“How do you know all this?” Caitlyn asked in disbelief.
“I have my sources,” Ava said cryptically. “I have a network of gossipers from here all the way to Glasgow,” she laughed. “I am not going to tell you, but I have a knack for finding things out.”
“And Alastair?” Caitlyn asked cautiously. “Has he been put off women for life?”
Ava frowned. “It has certainly seemed so for the last three years,” she answered, “but I feel that the clouds are lifting. Perhaps he is closer to being able to trust again. I wish you could stay, Caitlyn. I wish he could marry you.”
“That will never happen!” Caitlyn laughed and put her hand on Ava’s. “My father will be coming soon and he will be bearing me back to my own home. Alastair and I…” She shrugged. “We are incompatible. We would kill each other.”
“But he likes you,” Ava persisted. “I can see it in his eyes, and the way he behaves towards you, but he does not even realize it himself.”
“He kissed me the other day,” Caitlyn confessed. “But do not get excited, Ava; it was just to say thank you. Anyway, he liked Kirstine too, and look how that turned out. And what about my wishes? Do I not have a say in this? You cannot make him trust again, Ava. He has to learn it himself, just as you have to build up the courage to go outside this room eventually. And I think you are nearly ready.”
“Do you think...do you think that I will be able to go down to the stable tomorrow?” she asked haltingly.
“Only you can tell,” Caitlyn answered, crossing her fingers. She was not sure that Pinky was yet in a fit state to be seen. “But leave it till tomorrow morning, then she will be clean, and we can have Alastair ride her past the window.”
Ava hugged her. “Please, please stay a little longer!” she begged. “You have become like a sister to me now and I cannot bear the thought of you leaving!”
“My father is coming tomorrow,” Caitlyn pointed out. “He will want me at home. My mother is much better and there is no reason for me to stay.” She looked into Ava’s eyes. “You are getting better, and when you do, you can come and see me in my home. How does that sound?”
Ava hugged her again. “That sounds wonderful!”
Caitlyn laughed, then they began to chat again about all the trivia that made up the lives of beautiful young ladies of means. They lost track of time, and it was only when the door was firmly knocked by a maidservant that they realized it was dinnertime. By that time Caitlyn had put the quarrel with Alastair to the back of her mind. For the time being.
Alastair had to make himself concentrate hard on the ledgers of accounts he was trying to balance, because thoughts of Caitlyn kept popping into his mind unbidden. They were not altogether unwelcome, although they were distracting.
She was walking towards him wearing that smile that she always wore when she saw something pretty. It was wide and happy, crinkling the corners of her eyes and showing her even white teeth and the deep dimples on her cheeks. He wanted to put his fingers in those dimples and make her laugh, because her mischievous giggle was like the bubbling of the burn outside as it tripped over pebbles. However, her laugh, when she threw her head back in sheer unbridled merriment, was like the peal of church bells.
Then her warm, pliant woman’s body was in his arms and he was kissing her, tilting her face up to his and abandoning himself totally to the joys of her nearness. Her lips were soft and mobile against his.
Then somehow they were in his bed, and he was pleasuring her with the tip of his tongue on her secret place, watching her as she writhed and moaned in delight. When her climax came he kissed her almost savagely and she returned it in kind. Then she took his length into her mouth, almost driving him mad with delight. It was the fiercest climax he had ever experienced, and he cried out with the force of it.
Abruptly,he shook himself angrily out of his reverie and chastised himself for his flowery fantasies.
He went back to his work and managed to concentrate for another hour before his stomach told him it was time to eat. He sighed and stood up, putting his work away. He felt his stomach clench at the thought of seeing her, and his body tightened and hardened.
He was both dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. She was driving him mad with desire; it had been so long since he had made love to a woman that he could barely remember what it felt like.
He decided to take the coward’s way out and eat in his room.
13
Another Dream
Caitlyn took herself off to her bedroom where she thought about the kiss for a long time. Her mouth felt bruised and swollen; however, she also felt exhilarated in a way she had never felt or ever imagined feeling before.
His arms around her had been so strong, so crushing, and yet so comforting. She knew there was safety in those arms. She knew too that Alastair was a man who, having given his heart to a woman, entrusted it to her completely, and would be hers forever, which was why he had been so devastated by his experience with Kirstine.
But he had not given Caitlyn his heart. The kiss had merely been an act of punishment and frustration after her insult to him. It had certainly not amounted to a gesture of affection!
There was another feeling too, and she had no notion what this new sensation was called. She had never been so close to a man, never been able to smell his skin or feel the hairs on his face, or have the length of his body pressed against her so that she could feel the denseness of his muscles.
It was exhilarating, with a strange but pleasant tinge of fear in it. There had been a dampness between her legs and an unfamiliar but delightful sensation too. She had sensed rather than felt his arousal but she knew that his response was definite and real. Tomorrow she might talk to her mother or Ava about it, but not now; it was still too new, and she found that she actually wanted to revel in it and enjoy it more.
She was amazed at herself. She had had one relationship before, so she was not a total novice when it came to being kissed, but that had been like the first fumbling of a boy beside the skillful mastery of a man, and oh, she wanted so many more of those kisses!
She turned over and tried to go to sleep, but as soon as she closed her eyes he was there, and she felt his lips on hers again. She shivered, feeling new and unfamiliar sensations everywhere.
