“Okay,” I reply, shoving my hands in my pockets, agreeing to whatever she wants because she means too much to me.
A plethora of emotions cross her face, everything from hurt to shock to anger, but it’s when I see the tears in her eyes, I realize I really fucked this up. I want to kick my own ass for putting those there.
Stepping forward, I take her in my arms. “I’m sorry, just forget I said anything.”
She sniffles and whispers, “Yeah, okay.”
“I’ll head home and let you get some rest.”
She nods and doesn’t say anything, just stands rooted in place.
I press a kiss to her forehead, not wanting to push it by kissing her lips. “I’ll lock up behind me.”
There’s so much emotion swimming in those dark brown eyes, and I know I can’t fix this now. Not after she’s been drinking with the girls most of the night and is buzzed up. Any further conversation needs to happen when we’re both sober and able to talk like adults.
“Good night, beautiful.”
I walk out of her bedroom, praying it’s not the last time I’ll be there. And I’m not talking about the sex, even though that’s pretty fucking amazing. I’m talking about being here, with her.
I glance around the living room before stepping outside, ensuring the door is secured as I go. My feet are heavy as I return to my truck and climb inside. I start the engine and sit there, watching her bedroom window. The light never turns on, so I can only hope she climbs into bed and passes out.
As for me, I pull from her driveway but only make it as far as the road. I stop along the curb and put my truck in park, wishing I had a magic wand to fix this. I shouldn’t have said anything about spending the night, even if I truly wanted to stay. Now, because I tried to potentially take this thing to the next level, I may lose her completely.
See?
Nothing good comes from falling in love.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
Oaklee
I don’t know how long I lie here, but it’s enough that my buzz is gone. In its place is a slightly broken heart that is consuming me.
Why did he want to spend the night?
Man, I wanted that so much. I want him lying beside me more than I want my next breath, but I can’t let it happen and then just magically go back to being friends with benefits. My heart is invested, and if he stayed here, it would only bring heartache. I can’t keep the two separate when he’s in my bed. I can barely tell the difference between friends and what feels like a real relationship at this point.
If I can’t keep a firm line between the two, I’m going to lose him forever, because at the end of the day, he doesn’t want what I do.
I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.
He wants a good time.
When the clock on my phone hits three in the morning, I crawl from bed and use the bathroom. Once I’ve washed my hands, I make my way to the kitchen. I need a glass of water and some ice cream. Flipping on the light, I retrieve a glass first and fill it up from the tap. It doesn’t taste the greatest, but it’s liquid, and I’m dying of thirst.
After draining the glass, I head for the freezer and pull out the carton of mint chocolate chip and a spoon and have a seat at the table. I peel off the lid and dive in, not even caring to be eating straight from the container. No one else lives here, so it’s not like I need to worry about germs or backwash or anything like that.
My mind immediately goes to Cade.
I can picture him sitting across from me, spoon in hand, and scooping out a big bite of the minty chocolatey goodness for himself. He’s got a sweet tooth, even though you wouldn’t know it. His body is hard, his abs pronounced. He’s gorgeous and fit and would still sit right here and eat ice cream in the middle of the night with me.
Just as I scoop a second spoonful out, there’s a knock on the door.
I sit completely still, wondering what I should do. Obviously, I shouldn’t answer the door. It could be anyone at this time of night, and usually that person is up to no good. I set my spoon down, wondering where my phone is.
Shit, I left it plugged in on my nightstand.
