“I won’t give them your name. They’re mostly going to ask things about getting over Amy’s death and movingforward.”
Cedar scrubbed at the counter. “I still don’t likeit.”
“There’s not much I can do about it.” He sighed again. “So is this your official notice? Do I need to hire a new nanny on myown?”
Cedar cursed under her breath. “I scheduled two interviews for Wednesday. I just forgot to tell you. I-I’m not sure what’s going to happen after the meeting. I can change the times if you need meto.”
“I’ll rearrange some things and make it work.” The finality in his tone was not right. Teo was warmth and sugar and hot kisses. This stoic man was part stranger. And she didn’t like that he had appeared in theirlives.
Cedar would have done the interviews, but Teo wanted to be there. Of course he wanted to be there; he was Akoni’s father. And what was she? Right now she felt like a nanny on her way out the door, not like the girlfriend and partnering caregiver he’d treated her asbefore.
She felt like a huge jerk for dropping this on him. When she’d taken the job as his nanny, they hadn’t planned on her falling for him or Akoni. The whole thing snuck up on her and sucked her in without a consciousthought.
She should really take a minute and think about where she wanted to be in a year. Did she want to be trading off a kid with Teo? Was she ready to make a commitment to the two of them? There was no way to love one and not theother.
A husband and kids were on her list of life goals. They were one of the top priorities. Getting everything she wanted in life, the chance to build her own business and a hot guy and a darling little baby, was overwhelming. She wanted it all—she just wasn’t sure she wanted it allnow. A family was a big commitment. They came withresponsibilities.
She glanced down at herFriday the 13thwardrobe. She was holding her life together by loose strings, how could she consider taking on more—even if they were the best parts of herlife.
“Cedar?”
She could see Teo in her mind. He was probably running his square fingers along the edge of the countertop. She could even tell by the slight echo over the line that he was in the kitchen. She smiled toherself.
The fact that she knew him well enough to smile at the thought of him told her that her heart may not have waited for her head to decideanything.
“S’mores,” she blurted. “Let’s do s’mores after my meeting on Monday—tocelebrate.”
There was only a short pause as Teo adjusted to the new conversational direction. “Sounds like a plan. We’ll be here and have a firegoing.”
“I’ll bring thegoodies.”
“It’s adate.”
She cradled the phone. “I can’twait.”
Chapter 21
Teo wanderedaround the back yard, picking up toys and sweeping sand off the patio and into the beach. The house, his refuge, was too quiet. Akoni had finally cut his tooth and was back to his quiet, studiousself.
As much as Teo enjoyed the time with his son, he’d missed talking to a grown-up. And not just any grown-up: he missed Cedar. She filled a hole in his life and his heart that he didn’t think would or even could ever be filled. When they’d first kissed, the world seemed justright.
They could spend the whole day at home together and not fight. Not once. He wasn’t dumb enough to believe that a couple would never have a disagreement. Heck, they’d had one the day she cancelled going to the zoo. If you could even call it a disagreement. They hadn’t yelled and there was no name-calling—not that he was prone to either behavior. They just sort of stumbled through the hurt feelings. He wasn’t sure they’d solved anything in their stumbling. At some point, they’d have to have a conversation about what they wanted out of all this. Five weeks of dating wasn’t usually the point in the relationship where a deep conversation needed to take place, but they were facing some major changes, and he needed to be focused for the season. Relationship drama was the number one distraction for a football player. The team was counting on him to be on his game, and he needed to figure thisout.
That’s why tonight was the night he was going to tell Cedar he loved her. They had the evening to themselves. They had the firelight. The setting was romantic and intimate. He’d showered and shaved and ironed his button-up plaid shirt for the occasion. It wasn’t every day a man said those big words to the woman he wasdating.
With the back yard in shape, he started the fire. It was still warm enough to roast a turkey on the sidewalk, but the shade tarps had kept the sun off the beach. The sand was warm but not too hot on his feet. He must be getting used to living in Texas if he looked forward to a fire on a summer day. Or perhaps he was looking forward to holding Cedar and having her all to himself. He needed a night of the two of them, whispering while they cozied up together in a loungechair.
When he was satisfied with the yard, he took Akoni inside. His son was red-faced, so Teo gave him some water to help cool him off and wiped his face with a coldcloth.
He checked the clock. Seven-thirty-three. Cedar had the code to get in through the door, so he decided to start Akoni’s bedtime routine. At eight-fifteen, he went out to the fire to wait for her. Really, she should be here by now. Worried, but not wanting to appear needy, he sent a picture of the low-burning fire and a text that said,Ready for somethingsweet.
She replied with a smiley face emoji without anywords.
Hmm. Teo slipped his phone in his pocket and folded his arms to keep his hands from shaking. She could bedriving.
At nine-thirty he called, assuming she was on her way and would answer. It went to voicemail. He followed up with a text—Things must be going well—and the sameemoji.
He wasn’t sure what time it was when he fell asleep in the lounge chair, but his last thought was that his arms were empty and cold, and he hadn’t been able to sayI loveyou.
