She kept breathing. Kept moving. And with every mile, her anxiety slowly eased. Driving became more natural.
She had done it.
Slow tears rolled down her face, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand and smiled—even if it was a little shaky—letting all her built-up emotions release; relief and gratitude warm within her.
She turned the radio to classic rock and left the sound low as she moved to the back roads for the journey home, driving past houses and through villages. And at the last minute, she drove past her turnoff and down to the beach instead.
The car park was long and narrow, running along the promenade, and still full even so late in the day. She found a spot right at the back and pulled in.
She wound down her windows, and the sea air filled the car, it was starting to cool and full of salt, teasing against her skin. Children played and shouted in the distance, teenagers listened to music a little way down the beach, and the sound of the waves formed a lulling backdrop to it all. It sounded like joy.
Had she ever felt so alive?
Next time, she would take him with her. Next time—if there was a next time—she wouldn’t hold back.
Chapter Thirteen
There was darkness.There was a woman—Ellie. And now there were also memories. Memories of soft skin smelling of vanilla and jasmine, a quiet laugh, a quick wit, and a vibrant imagination. Memories of her body so close to his. Her hand on his chest, just above his heart. Memories of the all-consuming need to touch her. To hold her. To keep her. And twining though those memories, the sharper, colder, instinctive knowledge that she was not his to keep. That he shouldn’t get too close. That he needed to control his feelings.
He remembered a man, older than him, someone important, ruffling his hair. “Be good, Joshy. You’re a big lad now. Your mum needs you.”
No,he wanted to scream. She needsyou!Ineed you! But he didn’t open his mouth. Why not? He kept silent. And the man walked away.
And there was also the memory of a dark SUV and a steep road. He hated that memory. And the fear that came with it. What if he remembered it because he was there? What if he’d been involved?
He forced away the thought. Allowed himself to sink deeper into the darkness. Away from all the things he didn’t know and didn’t want to know.
He floated for a long time, in that dim, silent place. Until the sound of beeping drove him to the surface.
Where was he? He forced his gritty eyes open. Tried to understand. He didn’t know this place. It was cold and bright. His lips were cracked, his mouth dry. It wasn’t Ellie’s house. She wasn’t there. There was no sunlight, no warmth, no lilting voice. And his body didn’t move. It was locked in place.
He would have howled, if he could.
“His eyes are open.” A voice spoke loudly beside him. A voice he knew. His… brother’s? He tried to turn his head. Couldn’t.
“Why are his eyes open?” There was a flurry of activity. Someone new. A light shone in his eyes, but it hurt so he closed them again.
He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be back with Ellie. And he’d promised. Somehow he knew—he’d promised.
He let himself drift back into the darkness.
Chapter Fourteen
Ellie leanedback in her ergonomic gaming chair, the glow of her three screens casting a shifting blue light over her skin.
She was sitting in her home office—and gaming room—which had always been her happy place. The place where she could live in worlds that were fast and bright and full of adventure, with a set of online friends she enjoyed supporting, competing, and joking with.
When she’d first come home after her accident, her whole body battered and aching, this was where she’d come. And she’d been immediately welcomed back with a flood of messages pouring through her open chats. But even the people she’d played with for years didn’t really know her. And she hadn’t wanted to bring her problems into a gaming chat any more than she wanted to take them in to work, so she’d kept the details to herself.
Since she’d woken up in hospital, the only time she’d felt truly, authentically connected was with Josh. And he was gone. It had been two days, and he still hadn’t come back.
She turned her focus back toBalrog’s Bridge, a next generation RPG set in a far darker Middle Earth than even Tolkien had imagined. Despite it being a Saturday, she’d spentseveral hours working, and then moved onto her current favorite game. It was what she needed; something twisty and creative, with an array of challenging side quests to keep her busy. To keep her mind occupied.
By the time she’d finished freeing an Uruk-hai rebel from the Witch King’s hold, it was midnight. She was exhausted but wired. High on the adventure and buzzing from too much adrenaline with no outlet.
And the quest she’d completed had teased her with the potential of an orc romance and then left her unfulfilled.
What if the rebel had been her character’s soul mate?
