Zach watched her with eyes the color of the sea as he spoke in a low voice. “If you want to control your Shadows, if you want to feel them and use them, and hopefully finally be rid of those headaches and nightmares, there’s a chance that Ethan can help you. But if you don’t want that, if you’re happy, then that’s okay too. I’ll support whatever you want, one hundred percent.”
If she was happy. God. Shewashappy. She was fulfilled and proud and challenged every day. She’d built something amazing. Something beautiful. But she had also been so very lonely. She had reconciled herself to never touching anyone. She’d been cut off from the people who might have understood her and from ever getting close to anyone. More than that, she had something inside her that didn’t feel right. That didn’t feel likeher. And Zach was giving her a chance to change it.
It was overwhelming and terrifying. What if she got her hopes up and it didn’t work? What if she met Zach’s friends and they took one look at her and turned away in disgust? What if Zach—
“No.” His voice was rough as he leaned forward, pulling her closer until their boards bumped into each other and she could feel the heat of his body next to hers.
“No?”
“I saw that look on your face and I’m telling you right now—it makes no difference to how beautiful I already know you are. Don’t do this for me, or because you think it’s something I might want.”
“What do you want?” she asked, her voice as rough as his had been.
Zach dropped his hand to her shoulder, but he never looked away. His eyes stayed utterly focused on hers. “All I want is for you to have everything you need. I want you to be happy and safe. If that means leaving your Shadows as they are, then that’s what we’ll do.”
When had anyone ever in her life put her well-being first? It had been years. Certainly, no one had bothered since her mother had died. And now Zach was offering her this chance. A chance to cure a hurt that she had carried around for so long that it had become a part of her. The constant headaches. The pain. The isolation and disconnection.
What would it be like to live her life feeling like her true self? She dragged in a shuddering breath, unable to stop the hot prickle of tears in the corners of her eyes.
Zach reached over and swiped at them with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Fuck, all I’ve done since I got here is make you cry.”
Emma wrapped her hands around his wrists and held him tight. “I’m crying because I’m happy. You made me happy.”
“Really?”
“Really. No one else has ever tried to give me what I want.”
“What doyouwant, Emma?” His voice was so low that if he hadn’t been so close, she wouldn’t have heard him.
She wanted so many things. She wanted Zach. She wanted his friends and family to be safe. And she wanted to take this next step in creating the life she’d been building toward for so long.
A flare of sharp pain stabbed behind her eye but she rubbed it away. “I want to take this chance.”
ChapterFourteen
Zach pulledinto Emma’s driveway as the sun finally slipped behind the distant hills. Her house was a small stone cottage with a thatched roof and a wild jungle of a garden filled with flowering rhododendrons, azaleas, and bright pink geraniums. It was exactly what he should have expected—beautiful, vivacious, and filled with life. Like Emma.
He’d been so certain he’d screwed everything up by mentioning her Shadows. But by some miracle, he hadn’t. By some miracle, he had made her smile. And she had kept on smiling. Kept on touching him and leaning into his hands when he touched her.
Emma answered the door wearing a soft cotton dress in violet-blue that brought out the reds and golds in her hair. She’d taken out the braids and it fell in silky waves down her back and around her face. His gaze traveled down to her bare feet and the shiny blue nail polish. When had feet become so erotic? He wanted to run his fingers along the arch of her foot. And then all the way up the inside of her thigh.
He forced himself to settle for a slow kiss, inhaling her fresh, clean scent and the warmth of her skin from her shower. Contenting himself with her slight tremble as he brushed his nose along her cheekbone to her ear. Then he passed her the bottle of wine he’d brought and followed her inside.
It was just as vibrant as the outside, and a perfect reflection of Emma. The open-plan living room was decorated with brightly colored cushions and soft rugs. Pot plants occupied every surface and they weren’t only decorative. Everything he could see was edible, from fiery chilis to a row of flourishing herbs, and even the pansies on the windowsill.
The living room led to a wide breakfast bar holding a selection of kitchen mixers and a big marble pastry board with a huge range cooker stationed behind it. The whole house smelled amazing. The rich, buttery herb-and-lemon aroma of roasting chicken poured from the kitchen. He’d never been somewhere so immediately inviting. If he’d ever imagined what a home should be, this was it.
Emma pulled out a corkscrew and started winding it into the top of the wine bottle. “I remember you loved roast chicken.” She smiled. “Didn’t you once ask your mum if you could have it for Christmas instead of turkey?”
She’d recreated his favorite dinner. God. The smell brought back a wave of memories. Dinners and laughter around the wooden table in their small cottage. His mum’s teasing, his dad’s gentle smile, Laura’s giggle. And Emma, too. She had been a part of that fabric.
He took the bottle from her hands and set it safely on the counter so that he could wind his fingers through her hair and tilt her face up to his. “Thank you.”
She was beautiful. Her eyes, so clear and bright, looked right at him. He had spent his life always just a little to the side, keeping himself a tiny bit distanced from everyone else, but Emma saw him.
She slid her hands up to hold his arms, and then she went up on her toes to press her lips against his.
Her hands were firm and her lips were warm and soft. Her body was pressed against his so close that he could feel each subtle movement as she swayed gently, their mouths opening to each other.
