Oh yes, hand, um, shake. She remembered what she was actually meant to do, as opposed to just staring at said eyes. She stretched her hand out towards his and as their palms touched a shock tingled all up her arm and through her body. Oh, this was delicious. No! No. Not delicious, ridiculous, that’s what this was.Behave yourself, she chastised her disobedient body.For God’s sake, woman! You’ve got to live next door to him.
Besides which, look at his girlfriend. He is not going to be interested in someone whose idea of style is anything that can be achieved in less than five minutes.Actually, thank God for Perfect Hair, otherwise she could have been tempted to break her cardinal rule of dating. And this was exactly the sort of man that her rule had been designed to insure against.
She realized this handshake was going on a bit too long. She dropped his hand and forced herself to look at his face. Eye to eye, like a normal person making contact the first, oh all right, second time. Oh, bloody hell, maybe not the eyes! Now what was it he had said? Of course, that was right…
‘Um, Rosy, and it’s a pleasure to meet you properly.’ She managed to control her urge to drop a curtsy, and congratulated herself for beginning to sound more like a lucid adult. ‘And I’m sorry I was a tad grumpy last night but I had had a difficult day.’
‘Grumpy? Not at all. We had blocked you in, and then I broke your pot. I reckon I should thank my lucky stars you didn’t troop around brandishing a pitchfork.’
Rosy giggled, relatively normally. ‘No, I find poisoned chocolate cake is a far more discreet method. It’s funny though, I was going to ask my new neighbours to thank you. I should know not to make assumptions and I had assumed you were the removal guy. I’m pleased I was wrong and that you are my new neighbour so I get to thank you in person. Thank you. That was a lovely thing you did. That plant pot is so much nicer than my grotty old one. And it looks like you planted something in it too. I was really touched. In fact, despite my day, your gift meant that, come the end of the evening, I was smiling.’
‘Well, I’m a man with lots of plant pots and I do like the thought of making you smile. Be warned, I may besiege you with them.’ Twinkle repeated twinkle.
‘You’re welcome to,’ she replied. Was this exquisite man flirting with her? Were her initial instincts right? He clearly wasn’t to be trusted. Dear God, did she just think the word ‘exquisite’? Hmmm. She needed help! Rosy blushed again, but this time she thought the warmth flooding her body was less feverish than before. With any luck it was a dainty pink rather than the unattractive beetroot glare of earlier. Somehow she managed to maintain eye contact and keep talking.
‘Be warned though, I’m rubbish with plants, they seem to wither and die the minute I look at them. I wouldn’t want you to waste your efforts.’ Her head was exploding with the effort of normal conversation. She seemed to have developed some kind of split personality with half her brain filled with a hallelujah-ing chorus of angels and the other half occupied by her tearful, traumatized nineteen-year-old self shaking her head furiously at her adult self.
‘Oh, I don’t think they’d be wasted, I’ll just have to show you what to do.’
Yes please, thought the naughty part of Rosy joyfully, shutting down her own whispers of warning. They stood and looked at each other for a millisecond longer than was normal and she swore her tummy squirmed. Actually squirmed.
A high-pitched shriek from Perfect Hair, a room away, smashed their momentary silence.
‘Matt. Matt! Will you please put her down so we can get on with our day!’
‘I’m sorry about that, she’s intolerably rude!’ responded Matt, eyes rolling like a surly fifteen-year-old.
‘No, that’s fine. I have to get on with my day too. Anyway, it’s a pleasure to meet you properly.’
‘It was. An absolute pleasure. I’ll see you soon.’
Adrenalin still pumping, she offered up a quick prayer of thanks to the girlfriend, feeling that she had been saved from a weakness she had thought no longer existed. She switched right back to neighbourly and gave him a final smile as he showed her out.
As Matt shut the door his smile dropped. He turned and headed into the kitchen where his earlier guest was waiting for him.
‘For Christ’s sake, Ange, do you have to be so rude? I’ve just moved in – she’s my neighbour. Could you try not to upset her, or anyone else in the village, just for the first day or two, perhaps?’
His guest yawned and flicked a pistachio shell across the kitchen counter.
‘She’s dowdy and a peeping Tom,andwho gets up and bakes a bloody cake? On a Saturday! That’s what Waitrose is for. Silly cow. Silly cow in a stupid primitive county.’
‘This county is one of the most beautiful places in the country – beaches, moors, sunshine, peace and quiet. And not so primitive that it’s prevented you from jumping in my car at the crack of dawn to drop the dog off before I’m settled in!’
Angelina smiled, stood up and pulled Matt into a massive hug.
‘You’re welcome. Besides, who the hell else would put up with me? And for that matter who would have helped you with Scramble? Honestly, he’s a nightmare. I couldn’t keep him any longer. Do you know he chewed one of my Louboutins last night? I’m billing you.’
Matt gave in to the cuddle and grinned at his difficult, pain-in-the-arse baby sister. ‘I’m not paying until I actually see the damage. And stop eyeing that cake with evil intent, it’s mine and you don’t eat cake anyway, you freak. And what do you mean a peeping Tom? I think she’s cute. Do you know that last night she actually stamped her foot at me? I don’t think she even realized she had done it.’
‘Hmmm, I bet she does it all the time. I was standing on the doorstep, waiting and waiting for you to answer, and she was spying on me from her upstairs window. On top of which, people who stamp their feet clearly have emotional issues. Demanding narcissists. You can’t spend time with those sorts of people, it’ll bring you down.’
Matt’s eyes widened and he blinked slowly before speaking. ‘Your lack of self-awareness never fails to amaze me. As for spying? I don’t think so.’
‘My what? Honestly, you talk such rubbish! And what else do you call someone watching someone else? When I saw her, she shot back behind the curtains quicker than a wink and then, get this, had the cheek to come back out again and taunt me. She did.’ Angelina’s head was nodding fast, emphasizing the truth of her statement.
‘She probably heard poor Scramble’s cries for help, desperately calling for rescue from your dastardly clutches. You’re lucky she didn’t come racing out of her house and wallop you with her rolling pin so she could set him free.’ Scramble jumped up high onto Matt’s lap and curled his lip at Angelina in agreement. Matt loved this dog. Angelina remained oblivious.
‘Yeah, I bet she has a rolling pin too, and one of those poncey cake stands, and watchesBake Off.’
