Gods. He really had been an ass. So much of what she did was driven by her lifetime of loneliness, and yet she was still brave and loyal. She was amazing.
Exactly what I’ve been saying all along.
He took her small hand in his. “I’m sorry, Lucilla. I know you love your horse.” There didn’t seem to be anything else he could say.
She nodded slowly. “So, I’m Lucilla now?”
His lip quirked as he fought a smile. “Unless you prefer Claudia?”
“Gods, no.”
“Your Majesty?”
She gave a mocking shudder. “Definitely not.”
“Then Lucilla it is.”
She gave him a slightly wider smile, and he couldn’t help but smile back.
She gave the road a skeptical look and then faced him again. “We go across on our bellies?”
Mathos nodded.
Her smile grew. “Wanna race?”
Gods. He almost did, just to keep that happy look on her face. But making her smile wasn’t his job, no matter how much he might wish otherwise. His job was keeping her safe and getting her to the Hawks.
“Next time. This time, I’ll go first. If anything happens to me, go back the way we came and hand yourself in. Remember, I kidnapped you—”
“Yes, yes.” She gave a mocking sigh, and he couldn’t help his quiet bark of laughter before they turned to the road and grew serious once more.
Chapter Thirteen
Lucilla stayed in the shadows,watching Mathos crawl across the road and then disappear into the trees on the other side. She knew he wouldn’t leave her—she had no doubts about that at all—but it was still difficult to stand there, completely alone, in the darkness.
She wondered what he was thinking as he scoured the trees and paths on the other side. No backup, no squad, just Mathos, by himself, already hurt, hunting for danger.
He wanted her to blame everything on him, and she had agreed to it, thinking that unless she was the queen, she had no way to save him. But standing there, surrounded by the night noises of the forest as he went alone to check for soldiers, she knew that he didn’t expect to survive being recaptured.
Seeing him reappear among the trees and gesture for her to join him made her want to run across the road and fling herself at him; to reassure herself that he was truly safe. But she didn’t, she lowered herself to her belly and squirmed across like an extremely inelegant worm.
Her thoughts of how graceless she might look were quickly overwhelmed by the thought that if anyone saw her, everything would be over. Or, worse, if anyone rode down that narrow track, they would plow straight into her. Gods. The last thing she wanted was to find herself under galloping hooves.
She lowered her head and crawled faster, desperate to reach the safety of the other side.
She reached the trees and pushed herself up to her knees under their cover, breathing hard with relief and exertion. Before she could even think, Mathos hauled her to her feet and wrapped his big arms around her as he pulled her against his chest. She wound her arms around his body, feeling the hard muscles shifting beneath her cheek.
“Fuck. I didn’t like leaving you alone.” The words were so quiet, murmured into her hair, that she wondered if he even knew that he had said them.
Had he been thinking about her as he scoured the woods? Did he know how terrified she was that he might be hurt again trying to help her?
She didn’t have time to reply before he was gently setting her away, not meeting her eyes as he spoke quietly. “Let’s go.”
Mathos picked his way along narrow animal tracks, finding them a path, and she followed, trying to step where he did, to avoid the small snapping twigs and crackling leaves that he seemed to spot so easily.
They walked in silence for at least an hour before Mathos began to talk in hushed whispers.
He told her about how he had been a soldier on the northern campaign but came back with the Hawks to take up the Blue. How glad the Hawks had been when they’d been promoted to such comfortable, prestigious positions; Tristan leading their squad as Captain of the Blues, and Val quickly promoted to queen’s guard.
