“I like cupcakes,” he mumbled, not ready to admit to more than enjoying baked goods.
“Not that much.”
Cliff rubbed his cold lips together as he thought back to that day. Diana had just moved in and her heater wouldn’t turn on. She’d run to her car, blowing on her hands to keep them warm. He’d overheard her call the super, who’d said he couldn’t get there until the next day. He debated for a half hour before offering his help. He couldn’t let her freeze for a night. That was inhumane. But she was beautiful. Even then, he’d noticed the way she lit up his world. The next day, she showed up with these cupcakes that sparkled like snow and tasted like someone cared, and he knew she was trouble.
Asher continued. “So if you liked her back then and your feelings are stronger now … what does that mean you’re leaning toward?”
He clamped a fist over the thoughts growing in his head. “Do not say the L-word.”
“I wasn’t going to say it.”
Cliff pictured Asher with both his hands up in the air, feigning innocence.
“Can I give you my clinical advice?”
Clinical was good. Clinical meant no feelings involved. He needed to get his feelings out of this whole situation, because it was his feelings that muddied the waters. “Maybe? It depends on how good it is.”
There was a beat where Asher acknowledged with his silence that Cliff had made a joke. “When someone comes in with a head cold, we tell them to wait a couple days. It will either get worse or clear up. Dumping antibiotics on a virus accomplishes nothing and can even lead to an immunity to them. So we advise the patient to ride it out.”
“You think I have a head cold for Diana?”
“In a manner of speaking. You two are in an incubator—close, warm holiday quarters with a lot of expectations. Enjoy the experience, the feelings, knowing that they could clear up once you’re back home.”
Cliff nodded even though Asher couldn’t see it. His nod slowly moved to a shake. “I don’t know if I can be that open.” Although it was easy to sit next to her and to kiss her head, the sense that he was on a sledding hill gaining speed had forced him out of the house.
“Think of it as practice. If she doesn’t know it’s real to you, you can hold back but still go through the motions.”
“I guess.”
A woman’s voice came through the line, sounding like she was reminding Asher he had a patient waiting.
“I’ll let you go,” Cliff offered.
“I’ll call you on my lunch tomorrow.”
“I’ll answer. Asher—” He had to say something. “Thanks for sticking with me even when I was a jerk.”
“So, like, your whole life?”
“Shut up.” Cliff grinned. He might not have a mansion full of relatives, but the ones he had were pretty great. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
They hung up, and Cliff started back to the house. Asher was right. This swirling of emotions inside of him could be fabricated by the situation. Dropping himself into a family unit, acting the part of an interested boyfriend/undercover fiancé, holding a woman close for the first time in ages … it all added up to create feelings that could possibly, maybe fade with the holiday lights. The only one way to figure out if what he felt for Diana was real or a Christmas mirage was to throw himself into the thick of it and hope it didn’t evaporate on contact.
Chapter 13
Diana
“Christmas Eve was meant for cookie decorating,” said Celine.
Diana added a fluffy white beard to the Santa-shaped sugar cookie in front of her. She was at the “professionals” table with her mom, her aunt, Celine, Sadie, and Layla. They were in charge of decorating the cookies that would be served after the Mistletoe Mile as friends from the community gathered to sing carols of Christ’s birth in the restored barn out back. In the spring and summer, the barn and house were rented out for weddings, but Diana always liked it best at Christmas. Green wreaths with red bows were hung from exposed timber, and garlands draped with fairy lights graced the entrance. It felt like the whole town showed up for their devotional and Mom always wanted the cookies to be top notch.
The other tables were crowded with children decorating a special treat for Santa. Besides sugar cookies, there were ginger snaps and pinwheels.
Sadie snatched a ginger bell and outlined it in white, adding sugar sprinkles. “I’m still confused about how you and Cliff ended up together.”
Diana’s hands trembled and the beard took a wrong turn. She concentrated on making the next swoop to cover the mistake. “What do you mean?”
