It had altered her opinion of him a little. Made him more human. She had always accepted that on a superficial level he was drop-dead gorgeous, and even more so on a deeper level – the way he was with the children, the work he was throwing himself into right now, and the way in which he was a constant support to her.
Now she saw his vulnerability as well, the burden he carried through no fault of his own. The things he had witnessed and the life he had lived before now informed her picture andshe wanted more than ever to be the woman who supported him, helped him heal and raise the daughter he had chosen. The same way he had taken on the role of support to her. His presence in class today filling her with confidence, letting her know that he had faith in her and so should she. That was worth more than anything. He really was beyond special.
On a more complex level she also realized that the people who knew him best of all might be speaking truth, in this case, the loathsome Hector who thankfully had sodded off to wherever he came from. For now Alex was revealed; she understood his need to heal somewhere peaceful and secure. His jokes about Marion being the scariest thing took on more meaning than she had realized at the time.
She also knew that there was a strong truth that he would be compelled to return to this life at some point, Hector had not been joking. Alex’s whole adult life had been dedicated to adrenaline-fuelled reporting, and at some point when that siren call began again he would be unable to resist. Whilst she would understand the need to answer it, could accept that he would only be in her life temporarily, she couldn’t impose that upon Sam. It would be hard enough letting him go as friends but if she made a family with him, there was no way she would stand by and see Sam left behind.
Sam might have developed so much in the last month, his confidence soared to heights she hadn’t believed, but she could not impose on him the pretence of security in a family unit that she knew couldn’t be sustained. She just couldn’t. As friends she could prepare Sam for their departure, protect him.
If she took things on from mere friendship with Alex, it would be wonderful; she knew they wouldn’t be a wham-bang-ma’am scenario. It would develop into a relationship that would bring them both joy, and that she imagined they would both flourish within, but it wouldn’t last. Itcouldn’tlast. Not with Alex beingthe man he was. A man with that itch for travel, a man who could never be happy contained in a small Cornish village. And she would not present Sam with a perfect family, knowing it was on a temporary basis only. Family was for ever. Alex couldn’t be.
Talking of family, was that Tom hovering at the gate, dog by his heels? What was he doing up here near the house?
‘All right, maid?’
‘Yes.’ Sylvie got out of the car and eyed him with suspicion.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
‘Like what?’
‘Like you’re a sheep just minding its own business and I’m a wolf that’s broken into the pen.’
‘I didn’t know I was. Are you a wolf?’
‘Fairly sure I’m just another sheep.’
‘Yeah, a sheep that thought I was the most evil wolf in the village up until a few days ago.’ Sylvie shocked herself as the words came out in a petulant whisper. That was childish. She should have forgiven him by now. She knew what it was like to feel insecure with your living arrangements, so she shouldn’t have been surprised that Tom had felt the same.
Tom quirked an eyebrow. ‘Fancy a cup of tea? The boy is feeding the chickens.’
‘On his own?’
‘Aye, he told me he wasn’t a baby and could do it hisself. I’ve been saying that for at least a year, so aye. Now, cup of tea or not?’
‘Go on then, I could do with one. Do I get the comfy chair? ’Tis my last night.’
‘Don’t push it!’ Tom’s smile let her know that for tonight his favourite chair was very much hers.
‘Race ya!’
He brought her a mug of tea and placed a large, really large, pasty on a plate in front of her. He had even dug out a paperserviette with holly printed on it from the drawer and laid it next to the pasty for her.
‘Long day.’
‘Yes, certainly was, but worth every minute. I think I’m going to make it work, Tom.’
‘Aye. Eat your pasty.’
‘Oh, I will. I’m ravenous. Cheese and pineapple isn’t as filling as it was when I was six.’
‘Eh?’
‘Never mind.’
‘I wanted to talk to you, maid.’
Sylvie saw a bit of pasty fly out of her mouth and across the room. Had she been transported to some kind of alternate universe?
