A very well-behaved cheer went up as Rosy turned and left Pippa and Kam to it. And it was fair to say Mr Choudhury was smashing it. He managed to combine a really approachable teaching style with the children, making their morning good fun, whilst at the same time no one was under any illusion that he wasn’t fully in charge.
There was about fifteen minutes of the morning left to go, and Pippa knew she would be able to tell Rosy that Kam was utterly fabulous and the perfect cover for Lynne, when the classroom door opened and in walked Marion Marksharp. Woah! Now this was likely to become a baptism of fire. The majority of the teachers here couldn’t cope with this terrifying creature and her barked commands, no matter how many years teaching experience they had. Kam didn’t stand a chance. Especially as she seemed to have updated her image overnight.
Marion could usually be relied upon to prowl the corridors of the school, instilling fear and sporting a variety of tight, patterned clothes that were straight out of terribly middle-class boutiques in Fowey and Padstow – ladybirds and jaguars appearing to be this year’s favourite motifs – a look that her PTA devotees immediately adopted as a uniform, although none would be quite as fitted or pronounced as those worn by their Queen Bee. But today… today she had upped the ante and for some reason had decided to come to school in what Pippa, with her knowledge of all things vintage and her generous spirit, could only describe as Up-and-coming-eighties-Essex-elite-chic.
The dress, if that was what it was, had been sprayed onto Marion in an electric blue leopard print. It sat like a second skin, cut so low over her bosom that Pippa was aware she may well get a flash of tummy button. She was half tempted to grab a scarf from the dressing up corner and cover the woman up before the children developed PTSD.
Even more alarming was the look on Marion’s face as she stood in the doorway, arm perched upon the door jamb and striking a very sultry pose, as she eyed up Kam.
There was nothing for it: Pippa was going to have to intervene and get Marion out before she terrified the new teacher into running, screaming, out of the building, or brought about some other kind of catastrophe. Whatever happened she really hoped Marion’s acolytes didn’t start copying this new look, or Penmenna School could easily be mistaken for the casting room of ‘Mafia Wives’.
‘I’ll only be a minute, you guys. See if you can count up this group of seeds and then this group and see how many plants we’d have if we put all the seeds together. I’ll be back to help shortly.’ The teaching assistant leapt to her feet and made her way towards the head of the PTA. ‘Mrs Marksharp, what a pleasant surprise.’
Marion arched her eyebrows as Pippa greeted her, an arch that would have had Harmony, the Class Three teacher, running for the stationary cupboard. Luckily Pippa was made of sterner stuff.
‘Mrs Marksharp, is there anything you need?’
‘Yes, dear, there is, and it doesn’t involve you.’ Wow, that was pointed, even for Marion. It clearly wasn’t just her dress sense that was ramped up to scarily aggressive levels.
‘Well, as you can see Mr Choudhury is busy teaching at the moment, but I believe Rosy is in her office. If I can’t help you, perhaps she can.’
Marion pushed, actually pushed, Pippa to one side as she spoke, her words to the teaching assistant shot out of the corner of her mouth like a cartoon villain. ‘I think I know who it is I need to see, Miss Parkin.’ Then with her scary sexy crocodile grin on, she said, ‘Mr Choudhury, coo-ee dear, I wanted to come and introduce myself properly.’ She slinked across the room, a colossus of self-confidence and determined intent.
Kam looked up, startled as her voice boomed around the room and some of the class began to giggle. They were more than used to Marion Marksharp’s frequent visits to the classroom.
‘Hello, Mrs Marksharp.’ Ellie, one of the classes most confident pupils, greeted her.
‘Hello, dear, do send my love to your delicious father.’ But she spoke without slowing her pace, quite a feat whilst perched atop four-inch heels on a floor scattered with stickle bricks, small plastic chairs and a plethora of young children. Kam stood up from where he was sitting on the floor to meet her.
Pippa wasn’t sure what to do next. She didn’t want to undermine Kam’s authority by rushing over to protect him – it implied he couldn’t look after himself – but then again there were very few people in Penmenna who could deal with Marion. Pippa rejoined her small group of pupils no longer counting and ordering seeds as instructed but sitting agog to see what would unfold.
Kam and Marion met midpoint in the classroom.
‘Mrs Marksharp, I understand. A pleasure to meet you.’
‘I’m sorry to interrupt your teaching, dear’ – Pippa was amazed the woman’s nose didn’t grow so long it hit a display board – ‘but I wanted to come and introduce myself. I’m Mrs Marksharp – do call me Marion – the head of the PTA and, in my husband’s absence, the acting Head of the Governors. And I’m afraid at the moment he is very absent.’ She giggled and held her hand out rather like the Queen, as if she expected Kam to kneel before her, take it and bestow a kiss of supplication.
‘How are you? I believe we met briefly before, when I came in for my interview.’ He took her hand, rather awkwardly, and shook it.
‘Quite. We absolutely did. I remember you very well, very well indeed. In fact, I told Rosy that I thought she should offer you the job.’
‘Oh well, in that case, thank you very much. I think I’m going to love it here.’
‘Well, I’m a great believer in having pretty things to look at and you my dear have quite the prettiest eyes I have ever seen. Pretty eyes in a very handsome face.’
Pippa jumped to her feet. For goodness sake, clearly the #MeToo movement was not something Marion subscribed to.
‘Do sit down, Miss Parkin, I’m not going to eat him alive,’ Marion snapped. ‘At least not just yet,’ she followed up, the sharpness of her address to Pippa juxtaposed against the sultry tone her voice took on once she turned back to Kam. ‘I do like to get well acquainted with all the new teaching staff who come and join our wonderful community.’ That was news to Pippa. She was fairly sure Harmony Rivers had never been welcomed in such a manner, nor the far stricter Amanda Adams ‘So I thought I would just slip in and invite you to dinner. I’m child-free tonight so this evening would work very well.’
Don’t say yes, don’t say yes, Pippa willed Kam. If he rocked up at the Marksharp house tonight she had a fairly firm idea of what might be on the menu.
There had been a whisper that the Marksharps’ marriage may be in trouble, although, if anything was ever brought up in the staffroom, Rosy shut down all gossip fairly quickly, reminding people that no one knew what went on behind closed doors and the only sure thing was that rampant whispering and the dissemination of gossip could only make it worse. She also threw in her tuppence worth about how, as far as she was aware, the Marksharps’ marriage was more than strong and that Richard Marksharp was merely away with work. Pippa hoped for Kam’s sake that he came home pretty soon. The thought of a single Marion permanently on the prowl would be enough to drive any sensible man into his shed for the foreseeable future. School fayres and the like would become female-only affairs pretty quickly.
‘That’s a very kind offer, Mrs Marksharp, and I feel very welcomed by the Penmenna community but I’m afraid I’ll have to…’ –don’t say rain check, do not say rain check, Pippa willed him – ‘…have to pass for the time being. I’m picking up the keys to my new flat after work today in Treporth Bay.’ Kam named the next village over, somewhat chi-chi with its marina and high-end seafood eateries.
Far from putting Marion off, the mere mention of Treporth Bay made her eyes brighten. There was very definitely a purring noise coming from somewhere and Pippa could virtually hear the cogs turning in her brain from where she was sat.
‘Treporth, oh how lovely, and how wonderful for us that you are moving so close. Very well then, I shall let you settle today, but I expect an invite to the housewarming. In fact, if you like, I could organise one for you.’
