It was what both clans needed. “I can give ye a life of comfort Ida. If, if ye wish for yer uncle tae join us, I will see that it happens.” He knew that she was protective of the old man and he wasn’t about to separate them.
“I, I see,” Ida said, ducking under his arm and putting some distance between them. “Ye came all that way tae tell mah that?”
Ian frowned at her response. He thought that she would jump at the chance of peace for both of their clans. Did she, did she not like him? He thought they had found some common ground between them, that she could see past what clan he belonged in, that it didn’t matter to her.
Had he read her all wrong? “Partly aye,” he admitted slowly. “I have also requested another meeting with Laird MacGregor as well. I willna leave until an alliance is signed.”
She bit her lower lip and Ian felt a small stirring of unease at her sudden need to get away from him. “I… we should go back,” she finally said. “The rain. Tis coming down harder and the moors can be difficult tae maneuver in the dark.”
It wasn’t what Ian had hoped to hear from her lips. He had imagined the moment when she would agree to be his wife and they would have their first kiss. Ian had longed for the taste of her lips against his.
Yet she was fumbling with her saddle, swinging her leg upward and seating herself on top of her horse, clearly impatient to get back to the stables.
What had he done wrong? What had he said that had her reacting in such a manner?
The questions swirled around him as he climbed onto his horse, following Ida out of the grove of trees and back into the driving rain. This time there was no racing between us, both falling silent as they made their way back to the keep, which could be barely seen in the sheets of rain that fell around them. Ian tried and failed to find the words to bring it up again, instead falling into a brooding silence himself.
Whatever he had done, Ian knew he had to fix it and fast or he might have just lost the one person that believed in him above all else.
14
In all her days, Ida had never felt as lost as she had right at this moment. The rain fell around her but she barely noticed it, her own heart locked in coldness and regret. How many times had she imagined Ian asking for her hand in marriage, scoffing in her own dreams and deciding that it would never happen?
Well, it had, but his reasoning was all wrong and it hurt.
For once, Ida was grateful for the rain and Ian’s silence, not wanting to relive the pain all over again. She had yet to give him an answer and she could see the bewilderment on his face the moment she had suggested they go back to the stables. He would be asking for her answer, and heaven help her, Ida was torn. On one hand, if she said yes, she could be his wife. She could help him secure the peace he longed for and give her uncle another life away from his former clan.
On the other hand, she would be marrying for the very reason she had fought against.
She wanted love.
She wanted affection.
She wanted a husband who adored her, who she could laugh with, whisper with, grow old with. Now Ian was all those thingsor at least he could be, but he clearly was not looking for those things in his marriage.
He wanted a partner, nothing more.
Sucking in a tortured breath, Ida pulled her horse to a stop and climbed off, leading the soaking-wet mare into the warm stable. Ian followed her but said nothing as she started to remove her saddle and wet blanket, rubbing down Cotton’s body with a dry rag.
“Ida.”
Ida stilled at the sound of his voice, panic like no other settling in her chest. She could order him out, but he would only come back and that wouldn’t solve anything for her.
So she lifted her head, meeting his gaze. “Wot?”
“Ye didna answer mah question.”
“Oh,” she said innocently, her tongue suddenly too thick in her mouth. “I had forgotten.”
Ian looked as if he didn’t believe her for one moment and Ida wasn’t so sure she believed herself. He moved toward her and Ida backed up until she couldn’t any longer, feeling the rough wood against her back and poking her through her coat. “Donna be afraid Ida,” Ian was saying, his gaze softening. “Tis wot we both want.”
“I’m not afraid,” she forced out, nearly choking on the last word. “Ye donna frighten mah.”
The corner of his lips tipped up into a small smile. “Tis good tae know lass.” His hand reached out and cupped her cheek. “Tell mah why ye donna wish tae wed mah then?”
Ida’s skin warmed under his touch, shivering as his thumb brushed over her cheekbone. It was a simple touch, but something she had never experienced before and her lips parted, a breath escaping her lungs. “I, I donna wish tae wed for political gain.” There, she had said it, what was in her heart. She didn’t want to marry him if that was all that he wished for from her.
She deserved more.
