Flinging open the door, no words were said between the two women as they threw their arms around each other.
‘How did you get here, Mom?’ Holly cried, tears spilling from her eyes. ‘The bridges … I thought the roads were closed?’
Eileen smiled. ‘Oh honey, I walked. I had to get to you. I didn’t care that the subways weren’t running, I didn’t care that they weren’t allowing traffic. I walked.’
Holly burst into tears again.
‘Ssh pet, everything’s OK. Are you all right?’ she asked, looking down.
Holly sniffed and followed her gaze. ‘We both are. But Mom … what happened yesterday … everything is changed. Nothing will ever be the same. This poor baby, what sort of world will it be for him? He’ll never know … he’ll never know the world that I knew, the happiness and carefree sense that—’
‘Holly, listen to me.’ Eileen took her daughter’s tear-stained face in her hands. ‘That’s not true. The world is still magical, there is stillhope. Your baby, my grandchild, will still have every opportunity to wonder and explore the world, but he will only have that if the wonder and joy in your heart isn’t lost. OK? The world you create for your son depends entirely onyou.’
Holly felt more tears escape from her eyes and her vision blurred, but not before she noticed the small box in her mother’s hands. It was a box she recognised all too well.
‘Mom … what’s that?’ she asked, sniffing.
Eileen looked down at the box and handed it to her daughter with a small smile.
‘I have had this for a bit, and I was planning to send it to you when the baby was born, but I thought that now might be a better time. I usually like to surprise you as I’m sure you know … ’
Holly looked at her, shocked. ‘The other charms? Those were you too?’ she questioned.
Eileen gave a small nod.
She reached for her bracelet and handled it delicately. ‘But how? I mean, these can’t be from you, I always thought that they were from … ’
A knowing smile graced Eileen’s face. ‘I know who you thought they were from, and I know you enjoyed the fantasy, even though you never said it out loud.’
Holly blushed. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I feel so stupid now.’
‘Why feel like that? Of course there’s something magical about the idea of someone, a fairy godmother looking out for you. And I also know there’s a lot of unknowns about your birth mom in your mind, and that’s perfectly normal.’
Holly looked away, embarrassed at her mother’s perception. Once the thought had entered her mind that time back in college – that it might be her real mother who was looking out for her – it had been difficult to shake. She was young and highly imaginative, and there was no denying that it was a comforting notion, especially when she was still missing her father and her relationship with Eileen was still suffering the after-effects of being told the truth.
Eileen took her hands. ‘I know the truth about your birth was still all very fresh in your mind when your dad died and you’d been through a lot. I could see you start to slip away from me, when I knew you needed me more than ever. We needed each other. That’s why I started sending the charms, and I continued to send them because I knew you enjoyed the intrigue and mystery.’ She smiled. ‘To be honest, I enjoyed picking them out and trying to second-guess your reaction.’ Eileen squeezed her daughter’s hand. ‘I’m only coming to you with the truth now, because … well, at a time like this, I wanted to make sure you knew that there is someone who loves you very much, and who is always looking out for you. Someone who would walk for hours and miles to get to you. Me.’
Holly collapsed in a new round of sobbing and found solace in her mother’s arms. She buried her face into her neck and felt, once again, as if she was about five years old. Eileen stroked her head and soothed her crying daughter.
‘You’re like Santa,’ Holly finally got out.
‘I know. I thought you’d just decided not to try and find out where they were coming from, so that they wouldn't stop coming,’ Eileen chuckled.
That had been the rule when she was a child, the moment you stopped believing in Santa, he stopped coming. Holly had held out until she was eleven, finally letting it slip that she had seen her dad eating the same kind of chocolates that appeared in her stocking.
‘I’m sorry, it was so horrible for you to find out the truth the way you did. I was so angry at myself for blurting it out like that. Then, when your dad passed so soon after, it felt like you and I were growing further and further apart.’
‘It was heat of the moment,’ Holly said. ‘I know that.’ Yet there was no doubt that the knowledge had created a huge chasm in her relationship with her mother and since then, and especially after Seamus’s death, Holly had struggled to reconnect with her.
‘No matter, it was all wrong. But in truth, there was a lot of stuff I didn’t get right.’ Eileen gave a watery smile. ‘You’ll find that too when you become a mother yourself. Do you know I was your age, Holly, when your father died?’
Holly let that sink in for a minute. Her mother had only been thirty-five then?
‘I’m sorry I never put myself in your position, how it must have felt for you too – until now. I’m so sorry, Mom.’
‘So in all that time you never looked for her?’ Eileen asked. ‘Even when you thought she was sending the charms?’
Holly sniffed. ‘No. Maybe there was a part of me that knew it couldn’t be her, but like you said, I didn’t want them to stop.’
