Best sound in theworld.
She backed up, and Akoni looked for more clothes to put away. They were having such a good time, and it was hard to stay on the sidelines. “Can I play?” Teoasked.
Cedar’s head popped up and her cheeks turned rosy. “I am not blowing raspberries on your neck—no matter how many shirts you pickup.”
Teo laughed so hard he had to tip his head back to let it all out. The laughter cleansed him—oddly enough. It broke through the hard shell around his heart and his thoughts. Euphoria lifted him up even as he got down on his knees and pointed at a football for Akoni. “I’ll do toys; you doclothes.”
“Oh.” Cedar bit her lip. “Sorry if that came outbratty.”
“You’re fine.” He waved off her concern, just happy to be part of their little game. Happy to feel happy again. He hadn’t thought about laughing, or laughter, or the lack of it in his life until he’d felt the surprising joy Cedar’s comment brought tohim.
Akoni raced to put the football in the basket, and Teo hooked him around the belly with one hand and a roar. Akoni squealed and squirmed until Teo put him in front of the toy box and pointed. “Footballs go inhere.”
Akoni looked to Cedar forconfirmation.
“You can do it.” She clapped her hands and smiled big, her whole face animating with encouragement. Teo had to look away to regain his breath—she was stunning when she really smiled. There was something in her eyes that was wholesome and sweet and innocent and that caused a protective instinct to come to life inside ofhim.
Akoni slowly moved his arm so that the ball was over the toy box. His gaze went back and forth between the two of them, clearly confused that they were changing therules.
Teo waited, grinning and nodding like a fool. He didn’t care. He’d be a fool every day for his kid. Finally, Akoni dropped the ball and Teo commenced the tickling. It took several tries before Akoni realized Teo and Cedar were playing and which box or basket they supervised, but he got it before the floor wasclean.
“He’s a smart kid.” Cedar sat down and stretched her legs out in front of her. She leaned back against the sky blue wall and crossed her ankles. The room was decorated in a Noah’s Ark theme with pictures of animals framed on the walls and soft blankets in blues andgreens.
“He sure is,” repliedTeo.
Akoni crawled onto her lap and leaned his head on her chest. He was already at home in her arms. Of course, he’d spent a lot of time there the last few days. Teo could understand why the kid wanted to be held when he was worn out—especially held by Cedar. She rubbed circles on his back and ran her hands through his hair in soothing brushes. Her whole being was one big comfort, and Akoni needed that. Teo wished she’d reconsider the two-month time limit and stay longer. A first day of preschool, though exciting, was a big moment in a kid’s life, and he’d want to snuggle up and talk about it. Teo could do that, but Cedar was different than he was—softer, gentler,quieter.
Teo fought the desire to settle in next to the two of them and put his arm around Cedar. Instead, he leaned against the mahogany crib. “He already prefersyou.”
Cedar’s smile was gentle. “Nuh-uh. He’s a daddy’s boy through and through. He looks just like you.” She traced a finger over Akoni’s dimple and his eyes flutteredshut.
“He’s in heaven.” Teo looked down at his giant, rough hands. He had strength enough to protect his son, but Cedar’s strength, though different, was no lessobvious.
Cedar laughed quietly. “Stop being so insecure. The one and only word he knows isDad. I tried, but he wouldn’t even attemptCece.”
Teo puffed with pride. His son did call him Dad. Amy had kept Akoni so close Teo could count on his fingers the number of times he’d held his son in his first six months oflife.
Cedar knocked his foot with hers. “You’re here, but your thoughts are in the lockerroom.”
He snorted at heranalogy.
“Where’d yougo?”
Teo considered not telling her, brushing it all aside. He would have if there wasn’t this feeling that he could trust her—not just with Akoni, but with the broken parts of himself. “Amy was scared that I’d break him.” He nodded to Akoni who was drifting closer and closer to his morning nap. “She thought I didn’t know my own strength. I didn’t really get to hold him until after she died.” He gulped as the familiar guilt swept over him. Dropping his voice low, he asked, “Is it wrong for me to be glad she’s not here to keep me away fromhim?”
Getting the words out was hard enough, but lifting his gaze off the floor to see Cedar’s reaction was darn near impossible. He was so sure that he’d see scorn or horror as she realized what a horrible person he really was. When he finally had the courage to face her, he was knocked in the chest by the compassion sheoffered.
“You’re a wonderful father,Teo.”
Just a few simple words, spoken sincerely, flooded him with relief. How he’d longed for confirmation that he wasn’t screwing this all up. And Cedar handed it to him—a gift from her heart. He took the gift, held it securely in his heart, and let it feed his woundedsoul.
“Sooo … Cece?” Teoasked.
“It’s what my little brother called me before he could say Cedar.” She shrugged. “Do you have a nickname forAkoni?”
Teo shook hishead.
“Do you mind if I use one—sometimes? Nicknames were kind of thing at camp. Everyone had nicknames. There’s kids that went home at the end of the summer, and I had no idea what their real name was. I saw one the other day and called outDr. Pepper!He turned around and yelledCherry Coke!We talked for twenty minutes and didn’t use our given namesonce.”
