“Okay, that’s enough,” I snap, cheeks burning
Skyler fans herself. “My, my… casual Jayce is quite the sight.”
“He’s literally just sitting there,” I mumble.
“That shirt should be illegal,” Rylee adds with a waggle of her brows.
Jayce laughs beside me, clearly enjoying every second of this.
Skyler grins at the screen. “Sutton, blink twice if your panties are melting and you need a new pair.”
My eyes go wide, mortification rushing through me.
“I hate all of you,” I declare. “Go ogle your own men. I’ve got work to do. Buh bye!”
“Boooooo,” Rylee replies.
“Party pooper!” Skyler whines.
Grace just laughs. “All right, talk to you later!”
“Good luck with work!” Stacey adds with a wink.
I quickly hang up the call, shaking my head. Jayce laughs again but doesn’t say anything. Desperate for a distraction, I dive back into work, and I’m actually able to focus in for several minutes.
Then, I hit a sudden snag with my model.
“Oh, shit,” I murmur, furrowing my brow. “Why isn’t this working?”
I try another calculation, and it’s still off. Again and again I put in new measurements and functions, but I can’t make it work out. My thoughts start to spiral. Anxiety sets in and all the bad thoughts I fight so hard to keep at bay on the daily start pushing through.
You can’t pull this off.
You’re going to screw this whole project up.
Your parents are right, you can’t do this on your own.
I tug at my fingernails, panicking. Suddenly, Jayce taps the couch cushion between us with his finger, yanking me out of myblack hole of doom. Blinking, I look up and meet his gaze. His expression is calm. His stare is steady.
“Eyes on me, Starling,” he orders. “Breathe. In… out.”
He’s done this before. Noticed me losing it and pulled me back to reality. I do as he says, breathing deeply and following his lead. Sooner than I would’ve expected, I calm down. I don’t know how, but it works every single time. He just knows how to get me out of my head and quiet the negative thoughts swirling inside it.
Maybe that’s why I was so willing to surrender to him. He makes me feel safe. Comfortable in my own skin. Giving myself to him just felt so natural. So right. It’s hard to explain fully, but something in me just yearned for the peace I knew he’d give me.
Once he’s sure I’m good, he goes back to watching his game, letting me get back to my work.
I feel at ease. Peaceful. Jayce is such a steady force for me, I don’t have to worry about losing my footing and floating off into the abyss. I’m not even feeling anxious about how quiet my family’s been. I haven’t really heard from Mom or Dad since I told them about my engagement, but I’m not fretting about it, which is kind of refreshing.
This night — like so many of our nights together — is so quiet and peaceful. I’ve never really had that before. Relaxing evenings just aren’t really a thing with my family — it’s either work, networking, or pressure about marriage. There’s no taking the mask down. If anything, I feel like I have to be charged at 100 percent anytime I’m around them. But with Jayce, I don’t feel as if I have to be performative with my time. I don’t have to maintain a perfect appearance or stay tuned to what my parents are doing so I don’t say the wrong thing or act the wrong way.
After a little while longer, I close my laptop and stretch my arms over my head.
“I’m going to bed,” I say, standing.
Jayce looks up at me and asks, “Do you need anything before you go? I can whip up a mean chamomile tea.”
I grin at the offer, but shake my head. “No, I’m good. Thank you, though. I’ll see you in the morning.”
