“You don’t trust Ben?”
“I do, just not as much as I did Luke.”
“But that’s not fair.” Claire turned away from her screen, dropping all pretenses of actually working. “You knew Luke before you could walk. Of course you trusted him more. You cut off Ben before he had a chance to prove himself.”
She rubbed her arms, trying to ward off the chill that had leapt out and grabbed on to her. “I’m done talking.” She had to stop now. Her resolve wasn’t that strong. She wanted Ben more than she’d wanted anything. The last time she remembered wanting something this much, it was the desire to become a mother.
Savannah, Margo, and Sophie marched into the office. Avery smiled at the sight of the three of them in their school uniforms with matching ponytails and wide grins. Best of all was Savannah’s straight back and level gaze. She wasn’t staring at the carpet anymore. What a difference a friend—or in this case, two friends—had made.
Avery barely managed to hold back her desire to hug Savannah tight and tell her how proud she was of her. “Hello there. What are you girls up to?”
Avery glanced first at Margo and then Sophie before stepping forward as their official spokeswoman. “We made you a thank-you card in Art.” She held out the piece of paper that had been folded in half to make the card.
Avery accepted it with a wink. The front saidThank You for the Fun.When she opened the card, Avery’s eyes blurred. The girls had drawn the five of them with different-colored face masks, Avery with a pink one and Ben with blue. She wrapped the girls in a group hug. “Thank you so much. I love it.”
They exchanged grins before heading for the door. At the last second, Savannah ran back and threw her arms around Avery’s neck, giving her the hug Avery had craved. “Thank you for making me friends.”
Avery clung to her little frame, soaking her in. “Your smile did all the work.”
Savannah hurried to catch up with Sophie and Margo.
Avery leaned back and wiped the moisture from under her eyes. “Oh, she gets to me.”
“That girl needs a mama.” Claire lowered her chin and pinned Avery to her chair with a look.
A fresh wave of tears came. “I could have been a great mama for her.”
Claire passed a tissue box over the filing cabinet. “You should go for it.”
“You don’t understand. I had true love. You don’t get two shots at it—that wouldn’t be fair.”
“Fair? Who said life is fair?” Claire snatched the box away. “You’re not going to love Ben the same way you loved Luke, because Benisn’tLuke. But guess what? You’re not the same Avery who married Luke. The first day you came into this office, you were a shell of a human, so lost in your grief that packing a lunch was difficult.”
Avery nodded. She remembered those days, the feeling of being half a person.
“But that’s not you anymore. You’re bolder. You’ve grown. You’re stronger. That’s the woman Ben fell in love with, and you’re the one he wants. Give yourself permission to be happy.”
Avery balled the tissue in her palm. Give herself permission? Was that a thing? Did she really have to do that? She thought about Evelyn, about the times she could have let herself love again and chose not to. That was the key: shechosenot to fall in love. People said you couldn’t help who you fell in love with? Well, those people had never met Evelyn.
But just because she and Evelyn had lost the same person didn’t mean they had tobethe same person. She’d looked to Evelyn for strength for so long, relied on her to understand, to coax her through, that Avery hadn’t even considered that Evelyn would give her crappy advice.
Shoot. That wasn’t very nice. She loved Evelyn. Evelyn had been the best mother-in-law on the planet. And you couldn’t find a more devoted grandmother.
“Ask yourself this,” Claire continued. “Would Ben make you happy?”
Avery didn’t have to think twice. The sound of her own laughter echoed in her ears. “Yes.”
“Then why would it be bad even if it’s different?”
It wasn’t. “But what if it doesn’t last?” She sniffed, eyeing the box of tissues Claire held out of her reach. “What if I go for it and not only my heart is shattered, but Landon’s?”
“Landon is a great kid. He’s strong. He smiles and laughs and gets good grades, and not once have I ever heard him pity himself for losing his dad. Give him some credit.”
Avery pressed her fist into her chest. “Hit me where it hurts, why don’t ya?”
Claire held out the tissue box as a peace offering. “I’m just trying to get you to see the situation clearly.”
Avery jumped up. She reached across the filing cabinet and hugged Claire. “I’ve got to go talk to Landon.”
