She pauses and swallows and I see a flash of pain cross her eyes. I frown. She clears her throat and continues, but visibly leaves some sort of key information out.
“...when it became clear I was going to have to take over the company one day, I got more serious about it. I studied Digital Architecture in college.”
“Digital architecture? Not business?”
She chuckles. “You sound like my dad, but I wanted to understand the actual heart of my company. The artistry behind it. I’ve always loved drawing, and it was a way to combine that love with my future career. It helped make it easier to give up dance, being able to have that other creative outlet.”
I smile. “I want to hear more about your dancing.”
She nibbles her lip, looking away from me. This is clearly a tender subject, which only makes me more curious. She’s so passionate about her family’s company and her work, it never crossed my mind that she might have had other aspirations at some point in her life.
At length, she sighs. “I started when I was little. Mom thought ballet classes would make me more graceful and coordinated as I grew up. She didn’t expect me to love it so much. To become passionate about it and dedicate so much of my life to it. I was Clara inThe Nutcrackerwhen I was thirteen, and I dreamed of playing the lead inSwan Lakesomeday.”
She smiles, her tone still wistful. Almost dreamy.
“So, what happened?” I gently ask.
A flash of sadness crosses her gaze and she tries to hide it, but I catch it before she can mask it completely.
“I got too busy chasing my other dream of being CEO.” She turns her face and gazes off into the distance. “I miss it, though. It was one of the only ways I could ever quiet my mind. Tamp down the anxiety and stress that’s constantly bearing down on me.”
I feel a surge of protectiveness for her. I want to wipe the sadness from her gaze and hunt down whoever it was who made her think she couldn’t have both, but I resist. Not sure that closing the physical distance between us is a good idea if we’re trying to keep this as a business partnership. Don’t think I could stop myself at just holding her in my arms.
Shaking her head, she forces a smile and looks up at me. “Enough about dance. What about you? How’d you manage to balance hockey and your aspirations for your family’s business?”
I’m not used to talking about this side of myself with people, but she’s opened up so much to me, it seems only fair. “Well, to be honest, hockey has always done the same for me that dance was for you. Luckily, I was able to make a deal with my grandfather to keep playing and take the company over when I’m thirty-five. It was an easy deal to make because my dad wasn’t ready to step down as CEO anyway. He’s not a Parker, though, so my grandfather has always planned to have me take his place.”
“So why the fake engagement? What do you get out of it?”
I scratch at my chin, trying not to let my embarrassment show. I’m so pissed at Ryan. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have to do any of this, but I refuse to drag Sutton into my family drama or have her worrying about it, so I decide to give her the bare bones explanation. “I need to prove I’m serious about my future and am not afraid to settle down. That I care as much about the family and the business as I do hockey.”
She meets my gaze and tilts her head, studying me for a moment. “If you had to choose between hockey and Parker Global, which one would you choose?”
The question gives me pause. Once, I feared I’d have to make that choice, but I got lucky and was given the chance to do both. If I was forced to make the decision, though?
“I honestly don’t know.” I scratch at my chin as I consider my words carefully. “I love hockey more, for sure, but my family’s legacy and loyalty… those are important to me too.” I hesitate a moment before continuing, “My family doesn’t exactly get along. My parents don’t have a loving relationship, and there’s a lot of tension between my grandfather and my dad. That doesn’t help things, since it tends to pit Grandfather and Mom against Dad. My brother, Ryan, and I don’t get along, but my sister Hallie is pretty great. Sweet and understanding. Still, despite the icy dynamic, I don’t want to let them down. I want to protect them all, I guess, and ensure their future. I can do that better as the CEO of Parker Global than as a hockey player, so it’d be difficult to give that future up.”
If anyone else had asked me that question, they might be confused by my response. They might even try to insist that I should choose hockey if that’s what I truly love.
Sutton, though, just nods in understanding. “Yeah, I’m with you there. Absolutely. Family can make things…complicated.”
The waitress appears with our food, and as we eat, we fall into a comfortable flow of conversation, focusing on lighter things. I like watching her eat. She’s not afraid to enjoy her food, unlike other rich girls I know. She also seems to relax, and I feel a buzzing of pride in the back of my head that I’ve helped make her feel better. When she talks about her family, she tells me about her Aunt Delilah, who she clearly adores. I notice that she seems lighter when talking about her aunt rather than her parents. Delilah’s also how she connected with Romero, and she finally goes into more detail about her meeting with him and how well it went. Even talks about some of the ideas she has for the performance center. She’s still not saying something about it, but I appreciate getting at least a little more insight.
“There’s just so much potential,” she gushes excitedly. “It could be a real showpiece of the city, blending its old fashioned charm with modern amenities. It’s really a gorgeous building… just needs some TLC.”
The way she brightens up when she talks about architecture — this peek into her creative mind — is so fascinating. She has my full attention.
“It sounds fantastic,” I tell her. “Romero and his board would be idiots not to hire you.”
Her cheeks go pink at the compliment and she smiles, looking suddenly shy.
“Thanks,” she mutters, gazing down at her burger. “That’s really… I mean, I appreciate that. It’s just this presentation in front of a group, it has me…” she shakes her head and forces a smile. “Well, whatever. Let’s just enjoy the night.”
I get the sense she doesn’t get complimented for her brain and brilliance nearly as often as she should. The thought pisses me off, but also fills me with a wave of determination. In the short time we’re together, I’m going to make sure she knows how incredible she is. I want her to know just how smart, beautiful,and capable she is, so that when this fake engagement comes to an end, she never has a reason to doubt herself again. It’s the least I can do.
After we finish eating, she appears full and content. The buzz from our drinks at the bar is gone, so I drive us back to the apartment building and lead her up to the penthouse. Once inside, Sutton rests one hand against the wall and reaches down to take off her heels.
“Don’t know why I decided to keep wearing these,” she grumbles. “I should have just worn more comfortable shoes once I got changed, but I just had to look hot…”
