Her thoughts again drifted to her grandfather. He had outlived Hannah’s grandmother by years. They had been together since they were teenagers and had married after he returned from a military stint during the Second World War. Married for almost seventy years with five children and a slew of great-grandchildren including herself, and with family around them at all times. Neither had been lonely at the end – not by a stretch. And they had been the love of each other’s lives; Granddad certainly hadn’t been looking for a second shot at romance when he was in his nineties.
So clearly Ed wasn’t of similar age to her grandfather, nor as old and frail as she’d assumed.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I met someone special, and thought I was reading the signals right, but it’s a mess
Who was this woman? she wondered then, enjoying the mystery. Someone he met at the doctor’s office or the hospital? Maybe a widow or divorcee who lived in the building? Or maybe even his nurse? Hannah’s mind swam with possibilities.
The note continued,We haven’t known each other that long. Truthfully, we come from completely different worlds …
Again, he’d written a few more words before crossing them out and scribbling over them. Evidently, he had a lot on his mind and wasn’t sure how to articulate those thoughts as they came.
Me being me, of course, I started things off on the wrong foot.
‘Of course, you did …’ She smiled, reminded of their own bumpy start.
That being said, I really don’t know what to do at this point. I care a lot about her and want to tell her how I feel. But I would hate to show my interest in someone like her and not have it reciprocated, which is the most likely outcome. She’s pretty incredible and I’m afraid of looking stupid.
‘So you think she’s too good for you? I’m sure that’s not true.’
Goes without saying I’m out of practice with this stuff, and the older you get the harder it seems to be.
In her mind’s eye, Hannah tried to picture Ed and his wife – a long-married couple who expected to be together forever. Until forever didn’t happen and now he lived alone in their home in a very different world.
But new relationships were harrowing no matter what age you were, she reflected wryly. She shuddered at the thought of still having to try to navigate this stuff in her advancing years. Terrifying.
So this time, I guess it’s me asking for some advice. How do Inotmake a fool out of myself?
The last question made Hannah laugh out loud. She was the last person he should be asking this.
No pressure. I just figured I might be able to benefit from some female insight since I truly don’t seem to know what I’m doing and which end is up.
How to tell him that I don’t know what I’m doing either, she pondered.
She was flattered that he had come to her for advice in return though. The anonymity of their back-and-forth conversations allowed an intimacy that she was certain wouldn’t have been possible had she and Ed ever met face to face.
Jumping off the stool, she went to seek out her pad of paper and a pen.
‘OK, Ed, I’ll try my best,’ she mumbled, aware of the irony of trying to give relationship advice to a senior, while her own experiences in that regard were always a raging disaster.
What was that saying again? Ah, yes … those who can’tdo,teach.
And with that, Hannah started writing.
Firstly let me say that I’m flattered that you thought to approach me for advice in return. Though I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through life on your own for a while … loss of any kind is so painful. However, it’s exciting that you’ve met someone you feel you’d like to get to know better.
Hannah wondered momentarily if the woman in question was, in fact, his nurse or carer which might make things very awkward forhim if she shot him down. Better not to overanalyze and just keep the advice general and unspecific.
And good on you for potentially putting yourself out there. Though I know it can be scary, too … and believe me, I understand how hard it is to face the risk of rejection. Let me begin by reminding you there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to love – and I have had my share of relationship disasters. So I’m by no means an expert (putting that disclaimer out there just in case).
However, I think that if you approach this or any situation from an honest place, that’s always good. Authenticity in anyone – male or female – is appealing and I’ve learned through experience to run a mile from anyone who pretends to be someone they’re not. From what I already know about you, I can tell that you already live by this rule. And while it’s good to speak your mind and be able to come straight out and articulate what you want, I do think that when it comes to matters of the heart, we all do better by treading a little more carefully …
Hannah grimaced, trying her best not to sound blunt.
Feels to me that if you communicate openly and honestly, and aren’t sending too many mixed signals, the object of your affection will quickly figure out that you can be trusted. And that after all is the basis of any great relationship.
And once trust and respect is established, I think you can risk being a little braver or bold. Fortune favours the brave. Get her attention by doing something that catches her eye … but don’t try too hard either.
Rob popped into Hannah’s brain unbidden then, and she reviewed the previous statement before adding to it.
