“Easy.” Judah’s voice is strained, rough with his own arousal. “We’ve got all night.”
“Don’t want all night.” The words tumble out fever-drunk and desperate. “Want you. Now. Both of you.”
Phoenix’s hand stills on my cock. Judah pulls back from the kiss, blue eyes searching my face.
“Mace—” Judah starts.
“I know what I’m asking.” I meet his gaze, willing him to understand. “I know what I want. I’ve wanted this since I was seventeen years old. I’ve spent a decade convincing myself I’d never have it.”
My hand finds his jaw, thumb tracing the sharp line of his cheekbone.
“Please,” I whisper. “Let me have this.”
Something breaks behind his eyes. His expression goes raw, vulnerable in a way I haven’t seen since we were kids.
“We should talk about this first,” he says, even as his body betrays him—hips pressing forward against mine, erection straining against his sweatpants. “Make sure you’re thinking clearly.”
A laugh escapes me, edged with hysteria. “Clearly? I’m in heat, Judah. I haven’t thought clearly in days.”
“Exactly.” His jaw tightens with the effort of restraint. “Which is why we should wait until?—”
“Until what? Until the heat passes and I talk myself out of it again?” I shake my head, grip tightening on his shirt. “I’ve been waiting ten years. I’m done waiting.”
“Mason—”
“What’s the worst that could happen?” The question comes out sharp, almost mocking. “An accidental bonding?”
Judah flinches like I’ve struck him.
The words hang between us, weighted with a decade of pain and misunderstanding. His hand falls away from my neck. His expression shutters.
Shit.
“That’s not—“ I swallow hard, struggling to find words through the heat-fog. “Judah, I didn’t mean?—“
“You did.” His voice is flat. “And you’re right. That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”
“I’m not.” I grab his face with both hands, forcing him to look at me. “I’m not afraid of bonding with you. I was afraid you didn’t want it. That you regretted the first time. That’s why I left.”
“I know.” His hand comes up to cover mine, pressing my palm against his cheek. “But hearing you say it like that—like it’s a joke?—“
“It’s not a joke.” I hold his gaze, willing him to see the truth. “I want this. All of it. You, me, Phoenix—whatever this is becoming. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
Behind me, Phoenix has gone still. Her hand withdraws from my boxers, resting instead on my hip.
“Mason.” Her voice is soft, serious. “Are you sure about this? Because once we cross this line?—”
“I’m sure.” I twist to look at her over my shoulder. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
Her amber eyes search mine for a long moment. Whatever she sees there must satisfy her, because she nods slowly.
“Okay.” She glances past me to Judah. “What do you think?”
Judah’s jaw works through something that looks like it might shatter his teeth. His gaze drops to where my body is pressed against his, takes in the flush spreading across my chest, the desperate way I’m trembling.
“I think,” he says slowly, “that if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.”
His hand slides around to grip the back of my neck, pulling me close enough that our foreheads touch.
