“No.” Before she could get it on, he grabbed it and threw it violently away. Then he pulled her into his lap, turning her so that she faced sideways, her head resting against his chest, her back naked under his hand.
She dipped her chin and wrapped her hands around her belly, as if she wished she could reach all the way around to her back and hide it, and the desperate sadness of it made him want to howl with pain and fury.
“No,” he said again, in a low, rough voice, lost for any other words.
He ran his hand gently, not quite touching her, over the newly healed skin; the red weals, and older, whitened scars. “Does this hurt?”
She shook her head against his chest, and he could feel the dampness of tears against his skin. “Okay. Tell me if anything I do feels painful.”
She gave a tiny nod, and he spun her onto her belly in the blankets so that he could reach every part of her. Running his lips over every wound, old and new. Over the hideous reminders of how much she had borne and the evidence of how strong she was.
She whimpered and tried to turn her head away, but he tucked his thumb under her chin and bent his head to kiss her lips, once and again, before returning his hand to stroke softly down her back. “I love you, Alanna. Every part of you. Don’t hide from me.”
She rolled to her side and looked at him. Her eyes shone too brightly, damp silver tracks still marking her pale cheeks, but the look she gave him was full of trust.
He kissed her again, teasing at her lips and gently into her mouth, all while running his hand over her scars again and again, and then, with his fingers resting against her spine, he whispered, “You are perfect. There is nothing about you that isn’t perfect. Do you understand?”
She closed her eyes and didn’t reply, but he could feel her shivering.
“Do you understand?” His voice sounded almost harsh, it was so rough.
She opened her eyes and gave a small, uncertain nod. Not good enough.
“You are perfect. Say it.”
She shifted forward until she leaned her head against his chest once more, and he pulled her into him, tightening his arms around her and covering her with his wing in a warm cocoon of safety.
“Say it, Alanna. You’re perfect. Magnificent. Stronger than anyone could ever imagine. Perfect.”
She shook her head as she whispered in a broken voice, “I’m perfect for you.”
It wasn’t what he wanted. But he would take it, for the moment. After all, it was the truth.
“You are perfect. And I will prove it to you for the rest of your life.”
He left the rest unsaid, not wanting to frighten her or disrupt the precious moment between them. But she must have felt the tension thrumming through him because she leaned back, eyes wide, her hands trembling against his chest.
“Don’t do it, Val. Don’t even think it.”
He shook his head, taking deep, slow breaths to keep his voice even and stop himself from clenching his fists. “Ballanor will pay for hurting you. This….”
“No!” She sat up, uncaring of the blankets falling down around her. “Please promise me you won’t.”
He sat up beside her, knees bent, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Alanna, my love, the last time I made a promise like this, it nearly killed us both.”
“This is different!”
“How?” He wanted to scream. Alanna had been hurt so many times and, once again, she was asking him to do nothing.
She pushed to her feet and stood, completely naked, her hair falling down her shoulders in golden waves, and stepped between his knees.
He had never imagined what it would be like to be visited by an angel, but seeing her in the dim light, strong and brave after everything she’d endured—looking down at him with so much love—he knew he would feel no more spellbound if she had been sent directly from heaven.
She pressed her palms to either side of his face so that he would look up at her. “Before, when we were in the palace, I asked for your promise of silence so that I could protect my people and yours from a needless war. Now, the only person I am trying to protect is you.”
Her hands were small and soft on his face as she continued, “There’s no pardon for regicide, Val. There would be no coming back. You would be hunted down by every authority in the kingdom. Forever. Assuming you even made it out of the palace in the first place.”
She pressed a small kiss onto his forehead, her eyes soft and clear. “I could tell you that this is all completely selfless, but it’s not. I never hoped to imagine that we would have a future, but now we do. For the first time, we have a chance to be together. But if you go after Ballanor, I’ll lose you. And I couldn’t bear it.”
