“And a dozen things that could gae right. Ian told ye tae dance with me, sae ye hae tae follow me,” Lucy said, making her way through the crowd towards the dancing, laughing girl. Rory glared at her, but he was a lad of duty and was not about to let Lucy out of her sight. He begrudgingly allowed himself to be led through the crowd, shaking his head and Lucy, trying to get her to relent. Lucy was not about to let him become a victim of his own fear, however, and when she came into close proximity with the dancing girl, she took Rory’s hand and twirled around him, before gently nudging him off balance so that he pushed into the girl and was forced to apologize, which thus began a dialogue between them.
Lucy was admiring the fruits of her labor, for the girl immediately took a liking to Rory and kissed him on the cheek, which made him blush.
“I see ye hae gotten Rory intae trouble,” Ian said, sliding his arm around Lucy’s waist as he returned. A smile broke out upon her face like radiant dawn at hir return, and she enjoyed the feeling of his strong arm around her body. It felt as though it was meant to be there, as though she was incomplete when she was away from him.
“Well, every man needs a wee bit of trouble in his life,” she replied, her words riding a laugh.
“I’ll toast tae that,” Ian said, and clinked their cups together as they drank some whiskey. He then said that he wasn’t going to interrupt Rory while he was making a new friend, so they had an extra glass to share. They passed this between each other, and Lucy felt the echo of warmth from his lips on the glass.
When they were finished, Lucy’s breath was stolen from her as Ian took her in his arms and danced exuberantly with her. He was far more confident in his movements than Rory had been, and nimbler on his feet as well. Lucy’s mind was intoxicated with the alcohol, the occasion, and the man who had so easily stolen her heart. There was much she wanted to ask him, yet at this moment all those questions drifted into the ether of her mind. Even the rest of the fair melted away because she didn’t wish to lose sense of this moment. She had no idea how many of them she had left to enjoy, and she wasn’t going to sacrifice any of them.
It was so rare to see him smile so joyously as this, to move as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He looked happy and carefree. The scowl that had practically been permanently etched upon his face was gone, and the lines of sorrow had been smoothed away. Whenever their hands met, there was a spark of lightning crackling between them, and when she spun away, she knew that she would always return to him.
Except there would come a moment when they would not return, and she pushed this far from her mind.
They were jostled by other people, but neither of them cared. They quickly lost sight of Rory and his dancing girl, preferring to lose themselves in their own world. Lucy could feel herself bristling with arousal, and as they came together, she whispered to Ian that she wished all these other people would disappear so they could be alone.
“Yer wish is my command,” he drawled, and then grabbed her hand, dragging her away from the crowd towards an alley. She giggled as they hid themselves in the shadows. The music still reached them, drifting into every dark corner, but it was mere background noise now, drowned out by the thumping rhythm of their hearts and the heavy pants of their breaths. Ian pinned her against the wall, gripping her arms tightly. He stared at her and then lunged in, pressing his lips against hers. She could feel all of his desire and his love in the kiss, his lips burning with passion. She flung her arms around him and clawed at him tightly, clamping her eyes shut as she felt the flames of pleasure swirling inside her. She even lifted her legs, wrapping them around his torso, held up only as he pinned her against the wall. They kissed madly and deeply, groaning and grunting in this dark alley, hidden from view, hidden from the world. It was a dark place for dark deeds, yet nothing seemed wrong about this at all. She loved Ian, and even though they were not married, this seemed a higher ideal than if she had been doing the same thing with a man she did not love even if the law had been draped over them.
There was only one law she wanted to listen to, the law of her own heart.
18
It would have been so easy for Ian to lose himself in that moment, to toss aside all sense of responsibility and duty and just give into these feelings for her. Lucy had opened a part of his heart that he thought had been sealed with a scar. At first, it had hurt, and he knew the hurting wasn’t over yet, but the sweetness of her kisses and affection more than made up for it.
He only wished that it would have lasted forever.
He kissed her hungrily, knowing that soon enough he would never have the chance to kiss her again. He wanted to drink in every part of her, to make every kiss last that little bit longer, if only to trick himself into thinking that his wretched life might be imbued with some sliver of happiness.
But then, he pulled away.
