“Turn around,” he said harshly. “We need to move.”
She gave him one long look before turning away from him, and Malcolm flicked the reins of his horse, moving it into a fast trot once more. Edna’s words filled his thoughts as he did so, detesting the way it made him feel.
It made him feel as if he wasn’t being truthful to himself.
9
Erik sighed as he stood in the doorway of the manor, watching the still night for any sign of movement. The air was cool, different than it had been for the past few days.
Not that he felt it at all. Since the day he had realized that his daughter was missing, he hadn’t felt anything.
The mere thought of her out there, on the moors, hurt or worse turned his stomach. He was her father. He was supposed to protect her with his life, yet he didn’t know where his daughter was, and it was tearing him in two.
A slight pressure on his shoulder caused Erik to turn, finding Finlay standing next to him, her face withdrawn and pale. “She’s out there,” he said softly, swallowing the emotion in his throat. “I just know it.”
“Ye have scoured the moors,” Finlay reminded him gently, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I dinnae think she is out there.”
“Then where is she?” he growled. It was the unknown that was worrying him the most, not knowing how to fix this ache inside his chest. He shouldn’t have allowed the Belshes laird to even meet his daughter, much less offer for her hand.
That was what had Edna spooked the most. She had gone through so much in her young life, her sorrow and grief weighing heavily on her ever since her betrothed had perished. Perhaps he hadn’t given her enough support to help her.
“’Tis mah fault,” he said, words that he had repeated quite often since Edna had gone missing.
Finlay turned him toward her, pressing her hands to his cheeks. “Nay, love,” she said, her eyes searching his. “’Tis all our faults. Edna, she has been hurting.”
“Aye,” he breathed, pressing his forehead to hers. “Aye, she has.” Finlay had handled their daughter’s disappearance far better than he had, but he knew that his wife, his beloved, was hurting as well.
She stroked his face lovingly. “We will fix this. Malcolm will find Edna, and he will bring her home. I dinnae think he will fail.”
Erik could only hope so. He had sent the warrior because he knew that he would find her. He had just hoped they would be back by now.
What did that mean? Did it mean that Malcolm hadn’t found her, or had he found her and didn’t want to bring her home?
What if she wasn’t alive?
His sharp intake of breath caused Finlay to pull back, shaking her head. “Nay, dinnae think like that,” she told him firmly. “We would know.” She didn’t say the words, but Erik knew she was thinking the same as he. His wife was right. They would know if they had lost a child, their own daughter.
It would feel as if his heart were being ripped out of his chest. Erik had come across many fears in his life, done many things that had struck fear in others’ hearts. He had taken lives, sure, but his wife and his children...he could not think about how he would feel if they were taken from him forever. They were his life, and ever since Finlay had come into his, he never wished to feel anything else.
“Come,” Finlay said, extending her hand. “Come to bed, Erik.”
Erik took her hand and allowed her to lead him through their home to their chamber, where he had lain with his wife for many years. After undressing, they climbed onto the stuffed mattress together, Finlay covering them with heavy furs. After dousing the lantern, they lay in the dark, as they often did recently.
“She’s fine,” Finlay repeated, squeezing his hand. “She has tae be.”
Erik didn’t respond to his wife and instead pressed his lips into her hair and tucked her against him, grateful that Finlay was next to him. Erik didn’t want to think about a day that she might not be beside him. They might as well run a sword through him, as the pain and anguish would never die.
Was that how his daughter felt? If so, he could understand her grief then. When Edna came back, he would have a long discussion with her about losing James and promise that she wouldn’t have to worry about anyone telling her to wed or move on with her life. Who was he to stifle her grief, force her to move forward when she wasn’t ready? Elise herself had told him that Edna was seeing her deceased betrothed and while that worried Erik, he knew that everyone dealt with their grief in many ways.
It didn’t take Finlay long to relax against him, her soft breathing letting him know that she was already in her dreams, dreams that he hoped didn’t include anything to do with Edna missing. His dreams were more like nightmares these days, and he would never wish any of those on his love.
Erik felt the pull of exhaustion on his body, his eyes growing heavy. Another day gone not knowing where Edna or Malcolm were.
One thing was for certain. If Belshes had something to do with his daughter’s disappearance, Erik was going to tear him limb from limb. When he was done with the laird, he would wish that he had never set foot on his land.
Finlay waited until her husband’s breathing evened out before she opened her eyes, glad that he had finally found a way to rest. She knew that Edna’s disappearance was weighing heavily on him, torn that he couldn’t find her or didn’t know about her whereabouts. Of all their children, Edna was closest to her father. When she was little, Edna had been the apple of her father’s eye, and Finlay had often fought with her husband about their daughter’s mischievous ways.
Now she was missing.
