“And dancing,” she added. The familiarity that came so easily between them reached for her. She resisted. She couldn’t fall back into him, not when he didn’t want her. She needed to keep him back, to stay far away from that place where her heart belonged to him. She narrowed her eyes. “Besides, you’re the one who left me alone on the football field at graduation, Jacob.”
The night that should have been the start of their love story. Instead, it was the–no! She forced herself to think of the humiliation, the anger that had kept her going and spurred her on to a bigger, better life. “I don’t want to talk about this.” She checked three random boxes on the paper and headed for the collection box.
He dogged her heels. “I’m not afraid of you–or the past.”
“Good. Then you admit you were wrong.” Her face was fiery, and her toes pinched.
“I admit I was young and–.”
A strangled sound escaped her throat, cutting him off. She stopped next to a large house with a sledding hill made of frosting in the backyard. “You might have been too young to know what love is, Jacob Morris, but I knew my heart.” She cut off, feeling vulnerable and exposed for saying that much.
Jacob stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. “Lauren,” he breathed her name as he reached for her.
How many times had she dreamed of him saying her name like that? “Don’t.” She held up a hand. “Don’t come any closer to me.”
He smiled ruefully. “Why? You afraid you’ll be overcome by my rugged manliness?” he quoted one of the romance novels she’d read in high school. She was late getting home, and he picked it up off the side table and began reading. When she got back, he’d teased her endlessly while tickling her. She’d been so happy just to be close to him that day, to laugh with him. It was the kind of life she wanted to live, and she’d thought he was the one who could give it to her.
She didn’t laugh like that with Foster. They were sophisticated and properly behaved adults who didn’t have tickle fights.
She wanted tickle fights in her love life. Nutcrackers! She was perfectly happy with Foster and their relationship until Jacob brought that up. Darn him.
She growled. “You over-inflated–.”
“Aww, tell me how you really feel.” He stepped closer, invading her space and making her thoughts scramble.
She hated he had this effect on her. “Don’t push me, Jacob,” she warned him.
“Push you? Lauren, pushing you is the last thing I want to do right now.” His eyes dipped to her lips, and her mouth went dry. Holy holly sprigs! Jacob Morris was going to kiss her.
“Don’t,” she managed to get past her parched lips. Lips that were dying to drink from his. Oh, how she’d fooled herself into thinking she was over him–that she’d mastered her thoughts and overcome the past. All the feelings, all the desires, all the daydreams where Jacob was her prince who swept her off her feet rushed off the shelves where she’d tucked them away. Her heart sped up, and her chest warmed. She didn’t have butterflies in her stomach; she had blue birds with wings that flapped frantically.
Her hand found the edge of the display and landed on something soft.
He leaned in, aiming for her lips. “Kiss me and then tell me you want me to go away.” He closed his eyes as he leaned in.
Panicked–because she knew–she just knew with every part of her that if she kissed him, she would NEVER be able to recover. There would be no putting her heart back together. There would be no pretending that she was happy with someone else. There would be no someone else. If their lips touched, it was Jacob or nothing.
Lauren reacted out of a deep sense of survival. She grabbed a handful of the sledding hill, made from the thickets buttercream frosting on the planet, and smeared it across Jacob’s cheek. His eyes flew open in shock. She ducked under his arm and ran out of the room and out of the building.
How dare he laugh at her!
She shook the extra frosting off her hand and then licked her thumb. The sugar flavor exploded in her mouth and brought her into this moment instead of the last one where she’d almost let Jacob kiss her.
“Oaf!” Lauren bounced off the sidewalk Santa. “Sorry.” She looked into a pair of blue eyes. “Sorry,” she repeated.
“You’re in a hurry.” He smiled easily. “Big plans?”
“No.” She suddenly remembered Foster and Christmas and all that entailed. “Yes. Actually.”
Santa grabbed his belly and chuckled. “Do you have time to make a Christmas wish?”
She bit her lip as her mind spun. At one point, she’d thought she and Jacob were meant to be together. Foster waited at home for her, and he could be the one. But what if the man of her dreams was still out there and she hadn’t found him yet?
“I want to find my soulmate and be with him forever.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I don’t suppose you have that in your sack?” She motioned to the empty bag slung over his shoulder.
“You never know.” He smiled softly and touched her arm. “Merry Christmas.”
A whoosh of icy wind blew right up her sleeve, and Lauren shivered. Santa’s eyes twinkled. Lauren’s mind blanked out for a second and then started up again. “Merry Christmas,” she replied.
