Several Christmases ago, she and Jacob talked about living without regrets. If she started digging into this crazy magic, it could unravel. Was that what she wanted?
Jacob came up behind her, reached around and placed a mug on the island. “Five marshmallows, just the way you like it.”
Lauren shoved aside her worries. How many women out there would kill to spend eternity with the man of their dreams on Christmas? And here she was, borrowing worry when she didn’t need to.
She may wake up in a coma and realize this was all a dream.
She could die in a freak sledding accident.
Or, she could ride this out and grab onto every second of happiness available. She picked up the mug and took a sip. Spinning around, she let her eyes drift over Jacob and then stray to the cabinetry. “You’ve done an amazing job. This is Pinterest worthy.”
He chuckled as he drank from his mug. “Is that a compliment?”
She guffawed. “The highest.”
His lips twitched.
She sipped. “Can I confess something?”
He nodded.
“I was so jealous that you can do this stuff.”
“What stuff?” He touched her arm as if checking to see if she was real. She was in this moment like she hadn’t been in any other. It meant the world to her to be in his home.
“Build. This.” She swept her hand out. “I’m a disaster with a nail gun, and don’t even get me close to wood glue.”
His eyebrows went up.
“I can appreciate it, though. You’re amazing, Jacob. I hope you know that.” She laid her hand on his chest and could feel his heart, steady and strong, beating away. “I watch YouTube videos on woodworking all the time, and I imagine they’re you.” Her face heated with the admission. “It’s dumb, isn’t it? I missed you so much.”
He set his cup down and then hers. “It’s not dumb. I missed you too.” He kissed her nose. “Is it too soon to say I love you?”
Her eyes seemed to freeze open. She couldn’t blink to save her life.
“I think I always have,” he continued. “I don’t remember a time when you weren’t around, but that was how it was supposed to be.”
She laid her head on his chest. “I know what you mean. It was like our souls weren’t meant to be apart.”
“My mom said I cried for the first three months of life,” he told her.
She did the mental math. “You’re three months older than me.”
“I know. My soul missed you.” He kissed her hair.
She drew in a breath. “Jacob, you’re saying all the right things.”
He began rocking slowly, turning them in the kitchen. “Do you remember that music video we made?”
She buried her face in his hoodie. “Shoot me now.” They were sophomores in high school and taking a video editing class. As a project, they’d made a music video that was horrible. “That was the worst.”
He started humming the chorus to Better Together by Luke Combs. She swayed with him, feeling content for the first time in a long time. Perhaps they weren’t meant to ever be apart. Perhaps this was how it was supposed to be, and forever Christmas was part of the deal. Had she died and gone to heaven? If so, it was perfect.
Later that evening, after a long goodbye in the cold air, she let herself into the house. Ethan stumbled out of the front room, his hair disheveled and his clothes rumpled.
“Did you fall asleep on the couch?” She mused his hair.Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeerwas playing on the television. The old clay animation one her nephew loved. Collin must be out like a light, too.
Ethan grumbled, scraping his hand down his face and blinking in an effort to wake up. “Where’ve you been?”
