Want, though.
Nope. Not want either.
Luka closed the door with a quiet snick and leaned back against it. “I think I’ll stay.”
Izzy poured a bowl full of water from the jug and lathered her hands with the sage-infused soap, before rinsing and drying them carefully on a clean towel. The woody scent rose around her, and her heart ached. The scent permeated her childhood. How she wished her father was still sitting at his desk outside.
But he wasn’t, and it was long past time to move on with her life. When she’d finished, she met Luka’s eyes once more. “I think we’d both be happier if you went back to your duties. Investigate Narya’s room, speak to your soldiers….” She narrowed her eyes. “Find someone else to nursemaid.”
“Izzy—” Luka started, but she cut him off with a sharp wave of her hand.
“Go away, Luka.”
He stalked toward her, and she glared at him, but she refused to step back. She didn’t move, even when he kept coming until he was looming right over her. And then he lowered his face until his forehead was touching hers.
She held her just-washed hands out at her sides and scowled back at him. She didn’t want to touch him.
Actually….
She ignored her beast, refusing to move, as Luka rested his hands gently on her hips.
“I’m sorry, Izzy.” His voice was low and soft, but he was close enough that she could see his pulse flickering beneath the scales that armored his throat. “I always say the wrong thing around you. But it wasn’t what I meant.”
She shook her head, disbelieving.
“I was very angry,” he muttered, and she started to pull away. Bollocks to that.
His grip tightened. “Not at you! At Shane. At Rayan, and….” He swallowed, scales rippling. “I was angry at myself.” Luka’s irises were circled with a rim of iridescent opal-green, and she could hear the rumble of his beast in his words as he continued.“They plotted, and they lied, and they made decisions for me and about me and then abandoned me. And I… let them. I let that stand in the way of what I really wanted. I thought I was bad for you. That you’d be better off without me. Maybe if I’d known the truth….” He let out a rough breath. “Rayan and Shane wanted me to be your nursemaid, but I wanted something else entirely.”
See.
Did she, though? “What did you want?” she whispered.
Luka closed his eyes, shielding himself from her. “I just wanted you. For however long you wanted me back.”
Gods, she’d wanted to hear those words for so long. And yet…. “But you said?—”
He rumbled, deep in his belly. “I know all the stupid things I’ve said. Can we just…? Could I…? Fuck it.” He slanted his mouth against hers and kissed her.
Izzy forgot to keep her arms at her sides, forgot that she wasn’t going to touch him, forgot to keep her distance and hold on to her anger. She lifted her hands to hold his face and kissed him back.
There was no delicate pressing of lips or gentle tasting. The kiss was wild and insistent and full of fire. Luka’s fingers dug into her hips as he gripped her, as if she might fly away if he ever let her go. She met him open-mouthed and breathing his air as he breathed hers.
She pressed closer to his body, the hard length of him unmistakable against her belly. She wished they were back in his room, or alone in her small apartment, with hours upon hours, just to live in this perfect kiss.
But the woody smell of sage filled the room, and the bright light from the mirrors sparkled behind Luka’s head, and a young woman was dead. Sense slowly returned, and she drew back. “Luka….” She didn’t quite know what she needed to ask.
“I’m sorry, Izzy. I really am.”
Her hands trembled where they still pressed against his cheeks. “I thought you wanted me to leave,” she whispered.
“I did?—”
She flinched, but he covered her hands with his, holding her to his skin.
“I wanted you to be safe. I wanted you away from this nightmare.” His throat moved with a heavy swallow. “But I also want you here with me.”
Izzy sighed. “I have to do this.”
