“I’m sorry, Josh,” Liam said earnestly. “I’m going to do better, I promise. You remember that time I ran away from home? Mum was working such long hours, and I guess you were busy. When I think about it now, you were sixteen years old, working hard at school and carrying two part-time jobs to help with the bills. But I was eleven, and I hated being alone, and I wanted you to pay me some attention.” Liam gave a small, wry smile. “You realized I was gone pretty quickly, and you came looking for me. You found me down at the bus station buying a ticket. I was going to London to look for Dad. Hell. That would have been a disaster, right?”
Josh let out a rough breath. “It would have been a disaster,” he agreed.
“You didn’t even shout at me,” Liam continued. “I thought I’d get a blistering lecture, but you took me for ice cream and apologized for ignoring me. You said you wished I’d stay because you and Mum loved me. But, if I really felt I had to go, I should have told you where I was going, should have made plans for who I’d stay with. And then you took a bunch of ten-pound notes from your wallet and gave them to me. It was everything you had. You said the most important thing to you was my safety.” A fresh set of tears dripped down Liam’s cheek, but he didn’t seem to notice. “You’ve always looked out for me. Always protected me. But now,youaren’t safe. And it’s all my fault.”
“God, Liam.” Josh rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out.”
“No,” Liam replied. “It’s really not okay.” And then he jerked violently. “I heard you! Fuck me. Say it again.”
“It’s okay,” Josh said again. His face was pale, a deep frown carving a groove down his forehead, and the tendons in his neck stood out in harsh lines. The air around him seemed to grow even more charged, the metallic tang of ozone even sharper. “We’re going to be okay,” Josh said roughly.
“I can see you!” Liam whispered. And then he flung himself forward into Josh’s arms.
Ellie stepped back, giving the brothers space as they held each other. Liam wept, and Josh supported him—they supported each other—as they found some peace. Some forgiveness. And as Liam’s tears slowly ebbed.
Ellie gave a watery smile to Vic, who, after her initial gasp of shock, had settled into a wide-eyed stillness as the brothers embraced. She had the look of someone who had been through too much in one day to truly process a response. But, after afew moments, Vic dipped her chin and returned a small, shaky smile.
For the first time, Ellie felt like there was hope for their family. That they might make it through the damage that Warren had done.
Eventually Liam stepped back, looking tired but far more settled.
But Josh… Josh looked exhausted. Somehow making himself solid had utterly drained him, and even as she watched, he seemed to grow a little less distinct, a little more translucent.
“There’s still something I don’t understand,” Vic said, looking between them all as Ellie made her way back to hold Josh as he leaned heavily against her. “Why did Josh come here to Ellie?”
“Something happened between us during the accident,” Ellie answered slowly. “I can’t explain it, but it linked us somehow.”
“Don’t leave me,” Josh murmured, the words twisting through her like an oath. “That day, lying there on that rough tarmac, I was broken. I was going to close my eyes and let it all go. I was so tired. So cold. The pain was so excruciating. But you said, ‘Please don’t leave me.’ And maybe something in me recognized you, because I stayed.”
She stared at him, words frozen in her mouth. He’d stayed for her. He’d come back for her.
She wrapped her arms around him, tucking her head under his chin. He was so cold, his skin like ice, and she tightened her grip, pouring all her own heat, all the love growing in her heart, back into him.
She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head just as Liam gasped, and she knew no one else could see him now.
“I won’t leave you, Ellie. Not if I can help it,” Josh whispered, just for her.
She believed him. But she also knew the world. Knew how difficult it would be for him to keep that promise.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Josh lookedup from where he leaned on the rails of her decking as Ellie stepped outside.
The vicious cold that had gripped him earlier had eased. The tingling in his hands and at the back of his neck had slowly faded. And the feeling of warmth grew as Ellie came closer.
Her hair was up in a ponytail, her T-shirt slipping off one shoulder, and he wanted to scoop her up and carry her back to their soft, safe bubble. And then strip the offending T-shirt away completely and convince her to stay there with him.
“Hey, honey.” She smiled tiredly. “The kids are asleep.”
He snorted. “Are they really?”
She stepped into his arms, looking up at him with shining eyes and a widening grin. “I honestly don’t know,” she admitted. “I said goodnight and ran.”
A laugh rose through his chest. It was one of his favorite things about her: the way she had of always finding humor. No matter how dark, no matter how difficult, the situation.
“What have you been doing out here?” she asked.
Josh shrugged, rocking gently just to feel her body moving with his. He’d been thinking of how to find Warren and end the threat hovering over Ellie. He also needed to work out how tohelp his brother… and whether Liam deserved help in the first place. And he needed to visit his mother. He wanted to introduce Ellie to her—which was unsettling enough—but it also reminded him to worry about what kind of future they could possibly have together.
