Kam and Nisha both snorted.
‘Glad to see your hair is done, sis.’
‘Thanks bro, always so understanding.’ She patted the short style and reached on to her tippy toes and gave her brother a kiss on the cheek. ‘Hi, Pippa, nice to see you. Guess you’re getting to see the family as they really are. That should put you off my big brother.’
‘Will you both stop it? I’m so sorry Pippa. Ignore my mother’s crazy bride talk, and as for my sister, she pretends not to be as bad but she’s probably worse. You two need to stop embarrassing me, and probably Pippa as well. She’s a colleague and a friend and nothing more. How many times!’ He turned back to Pippa with a sorry-my-family-are-so-horrendous smile. She recognised it as a look she had thrown to people fairly frequently. It seemed Kam had been right the other night when he suggested their families had a lot in common.
Kam changed the subject, probably to save himself being embarrassed every time his mother spoke. ‘I’ve arranged for Ben to meet us at ten, just off the A30 as you suggested heading right down west. How does that sound?’
‘That sounds fab, but in that case…’ she flipped a quick look at her phone ‘…we need to get a wriggle on. How long do you reckon before your sisters are ready?’ Kam rolled his eyes as both his mother and Nisha laughed.
‘Okay, I’ll try but if I manage to hurry them out, we all need to recognise I am practically Superman.’
‘Ooh good, it’s only fair that I get to seeyouin Spandex,’ came straight out of Pippa’s mouth before she could think, as Nisha dissolved into giggles and Mrs Choudhury developed a very smug look.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Kam managed to get his sisters out of the flat within the next ten minutes but, much to Pippa’s disappointment, he didn’t appear clothed in a body-hugging red and blue costume and cape.
His mum and sisters sat in the back of Geeta’s people carrier, clucking and teasing and giggling at high volume. Kam had made it quite clear that Pippa was in the front with him, for navigational purposes. She tried to offer the front seat to Mrs Choudhury, being a little uncomfortable about the matriarch being in the back seat but to her alarm, Kam’s mother had a Very Determined Look and shook her head, adamant in her refusal.
‘That’s definitely a win for the both of us. You escape my sisters and I escape my mum.’
‘Sitting in the back doesn’t make us deaf, you know,’ quipped Hema at the same time as Mrs Choudhury swiped her adult son around the head.
‘Smacking is harmful to a child’s health and largely frowned upon these days. It’s banned in some countries, you know,’ Kam said, rubbing the back of his head, his hair all spiky where he hadn’t been able to dry it properly.
‘You’reharmful to my health with your rudeness, And we’re not in “some countries”. And you’re not a child. There are no laws against smacking an adult.’
‘I think there are. It’s called common assault.’
She clipped him around the ear again.
‘Ow. Are you joking?’
‘Stop sitting here chattering. We’ll be late for Ben. Now, Ben is a good boy. He wouldn’t keep his mother waiting.’
‘He doesn’t speak to his mother.’
‘Well, she’s a dreadful woman. I don’t blame him at all. Come on. Hurry up.’
Pippa couldn’t stop laughing as this was going on. Kam looked like he was about eight years old, scowled at his mother and started the car. The radio came on immediately, ridiculously loudly.
‘She has it on this loudly in an attempt to scare the girls into submission and cover up the sound of clanking gears and screeching brakes. She’s a terrible driver. Let me turn it down so your ears don’t start to bleed. Although upon reflection you should suffer for laughing when I was being slapped.’ He turned the music down a smidge, so it was bearable but provided them some cover from the back.
‘Look, a wise woman doesn’t interfere between a mother and her son.’
‘Well, I beg of you, for today, please don’t be wise. I need a teammate. I’m seriously outnumbered here, always have been.’
‘What about Ben, won’t he be on your team?’
‘Are you joking? Did you see the Tupperware container my mother bustled on board with? Yup, I know you did.’
‘Oh, I did. I’m so used to it with my mum. We can’t go anywhere without bringing an entire snack selection.’
‘Right, although in this instance, those –allof those – are for Ben.’ His face suddenly lit up as an old Oasis track came on the radio. ‘I love this track.’
‘No way, so do I. Turn it up loudly so we can sing without anyone actually hearing us.’
