“Anyway,” Izzy continued softly. “It all happened so fast. I hardly had time to think about it before he was gone. And then….”
Then they were all grieving, and then she upended her life and moved into the city. Alone. And he had played a role in that too. Gods.
“And did he? Find anything?” Luka asked.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged one shoulder. “Why was he in Naos? Why was he on the path… if he even was on the path?” She looked down at their hands for a moment, before looking at him once more. “If he found something, he never told anyone.”
“I’m sorry,” Luka said, voice low. He was so fucking sorry.
She must have thought he was sorry for his argument with Rayan because she squeezed his hand before gently letting go. “He loved you like a brother, Luka. Remember that when you think of him.” She watched him for a long moment, her eyes tracking his. But she must not have seen what she was looking for, because then she turned away.
He followed her, carrying the lamp up the narrow stairs and into a tiny garret. And here—even more than the impressive array of wares in the shop below—he could truly see the Izabel he’d known for so many years. Curious, dedicated, and big-hearted.
A small wooden bed was pushed back against the wall to make space for tables full of mortars and pestles, neatly rolled bandages, piles of books, and drying racks of herbs. A large copper distiller stood in pride of place in the center of the biggest table, surrounded by small clay pots with wax-sealed lids and open parchments filled with Izabel’s slanting scrawl. She’d clearly been working on something… and ignoring her own comfort to do so.
“Here.” She leaned into the small wardrobe beside her bed and pulled out a pair of large cotton trousers and a shirt that was far too big for her. She held them out, her gaze flitting briefly over his chest before snapping back to his eyes.
The beast preened at her perusal, even as he gingerly took hold of the clothing and turned away to slip them on. And then froze. Gods, he didn’t want to know. Hedidn’t. Especially after what they’d shared downstairs. After holding her in his arms and flying together through the clouds. But… he had to. “Whose?—?”
“They were Rayan’s,” she said with a frustrated sigh. And then, more softly, “They smelled of him.”
Luka cleared his throat. He shouldn’t ask. It wasn’t his place. It couldn’t be his place. But he needed to hear it from her. He pulled up the trousers and slipped the shirt over his head before turning back to face her. “Not Jak’s?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
Her eyes narrowed. “How do you know about Jak?”
Shane had told him. Actually, Shane had told him to stop fucking around, get his stupid dragon head out of his stupid dragon ass, and go to her. And he had… which is when he’d seen them together. The sight had nearly destroyed him. And he’d immediately taken his stupid dragon head to the nearest tavern and poured so much alcohol into it, he was hungover for days. That was when he’d realized she’d truly moved on.
He turned toward her and shrugged, hoping he looked calmer than he felt. “I think Shane must have mentioned him.”
Izabel looked down, a shadow crossing her face. Of sadness? Regret maybe? Certainly some remembered pain. “And did Shane not mention that Jak and I separated over a year ago?”
No, Shane had not mentioned that Izzy was only with Jak for a few months. All this time, he’d thought she’d moved on. All this time, he thought she was happy and in love. Why the fuck didn’t Shane tell him?
Possibly because you told him never to mention Izzy again or you would resign our commission and move to the deserts of Kwanam to live by ourselves in a hut. And then the next time he mentioned her name—despite your warning—you pulled your sword.
Luka coughed. Yes, that was probably why Shane kept quiet.
And then another thought struck him. “Why did you separate?” He stepped closer to her. “And why do you look….” He couldn’t resist reaching out to cradle her face with his hand, tilting her chin up so that she met his eyes. “Did he hurt you?” The beast’s growl threaded through his voice, leaving it rumbling darkly.
“No, he didn’t hurt me!” The outrage in her voice sounded completely genuine. “He was a good man. A good friend. But it just…. I didn’t….” She blinked rapidly, emotions filling her expression that Luka couldn’t read.
He wanted to ask what she meant, but before he could, she spun away. She kneeled beside her small cot, her back to him, and reached underneath to drag out a dusty pair of leather shoes. “I don’t have any boots that would fit, but one of my patients gave me these. Hopefully they’ll fit.” She didn’t look at him at all.
Gods, he wished she hadn’t hidden herself. That she would turn back and tell him what was going on in her beautiful, clevermind. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and kiss her until that look of pain was gone forever.
We could! Shift back and I’ll do it!
Luka held in the growl that wanted to erupt at that ridiculous idea and concentrated on pulling on the shoes as quickly as possible.
Do it now! Take back all the times you’ve hurt her!
Okay. Yes.
Yes?
Yes. He would dress and then go to her. He would tell her that he thought of her every day. That he understood. That he’d tried to move on but simply couldn’t. Gods, she’d upended his world. She’d known about his fight with Rayan all this time. This was his chance to finally hold her. He tightened the last buckle and stood, his heart in his throat. But Izzy was already walking away.
Call her back!
