If he got it, he could really start to build a life in Penmenna, but if not, then he would be watching his inbox with baited breath or signing up for supply come September. Either way he would no longer be in the classroom with Pippa after this week. Which, in itself, was bittersweet. He knew he had a tendency to be a closet romantic, but he really had had high hopes for the two of them.
The night they had spent together still replayed in his mind at various times. Images would pop into his head: the curve of her spine, her neck, the freckle nestled in the mid-point of her clavicle. But there was no escaping that she had very clearly brushed him off. She had, at no point, referred to the letter he had written to her. Nothing, nada. She had ignored its existence completely, which he had to accept was her way of letting him know that she was not in the slightest bit interested in taking things further, in recreating the weekend he had found so magical.
He had been so very careful with the letter, taking hours crafting it as he laid out the depth of his feelings and his hopes for their future. His heart had been in his mouth all the time while he was writing it, and the day he had brought it into school for her had left him a bag of nerves. It was a miracle he had got through the day without anyone realising how elevated his blood pressure was.
Her lack of response meant he didn’t know to this day if she had ignored it because she wasn’t interested in anything other than a one-night stand or because she was scared off by the clear intensity of his feelings. Either way she had never explained, and the letter, which at the time he had thought was such a good idea, had instead sounded the death knell for their friendship.
Maybe if he didn’t get the job, he would ask. Putting his head over the parapet again was terrifying but he needed to know one way or another. However, he also he cared enough for her not to want to embarrass her any more than the letter obviously had. Arghh!
However, today was not the day to dwell. It was going to be their last day working together and he was going to focus on the positive. She still brought such light to the classroom, and every now and again he would think their friendship was getting back onto an even keel when all of a sudden she would get flustered and make her excuses to dive across the classroom for some imagined sand tray emergency. If nothing else, her determination to avoid him meant that she had spent a lot of time scrubbing non-existent dirt from things both before and after school. He wondered if the sudden cleaning spurt was a tool to avoid him. She seemed to be taking it to excessive and uncharacteristic levels, but he was also aware that he could just be being paranoid and she really didn’t give two figs.
Kam was excited for Sports Day though. He had loved it at school and was keen today and most looking forward to the egg-and-spoon and the three-legged race.
He had bought end of term presents for all the parent volunteers and a something for Pippa, that he had managed to source through eBay. He hoped she was going to love it, and that they could then end on a high, sweeping any misunderstandings under the carpet. He didn’t want to end the term with bad feelings between them but was nervous about giving it to her. He was worried she may read more into the gift than he intended. It was supposed to be a thank-you-very-much-for-being-such-a-pleasure-to-work-alongside gift, not a this-is-my-last-ditch-attempt-to-get-you-back-in-my-bed present, which it absolutely wasn’t.
‘Hello!’ Pippa came bouncing into the classroom dressed in an old-style tracksuit and Kam couldn’t help but grin as the memory of her yellow spandex popped into his head. ‘Oh, look at all the flowers. Aren’t they beautiful?’
‘They’re for the parent helpers. But here, I have something for you as well.’
Her face fell. Damn! This was supposed to be a pleasant moment. It wasn’t supposed to make her worry.
‘I haven’t got anything for you.’ Her voice was small, like a young child who had been caught scrumping apples.
‘And nor should you! You were in the room when I made it quite clear I didn’t want any end of term presents. Whilst the intention is kind, it gets so silly and competitive. Parents are under enough pressure simply bringing up small children, without having to conform to that nonsense. And the same rule applies to you.’
‘You did say you would be happy with home-made cards.’
‘I did.’
‘So I made you one of those.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. It’s just a silly thing and I know we’ve been a bit rocky this term, but I’m hoping we can put that past us and just enjoy today.’ She stood there looking at him, eyes big, nerves painted all over her face. He could tell how much courage that admission had taken and he could easily meet her half way. He had been building up to saying something similar himself, so he knew how daunting it was to be so honest.
‘Of course, let’s make today the best. Let me grab your gift.’ Pippa clapped her hands like an excited child, jumping up and down on the spot. He hadn’t realised how much she loved presents, although he should’ve guessed, and despite the tension of the last half term his heart soared at the pleasure on her face.
He really hoped she liked it. It was a bit of a gamble and he wasn’t a natural present buyer. He handed her the gift, which he had tried to wrap, again wrapping not being one of his natural skills. It did look a bit rough; he just hoped the saying that it was the thought that counted stood true.
The expression on Pippa’s face said it was. In fact she let out a sound, a kind of intermingled giggle squeal, as she tried to get into it.
‘I wanted it to be secure,’ Kam shrugged apologetically, fetching a pair of red-handled primary-school scissors to help her hack through the many layers of tape he had used.
‘It’s certainly secure. Ooh, hang on, I’ve got a corner.’ And she had. She managed to peel back a corner of the layers of wrapping paper and started to rip. With the help of the scissors, her tenacity and occasionally her teeth, she finally managed to pull the remainder of the paper off to reveal a pair of vintage Dior cat’s eye sunglasses, decorated with little bits of bamboo. Pippa was silent and he was desperately hoping that it was out of pleasure not disappointment. His own breath caught in his throat as he waited for a reaction.
Slowly she looked up and met his eyes, the glasses cradled in her hands as he spotted a teeny tear just brimming on her lower eyelid. He hadn’t wanted to make her cry! This was supposed to be a nice thing!
‘I… I… I don’t know… um… what to say. Kam, they are so beautiful, I could cry. I think I am crying. I’ve never seen such a beautiful pair, and they’re mine. They are mine, aren’t they?’
‘Yes, they are all yours. Definitely. Although you have to admit they would look great on me.’
‘Hahaha, they would.’ They laughed together and just for a moment it seemed as if they had recaptured how their friendship used to be – how it should be – and Kam wondered if this was making Pippa as happy as it was making him.
‘I’m a bit embarrassed about your card now.’
‘You said it was home-made?’
‘Yes.’ She made a sobbing noise as she agreed, and looked a little shamefaced.
