The last customers of the day return their skates, smiles on their faces as they recount their adventures on the ice to Paige, who has a knack for talking to anyone. She makes them all feel important, even though I know she’s anxious to get out of here.
Her stomach keeps growling.
I will not point it out and have been ignoring it completely. But I think it’s cute.
I count out the register while Paige wipes off the counter. She stops at the calendar on my wall. I’ve circled the date of the Christmas Parade in red. She taps the page and then comes to stand by me.
“We’re almost ready for the parade, aren’t we?” Paige says, coming to stand beside me. She’s close enough that I can feel the warmth radiating from her body, and it takes all my willpower not to reach out and pull her closer.
“Yeah,” I agree, my voice softer than I intended. “We have some loose ends to tie up, but we’re close.”
I think about Will’s enthusiastic help this morning, about Paige’s unwavering support, about the way the town has come together to plan this event. And I realize that, despite my parents’ doubts, I’m exactly where I need to be.
As we finish locking up, I pause to look out over the frozen pond. The ice gleams in the fading light, a perfect mirror for the first stars beginning to appear in the darkening sky. It’s a view I’ve seen countless times before, but tonight, with Paige beside me, it feels different. More vibrant. More alive.
“It’s so pretty?” Paige says softly, her shoulder brushing against mine.
“Yeah,” I reply, but I’m not looking at the pond anymore. I’m looking at her, at the way the last rays of sunlight paint her profile in shades of gold and rose. “Gorgeous.”
Paige turns, catching me staring. She leans into me, and I kiss her softly. “Can I... can I walk you to your car?” It’s cold out here, and she’s already shivering.
Paige smiles, and the warmth in her eyes chases away some of the evening chill. “I’d like that.”
As we make our way across the park, our breaths form little clouds in the frigid air. I reach out and brush a snowflake from her cheek. “Meet me at the bakery? They’re serving pizza rolls tonight.”
“I’ll be there.” My ride to the baker is quiet, and I’m back in that contemplative state I started the day with—only now I have ten times as much to ponder.
I’m content-ish in life. I do enjoy the ice rink, and what Paige said about being a part of people’s Christmas traditions gives it meaning. I’ve enjoyed the parade planning, too—although that may have more to do with Paige’s partnership than anything. I think I’d walk to the moon for her and enjoy every step.
I can’t avoid the fact that the only thing that truly feeds my soul is drawing.
Paige found a way to turn her passion into her career, and if I stop caring about what my parents think of me and start living the life God created me to live, then …
I’m not even sure I can picture that kind of life or that level of happiness. I think I’ve been so scared to allow myself to even believe that all that was out there in the world—let alone that it was there for me—that I convinced myself it wasn’t possible.
What does that do to a soul? What has it done to me?
It’s limited me. And, if Paige and Will are right about my art being a way for God to express Himself through me, then I’ve limited God, too.
What if I let Him loose and give Him free rein?
Oh my gosh—that’s a little terrifying. Isn’t it? I don’t feel terrified. I’m excited.
I think I will. I will let God loose in my art and see what happens.
I pull into a parking spot. The smell of pizza rolls—made like a cinnamon roll but with pizza toppings and red sauce instead of cinnamon and sugar—fills my car. I turn it off and hop out, ready to spend the evening with a beautiful woman who—for some reason—thinks I’m amazing.
Maybe God had something to do with that, too.
Fourteen
NOAH
Paige joins me on the sidewalk, and I pull her in for a quick kiss. She grins up at me and winks. Her hand is warm in mine as she leads me to our favorite booth, her excitement palpable. “You won’t believe the phone call I got on the way over here.” She takes off her gloves and sets them aside. “Also, I changed my mind about a pizza roll.”
I shuck my coat before sitting across from her. The familiar scents of coffee, cinnamon, and freshly baked pie envelop us in a comforting embrace. I don’t know if I could live closer to the bakery. Sam would add fifty pushups to our routine if I ate this many carbs. Not that we’re big on counting carbs. Well, I’m not. I think Sam is, though. He drinks protein shakes and things like that, too. That would explain why he can bench more than me. Maybe I should try them for a week.
I settle in across from her, trying to match her enthusiasm. I want to be there for her, just like she’s been there for me. I want to share every success and failure. I want a life with her. The thought is stunning, and—despite how much overthinking I’ve done today—I don’t pause to dwell on it.
