He hadn’t wanted someone in his life—someone to worry over and fear for. And now here he was. Emma was still flushed, her hair disheveled and her lips swollen. She was naked, and they were standing in her room while their Shadows swirled and danced.
Everything suddenly seemed significantly more serious. He’d been so caught up in getting closer to Emma—first to find Gordon and then entirely for himself—that he hadn’t stopped to think about what it would mean when he got here.
His shoulders bunched and he had to fight the urge to pull his hand back and cross his arms over his chest.
Emma tilted her head to the side, watching him carefully. “Is this what you want, Zach?”
“I—” He wanted it. Absolutely. He wantedher. But she also terrified him. He’d lost too many people already. If he got any closer and then lost Emma, it would destroy him. He would break like his father had broken—or maybe even more thoroughly. But he also knew that Emma had already changed everything. She was already deep under his skin. And he was already afraid that she could get hurt and horrified at the idea of losing her. He was already vulnerable.
“I do want this,” he admitted, his voice low.
“But?”
He swallowed down the fear and met her eyes. “Our Shadows have chosen each other, so this will…. This takes us somewhere new.”
Emma nodded slowly. “Where will it take us, Zach?”
He shook his head slightly. “Over the line. Into something else.” He cast around for the right word to explain what he meant. “Something… more.”
Her lips picked up at the sides. God, she was so pretty. And so brave, standing there naked and vulnerable, but not retreating.
“We crossed that line already.” Emma reached up and smoothed her fingers over his forehead—he hadn’t even realized that he was frowning—and spoke softly. “This is already something more, Zach. I want that with you. But only if you want it too.”
ChapterFifteen
Emma stroked Zach’s forehead,trying to ease the deep furrows even as she knew she couldn’t fully erase his fears. She couldn’t promise him that everything would always be okay. The world didn’t work like that, and they both knew it.
Her whole life had been a battle to create something out of nothing, and she’d done it. It was possible. And it proved that even when it felt like everything was lost, it was still possible to make something beautiful.
Together, they could create something magnificent—but he had to want it more than he feared the risk.
“Do you want to go back to the kitchen?” she asked gently. “We can have dinner together.”
He was silent for a long time. Long enough that she started to wonder whether he might go further than just the kitchen. Whether he might walk out the door and not come back. But then he dropped his forehead to hers. “I’d rather stay here. With you.”
“Okay,” she whispered, stepping back to sit on the bed. Giving him the space to make his own decision.
He took a step closer. “You terrify me.”
She let out a breath. “I know.”
Zach chuckled softly. He took another step closer as his face grew serious once more. “I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this.”
Emma leaned back on her palms and smiled up at him. Perhaps she should have felt vulnerable, but she didn’t. She wanted to be with him and she wanted him to know it. “I feel the same.”
Zach nodded slowly, then stripped off his jeans and took another step closer. Close enough to touch. God, he was beautiful naked. She couldn’t resist running her hand up his outer thigh, feeling the muscle bunching under her hand, the rough hairs against her palm. His cock was thick and heavy, leaking precome as it rose toward his belly, and she gripped his leg as she leaned forward and swiped her tongue over the head.
His hand settled in her hair, guiding her gently as she took him into her mouth, her eyes still on his. He shuddered letting her taste him, letting her run soft kisses down his length and then slowly lick her way back up.
She’d never been able to play like this. Never been able to drag her hands over a lover’s skin and sink her fingers into his muscled thighs while she wrapped her lips around his cock and sucked.
Zach groaned, a low rumble that added to the thrill of finding her rhythm and knowing just how deeply she was affecting him. She drew him deeper into her mouth sucking hard and his hips pushed forward, seeking more, and for a moment she thought she had him, but then he muttered and pulled back until she released him.
She licked her lips and his eyes darkened as his fingers tightened in her hair. “Condoms?” Zach asked, looking down at her.
Emma bit her lip. Her bedside table held several vibrators, but no condoms. There hadn’t been any point.
“No problem.” He released her to pick up his jeans and pulled a couple of condoms from his back pocket.
