Elizabeth wrapped an arm gently around Kay’s shoulders. “I’ve been fortunate,Cariad, to have two great loves. One who walked away, and one who died far too young. I miss them both every day.” Elizabeth looked at her, clear green eyes focused intently on hers. “They taught me that life is short, KayleighCariad. People make mistakes, and you have to be able to forgive them.”
Kay’s heart stuttered and she rubbed the aching burn in her chest. “Ethan didn’t trust me. He told me to leave.”
“I know. He explained everything.”
“Why?” Kay asked helplessly. Why would Ethan, who shared parts of himself so cautiously, who had walls higher than the moon, tell Elizabeth everything?
Elizabeth tilted her head, one eyebrow raised. “Why do you think?”
He had said that he loved her. That he would fight for her. Did she dare to believe it?
Elizabeth smiled as if she knew exactly what Kay was thinking. “James picked on Ethan’s very worst fear. He always did have some of the Sight, that boy, he knew exactly which button to press.”
Kay shook her head, but Elizabeth was still speaking. “More than that, James knowsyou. He knew all the right things to say, the right evidence to show to make it look believable.”
The tension in Kay’s throat was back, along with an unsettled flicker of regret. If someone from Ethan’s past had arrived armed with photographs and claims that he’d betrayed her, what would she have done? Especially if she had already experienced the kind of life-shattering deception that Ethan had.
She pushed the thought away—she would have spoken to him, at least. She’d have given him a chance to explain. She would have tried to understand. Wouldn’t she? The thought of her parents’ unanswered calls flickered uneasily at the back of her mind.
Kay sighed, leaning into Elizabeth. “I don’t want to repeat the mistake of believing in people who are going to hurt me so much. I don’t want to go through that again.” She struggled for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I feel… lost.”
Elizabeth nodded sympathetically. “We all get lost sometimes. But Kayleigh, this is exactly what I warned you about. We talked about what would happen if you never forgive.”
“No. You told me to take a chance, and I did….”
Elizabeth frowned. “I said to accept that people make mistakes. To take a chance, knowing that no one is perfect.”
Damn. Thatwaswhat Elizabeth had said. Kay took a breath and admitted the rest. “When I left my parents, I had you. And then I had the triad. Especially James. He was always there for me, always looking out for me.” She paused for a moment. “James asked me to choose him. He wanted me to trust him, and he kept arguing that he was doing it for me, but—”
“But people were getting hurt so you tried to stop him.”
“Yes. That’s when he hit me.” Elizabeth reached over and covered Kay’s hands with her own, waiting for her to continue.
“I’ve been hurt fighting before, plenty of times. But it was different being hit in anger by someone who was supposed to care for me.” Kay swallowed heavily. “Ethan believed that I’d betrayed him. He wouldn’t even look at me. And then James, God. He threatened me. He’s threatened all of us. He’s been lying to me all this time. And I still don’t feel like it’s real.”
Kay’s shoulders ached, knotted and tense, and she forced them back down. “The worst part is not only that they broke my trust. It’s that they made me doubt my trust in myself. My own ability to see the truth. I feel like I took a chance, and all I got in return was pain.”
Elizabeth pulled her closer, stroking her hair gently. “Oh,Cariad, everyone falls down—whether you get up again, that’s your only choice. The only thing that I can guarantee is that, as long as you’re alive, you will get hurt again.”
Kay gave a surprised huff through her clogged-up throat. “That doesn’t help me at all.”
Elizabeth cupped her cheek with her hand. “You can’t live your life without hurt. The only thing you can do is choose where to make your stand. What you’re prepared to fight for. You’re a fighter, Kay. You always have been. This time you need to fightforsomething, rather than against it.” Her gran smiled tenderly. “Let me ask you this: when James sent that Shadow attack toward Ethan, you tried to stop it, right?”
Kay frowned. “Yes, of course.”
“You stepped right in front of it?”
“Yes—”
“Were you worried about getting hurt?”
“No, I mean, I knew I probably would get hurt, but it didn’t matter as much as—”
Oh.
Elizabeth looked at her, eyes soft with understanding. “You have to learn to forgive,Cariad.It’s not a weakness. It takes far more courage to forgive someone and accept them—with all their flaws and mistakes—than to turn away.”
Elizabeth gave her a small smile. “When my heart was broken, my father gave me some advice I’m going to give to you. He said that even if we are lucky enough to find the person our Shadows choose, we still have free will. We can feel that rightness, that undeniable draw to just that one person, and we can still walk away. Like the boy I loved did. We have to choose to be with that person, Kayleigh. Because that’s what love is: it’s making that choice, over and over again.”
