What art were you offering?
Ah, that might have been a bit naughty. You’ll have to wait and see.
Are you up to mischief?
Well, I’m not exactly sleeping. My phone keeps beeping.
Point taken. I’ll leave you to sleep.
No! You don’t understand. Lynne’s waters have broken. She’s having her baby! Oh my! Hang on a minute.
Oh goody, let’s hope she falls so desperately in love with motherhood that she never comes back.
Yep, Dave just texted and said that she’s seven centimetres dilated. Does that mean it’s nearly here?
My sisters made me watch animal videos but they didn’t teach me about childbirth! Can I guess and say probably?
I think it does. This is soooo exciting. And oi, don’t think I’m letting that slide. I like working with Lynne!
But you like working with me more.
Chapter Twenty
The news that Lynne was in the hospital and had given birth meant that the school was practically buzzing with excitement. Pippa could picture the whole community of Penmenna lining up outside the maternity unit in Roscarrock, piled high with balloons, teddies, flowers and nappy stacks.
Rosy let everyone know that all was well and the baby was a boy, and then suggested that everyone give Lynne a little bit of space, with all well-wishers waiting until she was safely home before the congratulations, gifts and offers of support trooped over.
She then pulled Pippa aside and added a little more detail – eight pounds five, ten fingers and toes and Lynne suspected she no longer had a vagina left – and added that she was the only one, other than Rosy herself, allowed to visit the hospital. In fact, Lynne was demanding she got over there as soon as school was finished.
Pippa didn’t need telling twice. The minute the bell rang she jumped into her car, threw aside some chocolate wrappers and empty drinks bottles, promised herself she would get around to sorting it out soon and dashed to the maternity unit.
Having been buzzed in and taken through the squeaky-clean corridors, Pippa was led into a side room where Lynne was sitting in bed leafing and oohing and ahhing through a sheaf of celebrity magazines. Lynne had an addiction to celebrity news that it seemed even childbirth couldn’t dim.
When Lynne had learnt that Angelina, a national celebrity famous for ornate hair and temper tantrums, was moving to the area Lynne had floated on cloud nine for days at the thought of bumping into her in the Londis. She still broke out into a hot sweat when she spent time with Rosy’s partner, Matt. Not only was he now a national treasure in his own right but he was also Angelina’s brother, the double whammy of celebrity meaning she could be relied on to hyperventilate for a short period before saying hello.
Although the biggest star of her world was currently lying in a little see-through plastic crib next to her and he was the sweetest-looking baby Pippa had ever seen.
‘Oh my goodness, he is so gorgeous.’
Lynne looked up from her flicking and squealed. ‘Oh, do come in. I’ve just sent Dave away because he was beginning to drive me potty. But isn’t he?’ She looked across at the crib and her face was alight with love and joy. Pippa suddenly felt emotional as she saw how deeply and utterly in love her friend was. ‘I know everyone tells you that you never feel anything like it, but, Pippa, I just can’t tell you what the love feels like. I thought I loved Dave, and was quite good at mildly tolerating him, but this love, this is something else instead. I feel like the fiercest wolf in the pack, and the proudest. I spent most of last night just watching him breathe; for some reason I was scared he might stop and I simply couldn’t bear it.’
‘I’m not surprised, and I think that’s perfectly normal, although that’s coming from a woman who’s never given birth. but that grin on your face and light in your eyes is enough to convince anyone. I’m half tempted to rush out right now to try and make babies.’ Pippa winced as she realised what she had said: Lynne had had such problems conceiving that she should have watched her words a little more carefully. ‘Oh, sorry, that was a bit flippant.’
‘Don’t be so daft, you’ve got nothing to apologise for. I know I’m going to repeat myself but it really is the most amazing feeling. Never ever could I have imagined it. I mean look at his dear little fingers, and the way he’s making that little sucky face in his sleep. I could watch him all day and I suspect that’s how I’m about to spend the rest of my life.’
‘I expect so, although please don’t turn into my mother. Honestly, I love her but if she could sit by my bed and watch me sleep she’d probably still do it. What’s cute at six months gets a bit creepy when you’re over thirty. Anyway, tell me about the birth.’
‘Do you know what? I’m going to save that for another day. I don’t want to terrify you and if I give you the gory details you will never have sex again. And as a woman who is definitely never having sex again I want to hear all about your adventures and live vicariously through you instead. The village grapevine tells me you are a very popular young lady at the moment.’
‘Does it? With whom?’ Pippa was surprised, not surprised that the jungle drums of village gossip were in full swing – that was par for the course – but that she was supposedly very popular. ‘Oh god, you don’t mean James, do you? That’s nothing.’
‘Chuck those things off that chair and sit down, your hovering is unnerving me. You look like you might kidnap the baby and run.’
‘I promise I won’t do that, but okay.’ Pippa sat down.
‘So, spill. I want to hear all about this James fellow, and I also hear you have a massive crush on my replacement, four and half weeks in the classroom and you’re smitten.’
Lynne rubbed her hands together in anticipation whilst casting glances at her sweetly sleeping bundle of treasure. Pippa felt herself blush with embarrassment. She never usually blushed. How on earth did Lynne know about her feelings for Kam. She hadn’t even been in school!
