‘I decree it.’ She stamps her cane in the floor in the same way Phyllis does and waves her hand at Barry and Gary at the same time as Mr and Mrs Huang push me from behind towards the stage. I mount the steps reluctantly and go and stand next to her. I should have known she would milk her moment of glory for all it was worth, and I’m proud of her for doing so. I just wish it wasn’t resulting in me standing on the stage wondering what hell she is planning.
‘Right, and who are you?’ She shoves the microphone under my nose and I glare at her.
‘I don’t want....’
‘I will actually have your head chopped off,’ she declares confidently. ‘Who are you?’
‘Really? This is what you’re using your glory for?’ I question.
‘Who are you?’
‘Okay then. Hello, everyone, I’m Lily Galbraith.’ I do a little curtsy to the audience and the choir, every single one of them, bob back.
‘And...and who else are you?’
‘Um...do you mean the Love Doctoring?’ I hiss out the side of my mouth at my friend.
‘Oh yes.’
‘Okay, I’m Lily Galbraith and I am The Love Doctor. It’s possible that I’m going to kill my best friend this evening. Maybe on stage.’
‘Yeah, yeah. So repeat after me, I’m Lily Galbraith, The Love Doctor, and I have many issues,’ Jinx says with a smirk, ‘the worst one being—’ She pauses and hands the mic back to me. What exactly does she want me to say?
‘My worst issue would be ...um... that my best friend from the age of eighteen is now a bossy-arse crowned queen clearly not afraid to abuse her powers.’
‘No, no, we know that’s not it, don’t we? That is a blessing not an issue.’ She gives me a hard stare. The sort that would frighten even Paddington Bear.
‘I am The Love Doctor and I am a commitment-phobe,’ I say loudly to the crowd in a resigned-and-at-a-meeting voice.
‘Hallelujah. Yes, she is, ladies and –’ Jinx sweeps her eye over the crowd, who miraculously are very engaged with what is happening, even though I rather wish they weren’t ‘– ladies. And I am here for all Lily’s choices. For years she has been prowling amongst the unsuspecting of Bristol, advising by day and being very... um... active at night....’ Naturally she accompanies this with a stage wink.
Oh my God, I’m going to kill her. I don’t dare look at Jay. This is not what he needs to hear right now, a confirmation of my love of the single life. What the hell is she doing?
‘...but now we have to ask, is this what she wants in life? Why still single, Lily?’
‘Because it made me happy and because I have self-determination and because that was my choice...and because I had never met anyone who was enough to make me want to give up my single life.’
‘But?’ Jinx asks and suddenly I have a moment of clarity. I know what she is trying to do. She is trying to get me to ’fess up to the very thing I was discussing in the loos with Cass earlier. That it is fine to be happy in your life and make your choices but we also need to know when to make adjustments, when to shake things up a bit and not just carry on living as we always have been, just because we are scared of change. It is very easy to become constricted by our choices and the only thing I want to be right now is honest about the changes I want to make, the changes I want to make with Jay. And that is what she is trying to make me admit, here tonight, in my safe place with an audience of largely familiar and entirely friendly faces. I need to do this, I need to do this for me and I need to show Jay how my love for him is so important I will face very public, very possible, rejection to make sure he knows it. And my best friend is giving up her minute in the spotlight for me to do this.
‘But...um...’ Jinx queries, motioning for me to continue.
‘But when the time is right you will meet the perfect person. Just remember the golden rules,’ Cass shouts up to the stage and Jay spins his head to look at his sister.
She has some voice.
It’s possible that people in the bar across the road heard. The golden rules; she really has listened to the podcast. And Jayisthe perfect person, he is the only person I have ever felt like this about, the only person whom I can see sharing my life that would improve it, make it more.
‘Be brave!’ Chloe shouts.
‘Have faith!’ Ellie adds.
‘Be true to yourself!’ comes from Megan.
‘But don’t lick their faces!’ the teens and Cass shout in unison, hands around their mouths with High Jinx next to me on stage pumping her arms in the air. I begin to feel the tears, but more importantly I feel the strength, the support of the people in this room. My friends, my chosen family, these women Jay has brought into my life – and Jay himself. The man I was never looking for, but the man that found me anyway. The man that accepts me exactly as I am, the man not interested in the superficiality I have cloaked myself in for my whole adult life. The person I want to wake up to every day, the person I want to build a life with, the person I want to make decisions with, decisions that will go on to shape the two of us and the people we are and the people we want to become.
Suddenly I find all the strength in the world. I know what I want and I know I have the courage to give it a shot.
‘But I have been a fool,’ I say, my voice strong and empowered and projecting across the whole of the bar, the conviction clear in my voice. ‘I have been too scared to recognise that a change has occurred in my life and that I’ve been hiding behind my past rather than facing my future.’
