But she didn’t finish that thought.
Overhead a deafening roar reverberated off the buildings around her. Holly put a free hand to one of her ears as she looked up and saw a low-flying plane, no not a plane, ajet, burning a path through the sky above her.
Mouth agape at how close to the ground it seemed to be flying, she followed its trail as it surged forwards overhead. Holly took a fleeting glance at others on the street who were looking upwards in synch with her, watching the plane as it flew towards Lower Manhattan.
It was then that her heart started to race. She dropped her tea on the ground and jumped as the hot water splashed her bare legs, but even still she couldn’t take her eyes off what was unfolding in front of her, above her.
Holly walked a few paces in the opposite direction to where she was supposed to be headed, but she couldn’t help it. There were throngs of people standing around, watching and engaging in speculation about what was going on. While she knew that standing here gawking was akin to chasing ambulances, she couldn’t help it.
She put her hands over her abdomen as the baby gave what seemed to be a vicious kick and she doubled over.
The woman next to her took note of Holly, clearly distressed and very pregnant.
‘Honey, are you OK? Can I call your husband, or a boyfriend? Can I do anything for you?’
Holly crumpled to her knees. At the lack of an answer, the woman looked around, seemingly trying to catch the attention of anyone, even though all eyes were turned to the skies.
‘Somebody help! I think this woman is in labour!’
56
Holly hadn’t been in labour. But her heart was broken.
As the day developed, she saw the world that she had known change drastically. Even after she had convinced the kindly woman on the street that she wasn’t in labour, the woman had understood that she was still in danger, especially as she had stood, frozen in place, unable to move.
It was only when another nameless New Yorker grabbed them both and propelled them away from the oncoming onslaught of dust and debris that Holly had willed her feet to move. They’d rushed to the Starbucks she had been in just minutes before, looking for a sanctuary from the hellish cloud that threatened to consume them.
And it was in that Starbucks that Holly sat on the floor, her back propped against a wall, studying the faces around her and the TV screen in the corner. It was all so surreal. A frightening realisation struck her as the news bulletins and terrifying headlines flooded in all around them. Her child would never know the safe and secure world that she had grown up in, the one that she had lived in up until this day. That world was in the rear-view mirror and Holly knew that she would never be the same.
Even when the grey ash on the street outside settled, she felt hesitant to leave. But she also knew that she had to get home, and walking was the only way she was going to get there. Her phone had stopped working hours ago; so right then she was effectively invisible. She needed to call her boss and she needed to call Kate. Justin worked in Cantor Fitzgerald. Please let him have got out before …Holly put a protective hand over her tummy and heard her charm bracelet jingle reassuringly. Moving into the street, she felt particles of dust, the remnants of destruction, falling onto her head and shoulders, and she put her head down to shield her vision. This was not her New York; this was a nightmare. Where had the beauty and wonder gone? And would it ever come back?
57
Wearily climbing the steps to her apartment, Holly felt as if she had lived four lifetimes since she’d woken up on what had been a cheery, sunshine-filled September morning. She put her key in the door and turned it hesitantly, for a moment wondering if she would find her home suddenly altered from the way she had left it as well.
But when she opened the door, she found her apartment exactly the same as it had been when she’d left it that morning – although by then it seemed like a lifetime ago. The blue baby clothes that she had been folding on her small coffee table the night before were still in their pile. The plate from her English muffin that morning was still in the sink. Her bed was still unmade.
She didn’t know how long she had stayed there in her doorway, but finally she noticed the blinking messages on her answering machine.
Crossing the small living room, she pressed play.
There had been numerous calls. All from friends and loved ones who were worried about Holly and the baby. Even Nick had called, and Holly felt relieved to hear from him. Right now was not the time to hold grudges.
Her throat closed over, though when she heard Kate’s frantic and tearful tones. ‘Holly, have you heard from Justin? Please say you have, I can’t reach him and… I just don’t know what to do!’
Holly immediately phoned her back but just got the answerphone. She hoped against hope that her friend hadn’t tried to go down there - it was no place for anyone. Yet, how could Kate not, when Justin could be caught up it all? Crying silently for her friends, Holly sank onto the nearest chair.
Having tried Kate a number of times – still to no avail - she worked to return the other calls, and made promise after promise that she would stay safe. The only other person she couldn’t reach was Eileen. Feeling worried, but by now emotionally exhausted, she dragged herself in to the shower to try and remove the remains of the day from her skin and hair.
And she tossed the sundress that she had been wearing in the trash. She never wanted to see that dress again.
Emerging in a robe, Holly saw the sun setting outside her window. This horrible day was ending. She picked up the phone to again call Kate and then her mother
No answer from either of them.
The following morning dawned in Holly’s apartment and as she opened her eyes, she wondered if the previous day had been a dream, a horrible nightmare that just couldn’t be real. When she looked out her window and saw the dust still in the air, she realised it was not and her heart sank. She sat back on her bed and cradled her stomach, unsure what to do or think.
A knock at her door made her break from her reverie. When she peered through her peephole, she couldn’t believe it. It was Eileen.
