She was alone; poor Jenny had gone home for a bit, reeling upon discovering that Roan had - with no explanation - upped and offed to Venice with his supposed ex-fiancee.
“What do you want?” she asked when they reached the living room. “And why aren’t you in Germany?”
She made no motion for Shane to sit down, so he stood there fidging awkwardly.
“Did Jenny give you my note?”
Karen shrugged her shoulders, her expression defiant.
“I don’t know what you expected. I haven’t changed my mind about anything if that’s what you want to know.”
“But you believe what I wrote –that nothing happened with Lydia that day?”
“I’ll never know one way or the other, will I?”
Shane slowly shook his head from side to side. “I think you do know that nothing happened – you’re just too stubborn to admit it. You won’t give an inch, will you, Karen?”
She put her hands on her hips.“Why the hell should I? Did you call here expecting me to greet you with open arms? If you thought that, then you can think again. It’s not that simple.”
She felt her hands shake as she spoke. It was so difficult having him so near, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to forgive him. It was too hard. Although Karen knew from his face that he was indeed telling the truth. She also knew that if hehadslept with Lydia that day, he would have admitted it. It wasn’t in him to lie.
But what should she do now? She wasn’t going to run back into his arms just like that. What about Germany? And speaking of which, why wasn’t he …?
“Will you marry me?” Shane asked suddenly.
She looked at him, stunned. “What did you say?”
He moved closer and taking both of her hands in his, looked deep into her eyes.
“You heard me. I love you, and I want to marry you.You’re the most important person in the world to me and I realised just how important you were when I lost you.” When she said nothing, he continued. “Yeah, I went to Frankfurt and started the new job, got a place to live, met some new friends, you know – the whole shebang.”
She smiled despite herself at his well-worn expression.
Buoyed by the softening of her demeanour, Shane continued. “Everything was going brilliantly. The job is terrific and the social life is too, there are so many other Irish lads over there, I had no problems settling in but –”
“But what?” she interrupted. “Let me guess,” she said before she could stop herself, “you missed Lydia so much you had to come back?”
Karen saw something in his eyes then and instantly regretted her outburst. He looked as though she had just slapped him across the face.
“What’s the real problem here?” Shane demanded, and she heard his voice begin to rise as something snapped within him. “Why are you acting like this? I’ve been nothing but honest with you from the very beginning. OK, we’ve had our ups and downs…no,” he shook his head, “I take that back – we’ve hadonedown andplentyof ups throughout this relationship, and yet you’re carrying on as though I’m some kind of serial asshole. I’ve told you time and time again that nothing happened. I’veneverbeen unfaithful. I made one misstep in not discussing my plans for Germany, but now I’m back. I’ve even given up the stupid job for you. And it’sstillnot enough. What more do you want from me ....” He walkedback and forth, running his hands through his hair. “I just can’t win, can I? No matter what I say or do, I just can’t win.”
Karen wasn’t sure what to think. She’d never seen Shane so angry.Shewas usually the one who needed calming down in any arguments – it had always been him doing the calming. His face was bright red and his fists so clenched she was afraid he might try to put one through the wall.
“I’m sorry,” she conceded. “It’s just a shock, seeing you here – I suppose it’s just my way of hitting back at you.” She shrugged her shoulders again. “Please, go on with what you were saying…about Germany and everything.”
Did he just say he’d given up the job? Or was she imagining it? To say nothing of the fact that he’d just bloodyproposed?
But Shane seemed to have lost patience. “Doesn’t matter,” he said, waving her away, as he stomped towards the door, “forget I said anything, forget my question, forget about the whole bloody lot of it.” He opened the door, went to walk through it, then paused and looked back at her, his eyes tired and sad. “I think I have your answer now anyway.”
Karen stood alone in the flat for a moment, her mind reeling as she tried to get to grips with her feelings.
Shane had just proposed.And all she could do was stand there and insult him.
She ran out the door and caught up with him on the landing. “Wait.”
He stopped and looked back up, the expression on his face unreadable. “Yes?”
“What do you mean? Ihaven’tgiven you an answer yet,” she said indignantly. “You can’t propose to someone and then just tell them to forget you asked.”
