As she perched down on the bench by the pond that Archie had taken her to, she found her mind twisting back in thedirection of the man she had given herself to the night before. She had thought that, when they came together in that way, it would lower whatever walls he had left up between them, giving her the space, at last, to draw him close to her. Though she had entered into this marriage as a way to escape from her father’s plans for her, if she could find real connection in it, she would welcome it with open arms. How could she not?
And how could he, with such ease, walk away from her after they had shared that sacred moment? Had she done something wrong? She’d never experienced such a thing in her life before, and she couldn’t help but wonder if, perhaps, she had made some kind of mistake, shown her inexperience in some way he couldn’t stand. But as she went back over the encounter in her mind, she could see no instant that it had fallen apart. They had been together, moving with each other, so close that it felt as though nothing could have pulled them apart, and then…
Then, he was gone. She sighed as she stared down into the pool of gray-blue water before her, and kicked a small rock beside her into it, watching the ripples spread out from where it broke the surface. That, she pondered, was how she felt about what Kiernan had done to her. She had started out smooth and safe and peaceful, and then, he had burst into her life and cast ripples across every inch of it. Unlike the water, she knew she would never go back to a perfect stillness again.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her, and she glanced over, praying that it was Kiernan coming to explain himself. Instead, she found Archibald making his way towards her, a slight furrow in his brow, as though he could not parse what she would be doing out here.
“Good morning, my lady,” he greeted her, and she gestured for him to join her on the bench. Perhaps it would do her good to have some kind of company, though she knew that Archie would likely report back everything she had to say to his master.
“Good morning,” she sighed as he joined her. He paused for a moment, silent, and glanced around.
“Forgive me for prying, lady Mary,” he remarked. “But I don’t see yer husband anywhere.”
“Good,” she muttered before she could stop herself. Silently, she cursed herself for her brazenness, wishing she could take it back at once, though she knew there was no way she could.
Archie let out a slight snort, clearly surprised by how open she was being.
“Did something happen between you and the Laird?” he asked her quietly. She hesitated for a moment. Could she really trust someone who served him with the deep well of emotion that she held inside of her at that moment? But then, she remembered Archie’s kindness before, how he had shown her this place, and told her a little of the way things had been before. Nobody else had offered her such kindness, and she supposed that she’d find nobody better to answer her questions.
“I…”
She trailed off, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Could she tell him that she and the Laird had been together the night before? That they had shared an intimacy she had never imagined possible? She glanced over at him, to find him studying her with a genuine curiosity, and it struck her that he might already know something was wrong.
“Some of the lady’s maids saw him emerging from your quarters late last night,” he murmured, lowering his voice and leaning a little closer to her. “Perhaps… perhaps the two of you…?”
She felt a lump rise in her throat and swallowed down on it hard. She hated how easy it seemed to be to read what had happened between them. She had hoped that moment would stay between the two of them, but, by the sound of it, it wasalready the talk of the whole Keep. She nodded, just once, drawing her gaze away from him.
“It was… it was the first time since we were married,” she confessed to him. He grimaced slightly and nodded.
“Aye, that was what I was worried about.”
She turned to him, surprised.
“You were worried that Kiernan and I…?”
He sighed, and ran a hand through his thinning hair, clearly wondering if he should even say what was on his mind. She stared at him, willing him to come clean, no matter how difficult it might have been. She was utterly lost, and anything she could cling on to that would help make the slightest bit of sense out of what happened, she would cling to it with all her might.
“I… I supposed that he might have waited some time before the two of you took your marital rites,” he explained, speaking carefully, as though fearful that he might say more than he meant to.
“But why?” she asked him, her voice cracking slightly. She cursed herself for being so emotional. She wished she could contain the sting of what he had done, but it rose to the surface with every breath.
“Now, I’m no’ the man to ask about this,” he warned her. “Kiernan’s the only one who can tell ye the truth of his intentions. But I wondered, when I heard news that he had married part of the Aitken clan, if there was… more to it than pure love, let’s say.”
Her heart dropped. She supposed she had no right to cast aspersions on what his reasons might have been for choosing to marry her, given that her own had been to escape a wedding to a man of her father’s choosing. But had they not moved past that in the time she had been here? Had she not proved herself a worthy wife? Had she not been enough for him?
She rose to her feet, and Archie’s face creased with concern.
“Where are ye going in such a hurry, lass?”
“To talk to Kiernan,” she replied, her voice dripping with venom. “You’re right. If I want to find out what he thinks, I need to ask him myself.”
She stalked back towards the Keep, her head rushing and her heart pounding. She knew little of what she was planning to say to him, just that she knew she needed to say it. She had to hear it from him. If what Archie had told her was true, if he was just using her, then she deserved to know it. She could hardly back out of the marriage now, but at least she could save herself further humiliation in the form of pining after him the way she had been.
Passing by his quarters, Mary made her way to his study, sure that was where he would be hiding out. Sure enough, when she pushed open the door, she found him behind his desk. He frowned when he saw her striding in, but rolled his shoulders back and rose to his feet, as though prepared for whatever conflict she intended to throw at him.
“What do ye want, lass?”
“I want you to explain to me why you did what you did last night.”