Her cheeks were flushed with happiness, her eyes sparkled with desire. She melted in his arms, and he was stiff with arousal. It seeped out of every pore and permeated the air. She reached forward, trying to catch his lips in hers again, but this time he leaned back. She smiled and purred, before kissing his neck. He closed his eyes, losing himself to the feeling of her body, how soft it was, how perfectly it pressed against his, as though she had been created to fill the missing parts of him.
“Let’s gae back tae the forge,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “Ye stay here. Enjoy the fair. There’s something I hae tae take care of back at the shop. Keep an eye on Rory and make sure he dinnae get intae any trouble.”
“I’m nae sure I can dae that. How can I save him from trouble if I cannae save myself?” she giggled, and coyly smiled at him.
How Ian wanted to tear everything asunder and do as she asked, to take her back with him and keep her there forever, but no, that wouldn’t have been fair. There were some things a man needed to do alone, even when it was going to hurt more deeply than any other wound he had ever endured.
He peeled himself away from her, ignoring the frantic emotions inside him, the screaming urges of his body. There was a whisper in the back of his mind telling him to reconsider, crying out that he should stay with her and give into these desires that made his blood feel like fire. But no, he needed to be strong and resolute.
“I promise I will come and find ye when I am done,” he said, hating how bitter the lie tasted upon his lips. He kissed her again and she returned to the crowd, losing herself to the music. He stayed there for a few moments, enjoying how happy and carefree she looked. This was how she deserved to live. She was a spirited girl and should not have been condemned to a lifetime of skulking around the dark corners of the world. She was like the sun, and how could the sun ever be trapped. Her radiant glory should be freed, liberated, spilling out to touch everyone else as she had the uncanny ability to make other people happy, to touch their souls just as she had touched his. He had been lost before she had found him, a wretched man with a wretched life, yet with her, he had rediscovered something beautiful, something he had thought died a long time ago along with the rest of his family.
It hadn’t died at all. It had merely lain dormant within him, like a seed waiting for the right drop of water to help it grow. And grow it had, to alarming degrees, and he was incapable of stopping it.
It was just a shame that he would never see it to its natural conclusion. He wished above everything that he could have stayed with Lucy and built a life with her, but she could not be held within a basement. She did not deserve to live her life always looking over her shoulder, always worried that one day her father was going to track her down and drag her back to the keep, ready to put her under his heel again. He had not been able to save his mother, his sister, or even his father. One by one they had fallen prey to the whims of the world and he hated himself for it. But, if he could do one thing with his life, one good thing, then it would be to save her.
He turned his back slowly, and with each footstep, he had to focus his discipline because it would have been so easy to abandon this path he was about to walk, to run back, sweep her into his arms, and pretend that things would have been wonderful forever.
But, it would have been a lie. Darkness loomed over them, and it was partly his fault. He wanted to do right by her and Rory. In his mind’s eye, he could see his family looking at him with pity, wondering how he had fallen so far. He wasn’t the man his parents had wanted him to be, and he had lost a sense of joy after his sister had died. He had lost so much, and now he was about to lose it all again. Damn life, damn the twisting fortunes of fate that always left him bereft and helpless.
He returned to his shop. It was eerily quiet, just as it had been before Rory had come along. He had been glad when they had gone for a walk earlier. It gave him a chance to prepare things properly. He opened the basement hatch and descended the stairs. The distillery had been disassembled and packed into crates. One by one, he carried them up the stairs and placed them in a cart outside. His steadfast horse waiting, its tail flicking idly. Ian worked up a sweat going back and forth like this, but eventually, he had carried it all out and then stretched a tarpaulin over it, protecting it from the prying eyes of anyone who was too inquisitive for their own good. It had served him well, but now it was time to pack it all away.
Lucy deserved a better life than what he could give her.
He wore a dark look as he stood in the forge for the last time, thinking about all the memories that had been built here. He remembered himself as a small child, racing around the place when his father had been trying to teach him about the forge. His mother had scolded his father, saying that there was plenty of time for Ian to learn about the forge as he got older. He was just a boy, he needed to play. Perhaps even then, his mother had sensed that his life would be stained with sorrow and that he needed to appreciate the good times while they lasted, for they were only fleeting. He had certainly done so with Lucy.
