But even after the door snicked closed, and the sound of the television turned on, the dining room remained quiet.
“Elly—” Jesse said, the first to break through the ice shrouding the room in silence.
“No,” Eliana shook her head, rolling her lips inwards. She was not ready to hear his words. Not ready to consider the fact that he had allowed the girls toknow. To suffer with the knowledge of his affair. Because to believethatwould break the final joist on which she’d built the foundation of their lives. There would be nothing left. Nothing redeemable.
“I’m sorry, Elly.” Jesse’s voice was broken. Pathetic.
“For what, though?” She laughed, feeling hysteria bubble within as she turned to survey the room. Jesse sat forward in his chair, his skin tinted green, his hands gripped tight around the armrests, as if to hold him in place. To his left, Milo sat back, his arms crossed loosely over his chest as he watched the scene, expressionless. At the other end of the table, Bill was rigid in his chair, his eyes squinted as he quietly absorbed the drama, and Sue, across from him, simply wiped her cloth napkin beneath her eyes, smoothing away her tears as she listened.
“Let’s be clear. Are you talking about the cheating?” Eliana shook her head. “I’ve come to terms with that.” She breathed deeply, filling her lungs. “For the credit debt, maybe? Because I feel like we’re past the point for apologies there.” She tapped her chin in sarcastic contemplation. “Ah,you must be talking about the fact that you let ourtwelve-year old daughtersin on the secret of your infidelity and likely gave themlifelong traumain the process.Damn it,Jesse, they wereinnocent. How could you let this happen?”
“It’s not like Itoldher,” Jesse said, standing. “I thought she was sleeping the night she saw. I’d checked on her, and she was in bed!”
“Oh my, what a good father you were—making sure to tuck your daughters in snug before you went next fucking door for your tryst with the married neighbor. Nothing could go wrong there!”
“It didn’tmeananything,” Jesse argued, throwing his hands up. “I was just angry and—“ he glanced around at the audience hanging on his every word. “Could we maybe take this somewhere?—“
“Fuck that, say it here or get out.”
Jesse gulped. “I felt like I was losing you. It made me panic.”
“Of course, you were losing me! You never even started fighting for me!”
“That’s not true!” Jesse’s voice rose as he argued. “I’ve been fighting for us since day one! For this life that we have. We had such a good thing going.”
“Where I stayed home and handled all the household work and childcare like a good little wife?” Eliana scoffed. She glanced down the hall, lowering her voice. “That’s not the life Iwanted, Jesse,” she hissed.
“Yeah, well, when I created the opportunity, you slipped into the role awfully quick.”
“What do you mean . . .” Eliana stilled. “When youcreatedthe opportunity?”
Jesse waved a hand through the air. “I knew you wanted kids, but you were so hung up on goingto school first . . . so I took initiative. A couple pokes in the wrapper is all it took, and look at how things turned out. I wasright. I knew you wouldn’t want to go to school once you became a mother. It was all just for show, and I gave you what you really wanted because Iknowyou, Eliana.”
The words began to dull as a ringing took up residence in her ears. The accidental pregnancy. The twins. Their little suburban life . . . it wasn’t by happenstance. The workings of fate. Jesse hadplottedto steal away her dreams. To take away the pieces of her individualism one by one until he’d shaped her into his perfect, docile wife.
“I know what you need,” he was saying. “And yes, I’ve made some mistakes, but can’t you see how we weremeantto be together? We can get past this. I see you, just like you see me.”
She saw his arm moving in slow motion, reaching to grab her forearm, to pull her closer and make her listen—but what she didn’t see coming was the burly hand that landed on Jesse’s shoulder, spinning him on the spot. She also didn’t see the fist that collided with the side of Jesse’s face, spinning him back around the other direction and dropping him to the floor, where he curled into the fetal position, holding his face.
“You weren’tseeingshit,” Milo spat. “You knew she was out of your league, and you were doing whatever it took to keep your slimy grip on her. Everything but being a man who actually fuckingdeservedher.”
31
DONE
Eliana’s mind was still reeling as she watched Milo pace across the grass. Shock, denial, horror—she wasn’t sure what was truly guiding her in that moment, only that it felt like she’d had a bucket of ice water turned over her head. It was hard to breathe under the weight of this new reality. The truth that she’d failed at theone thingshe’d set out to do—protect her daughters.
Everything felt fresh and raw, and she didn’t even know how to begin to handle the furious man stomping about in her yard. He was talking, but the words were distant, like they were underwater.
“Calm down, Milo.” She heard herself say. All she wanted to do was think for a moment. Everything looked to still be moving in slow motion, all while her thoughts were spiraling at a speed she couldn’t follow, and his pacing was proving distracting, simply compounding her disorientation.
“Calm down?” He snapped, drawing up short. “Did you not just hear the same thing I did?”
“Of course I did.”
“Then why are you not the one freaking out? Are youdefendinghim?”
“No—”
