Before I can respond, she leans in and places a soft kiss on my cheek. For a moment, I’m tempted to throw caution to the wind and tell her I’ll go. But the words stick in my throat. “I’ll think about it,” I manage to say, my voice hoarse with emotion. I hadn’t realized how small my world actually is until I thought about leaving it and seeing more. What am I so afraid of?
Paige nods, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
I watch through the window as she makes her way down the street to her car, her blonde hair catching the weak winter sunlight.
The bakery suddenly feels too loud, too crowded. The cheerful chatter of other patrons, the clink of cutlery against plates, the hiss of the espresso machine—it all grates on my nerves. I signal Maggie for the check, needing to escape to find some quiet place to think.
As I wait, my eyes fall on the empty seat across from me. I can still see Paige there, her face alight with excitement as she talked about our potential adventure. The image blurs as unexpected tears prick at my eyes. What am I doing? Why am I letting my fear hold me back? I squeeze my eyes shut to hold them back and swallow. I open them just in time to see Maggie appear.
“Everything alright, sugar?” she asks, her voice gentle.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I pay the bill and leave a generous tip, then hurry out of the diner, desperate for some fresh air to clear my head.
Outside, the cold winter air hits me like a slap. I leave my car and start walking aimlessly, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions. The streets of Benton Falls, decorated for Christmas with twinkling lights and festive wreaths, mock me with their cheer. I make a loop around the town square and end up back at Sweet Escape. I’m not sure where to go. This was the last place Paige and I were together, and I feel like, if I leave it, I’m leaving what we have behind, too.
Maggie looks up as I enter, surprise flickering across her face. “Back so soon, Noah?”
I nod, not meeting her eyes. “Is the corner booth free?”
She gestures towards the back of the dining area. “All yours. Want some coffee?”
“Please,” I say, making my way to the booth. It’s tucked away in a quiet corner, offering a modicum of privacy. I slide in, my back to the wall, and let out a long, shaky breath.
Maggie appears a moment later, setting a steaming mug of coffee in front of me. “You want to talk about it?” she asks, her voice kind.
I shake my head. “Not right now. But thanks.”
She pats my shoulder gently. “Alright. I’m here if you need me.”
As Maggie walks away, I wrap my hands around the warm mug, letting the heat seep into my cold fingers. The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills my nostrils, but even this familiar comfort does little to soothe my troubled mind.
I stare into the dark liquid as if it might hold the answers to the questions swirling in my head. Why am I so afraid of change? Why can’t I embrace this opportunity the way Paige has? And most importantly, what am I going to do?
The thought of Paige traveling to exotic locations without me fills me with an intense longing. I can picture her, camera in hand, her face lit up with wonder as she explores ancient temples and bustling markets. But in these mental images, I’m always by her side, sketchbook in hand, capturing the beauty around us. Or, I’m holding the camera, creating visuals that take the breath away.
But then reality crashes in. The voice of doubt, sounding suspiciously like my father, whispers in my ear.You’re not good enough. You’ll only hold her back. You belong here, in Benton Falls, where it’s safe and predictable.
I close my eyes, trying to shut out the negative thoughts. I wish I had someone to talk to, someone who could help me sort through this mess of emotions. Sam is busy with his own life and girlfriend, and as much as I appreciate Maggie’s kindness, this isn’t something I can discuss with her.
The bell above the door jingles, and I look up out of habit. Blonde hair tousled by the wind, an impossibly cheerful grin on his face, and that inexplicable energy bundles through the door like a whirlwind.
Will.
I groan inwardly. Anyone but him. I get that he wants to be my friend and all, but I don’t have it in me to nurture a new friendship with small talk right now.
Will’s eyes scan the diner and land on me. His grin widens if that’s even possible, and he begins to make his way toward my booth. I brace myself, unsure of what this encounter might bring but certain that my quiet contemplation is about to be thoroughly disrupted.
Fifteen
NOAH
As Will slides into the booth across from me, his ever-present smile dims slightly at my apparent lack of enthusiasm at seeing him right now.
“Hey there, Noah.” Will chirps. “Fancy meeting you here. I was just thinking about you and—“
“Stop,” I interrupt, my voice harsher than I intended. Will’s eyes widen in surprise, but I can’t seem to stop the words from pouring out. “Just stop, Will. I can’t do this right now.”
“Do what?” Will asks, his brow furrowing in confusion. He pulls his arms out to the side in an innocent gesture. “I just sat down.”
