There was only one person that would listen to her, one person that had, months ago, a moment where he had nearly lost his son. Surely the former laird wouldn’t want to feel that pain again.
Surely he could force Kaiden to remain at the keep.
With a sigh, Ferra moved out of the bed and hurriedly dressed into a warm woolen gown, gathering her hair up in a knot at the nape of her neck. After slipping on her boots, she hurried down the stairs, where she found the former laird crossing the great hall slowly.
“Ferra, lass?” he called out, a smile on his wrinkled face. “Good morning tae ye.”
“And ye as well,” she said in a rush. “A moment?”
He inclined his head, gesturing to the chairs that were positioned before the roaring fire. “Might as well be comfortable while we take that moment.”
She gave him a tender smile, and they made their way to the chairs, settling on the worn fabric. Ferra knew this was his favorite place to sit and contemplate, as she had seen him many times over the last few weeks doing just that. In the early morning light, she could see hints of Kaiden in the way he was looking at her, including the stubborn tilt of his chin even under the thick beard he favored.
“Wot is on yer mind lass?” he asked as he eased into his chair.
Ferra drew in a breath. “I dinnae think that Kaiden is ready for battle.”
Her father-in-law chuckled, gripping the chair’s arm. “Wot makes ye think that?”
“He’s barely out of the sick bed,” she replied, her words coming out soft and full of emotion. “He’s not strong enough tae be wielding a sword or riding a horse. Surely ye dinnae want tae see him injured again.”
The older man sighed, his eyes on the fire before them and not on her. “I can hear the anguish in yer voice, lass. I know wot ye think he needs, but I cannae...ye wouldnae understand why he needs tae be out there.”
“He’s not ready,” she tried again. “Surely ye can see.”
The elder Scot looked at her then, his woeful expression causing Ferra to pause her words. “Ye dinnae understand, Ferra,” he said softly. “I cannae explain it tae ye. Mah son is going tae be right where he belongs. Ye might think he’s not ready, but he was born a warrior, and if it is wot he dies for in the end, then he will die a vera happy Scot, I can assure ye of that.”
“I cannae lose him!” she blurted out. “Please.”
Her father-in-law reached over and touched her arm, his hand warm. “I know, lass, and I dinnae want tae lose him again, but this is wot he wants. Go on tae the sparring ring. Watch him train and tell me that ye dinnae see it as well.”
Ferra bit her lip to wish away the tears that were threatening to spill. The former laird wasn’t going to help her. Instead, he wanted her to agree that Kaiden would rather die on the battlefield than be in the keep, with her!
“I wilnae let him die,” she stated firmly, pushing out of the chair. It wasn’t out of anger; it was out of desperation. She had just found her happiness with a husband she never knew she wanted, but now she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
It was up to her to protect him. If he were to die, then she would as well.
“Go on outside, lass,” Shamus said softly. “Go and see wot he can do.”
So she did. Ferra located her cloak and stepped out into the chilly morning air, her steps brisk. Being in battle might be what Kaiden had done all his days, but it didn’t mean it had to be his future.
Or his death.
But as she saw the sparring ring in the distance, Ferra forced herself to slow her steps, tucking her arms around her as she watched the warriors within. It was easy to spy her husband amongst the others, the sight of his strong form swinging his sword at the approaching warrior as if he had been born with one in his hand. His movements should have been stuttered by his injured leg but while he favored it, Ferra couldn’t find one concern with his movements.
He looked like a warrior.
She sighed and leaned against the hut wall that she was watching them train from, wondering if perhaps she was being too hasty in her decisions for her husband. What if she asked for him to stay behind and his warriors were killed? He would likely never forgive her.
Ferra would never forgive him either if he didn’t come back alive.
She watched for a little while longer before turning away and before Kaiden could see her. Her heart was heavy. Never in her life had she cared about another person like this before. Never in her life had she worried so much about another person, not even her sisters.
What would she be if Kaiden didn’t return from the battle? She would be brokenhearted, that was for certain, but it would feel like she had lost a piece of herself as well.
He meant that much to her.
Ferra lifted her chin. Well, she wasn’t going to know what it felt like to lose those that she loved. Kaiden was going to have someone watching over him when he stepped onto that battlefield in a few days.
