Gods. He wanted it to be yes.
“No.” He forced the word out.
His beast rumbled unhappily, but he had to tell her the truth. He couldn’t live with himself if he misled her or she felt that he had lied. “Not me. I’m not built for relationships. I’ll get you to Alanna, or to wherever you want to go, safely. And then I’ll leave with the Hawks.”
“You’ll leave?”
“Yes. The Hawks won’t stay at Eshcol forever, when they go, I’ll be with them.”
You’re a fucking idiot. You’re pushing her away, and now she’ll go, just when you finally have her in your arms.
He ignored the beast. Pushing her away was the best thing he could do.
“Okay.” She whispered the word, but he felt the warmth of her breath against his skin. He felt it through his whole body.
“Okay?” he repeated, not sure he understood.
She nodded slowly. And then she wrapped her hand around his neck, pulled him closer, and kissed him.
It surprised him so much that, at first, he didn’t respond. The soft pressure of those full lips, her body nestled against his, the glide of her long hair over his arm.... It was overwhelming. Captivating. The world seemed to pause in its movement, and even the nighttime sounds of the forest fell away.
And then he kissed her back, and it all spun back up. So much sensation, so much feeling. Gods. He had never been so aware of a woman.
He licked slowly across the seam of her lips, and she opened, softening further into him. Her head relaxing back to rest on his arm.
Her mouth was hot under his, and he lost himself in the slow tangle of their tongues as they tasted each other. He gently scraped her bottom lip with his teeth, that gorgeous full lip that he had been desperate to taste for days, and felt her breath hitch as he ran his hand slowly up, over the curve of her hip, and onto her belly, letting his fingers trail slowly along the bottom of her full breasts, back and forth; still kissing her. She arched her back, lifting her breasts, and he took her offering, running his palm up over her velvety skin, his calluses catching on her taut nipple as he circled softly, again and again.
She whimpered, and he took that as his cue to pluck the tight bud between his fingers until it stood hard and puckered, and then moved his attention to the other side, as their kiss deepened.
Lucilla panted against his mouth, her hand tangling in his hair as she turned onto her side, facing him, and slid her leg over his, and then shifted closer, pressing herself against him until he could feel the entire length of her body against his.
Their kiss grew desperate, his cock aching and weeping in the heated crush against her belly.
Gods, he wanted her. In a way that would have terrified him if he’d been able to think about it. But he couldn’t think of anything other than how perfect she felt.
Her leg slid further over his hip, opening her, and he throbbed with the need to haul her even closer. To pour himself into her.
He broke their kiss to lean back slightly. “Do you want this? Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Her voice was as rough as his, her head thrown back against his arm, eyes closed.
It wasn’t enough. He needed her to see him. To know him.
His beast was riding him hard, and he knew that scales glittered all the way to his cheekbones. They gilded his forearms, gleaming in the dim light as he ran his fingers languidly over her thigh and up the length of her body, over her shoulder, along her neck and up, to rest on her cheek once more. “Open your eyes.”
She opened. Looking up at him with those big, dark eyes.
“Tell me again. Tell me you want this, with me.”
Her lips were red and swollen as she smiled, her eyes clear, not even hesitating. “Don’t stop.”
Gods.
He ran his hand back down sliding into the tight heat between them, and paused, almost touching her, but not quite.
Her eyelids fluttered closed as she spread her leg even wider, stretching over his hips. “Gods. Mathos, I told you, don’t stop.”
His beast growled agreement as he slipped his fingers through her folds, dipping into her wetness and then back to her swollen clit. She was so wet that he slid easily, spreading her open. Circling that throbbing bud, and then returning to glide two fingers inside her, deeper and deeper, driven on by her husky moans and by the powerful surge of need streaming through him.
