He thought that he had been dealing well with everything up until now, but the last couple of weeks had been hard. The mere fact that the holiday season was in full swing wasn’t making it any easier, and many of the feelings that he thought were starting to normalise in his soul were once again amplified, and throbbing, like a healing wound that had just been freshly split open.
Jeff sat up in bed once he felt ready to face the day ahead, and looked out of his bedroom window to where Central Park lay under a sheet of white. He had always loved the way the park looked in winter and he remembered how Cristina always said that around Christmas time it was an island in a sea of wonder.
‘OK, enough of this. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start your day,’ he told himself in a committed and commanding voice. He smiled as he remembered another of his wife’s favourite sayings – this one about life: ‘You bring your own weather to the picnic.’ It was a good philosophy, as were most of Cristina’s views on life
He gave a small laugh and pushed himself out of bed. The world wasn’t going to wait and he did have plenty to do today.
‘I have to get that ring for Greg, that’s important job number one, and then I have to get these presents wrapped,’ he said thoughtfully. While the ring was easily found, Jeff had to admit the idea of wrapping presents for his son and soon-to-be future daughter-in-law was daunting in and of itself. Cristina had always done all the wrapping of the presents and they had always looked lovely. Like something right out of a department store display. Whereas he knew anything wrapped by him was sure to look like a first grader’s attempt at arts and crafts time.
And that was probably insulting to first graders. Jeff laughed. He thought for a second and remembered that Maria was coming in this morning – he would ask her. Getting dressed and then pulling the presents that he had bought out of the closet, he stacked the gifts on the kitchen island in two piles, one for Greg and one for Karen. Then he started writing some cheques for everyone else and stuffing them in cards. There was one for Maria, one for the concierge downstairs, one for the building’s doorman, elevator attendant, mailman and superintendent. All the people who kept day-to-day life on track. He’d be sure to distribute all of them that afternoon in order to ensure that Christmas cheer was efficiently delivered.
As he was finishing up, he heard the key turn in the front door lock and he knew that Maria had arrived. Putting her gift envelope to the side, and then thinking again and putting it in his pocket, he turned around with a smile on his face just as she walked in the room.
‘Ah, Maria my dear. Merry Christmas, or should I say,Feliz Navidad?’
Maria laughed and rolled her eyes. ‘Nice Spanish accent, Mister Jeff,’ she said, in a voice that indicated that she had been born and raised in Brooklyn.
‘I just thought I would honour your heritage.’
‘You know I’m Puerto Rican, and not Mexican, right?’
‘Same language,’ Jeff said.
‘Yeah, and you speak about as much Spanish as I do,’ she laughed, swatting him aside to put her purse down. ‘In Brooklyn, we just say “Merry Christmas”.’
‘All right, all right, point taken.’ Jeff reached into his pocket. ‘And this, my dear, is for you.’ He presented Maria with the envelope.
She smiled. ‘Aw, thanks Mister Jeff, is this a bribe?’
‘Of course not. It’s your Christmas gift!’ he said with his hands up, and then he gave somewhat of a guilty grin. ‘OK, but I also need your help.’
Maria shook her head playfully. ‘I knew there was a “but”. OK then, spill it.’
Jeff flicked his eyes to the pile of presents on the kitchen counter. ‘Um, well, I was wondering if you might … ’
Maria followed his gaze. ‘Wrap the presents? I have been wrapping presents for my kids until my fingers bleed just so I wouldn’t have to do it at the last minute, and where does that get me? Wrapping presents for you on the eleventh hour, jeez!’
Jeff smiled. As much as Maria pretended to be inconvenienced, he knew she didn’t mind really. She was witty and amusing, and her ability to ‘call it like she saw it’ was something that had always tickled Jeff.
‘Please Maria? I’ll be absolutely lost without your help.’ Jeff presented his hands as if in prayer and got down on one knee.
Maria laughed. ‘You ever hear of gift bags?’ Then she sighed. ‘All right, get up off your knee, old man, before you break a hip. That’s the last thing I need today is another trip to the ER. Had to go yesterday, and if there is anywhere crazier than Fifth Avenue at Christmas, it’s the ER. Nothing says “Happy Holidays” better than wounded kids and sick people.’
‘You were at the ER?’ he said, concerned. ‘I hope everything is OK?’
Maria threw up a hand. ‘Oh it was Pete the maniac,’ she said, referring to her oldest son. ‘Needed a couple stitches after getting into some horseplay on the ice rink at Rockefeller. Part of it was Pete’s fault, but thank goodnss the other kid’s mother was cool. I told Pete he was lucky that he didn’t get charged with assault.’
Jeff patted Maria on the shoulder. ‘It was an accident. Pete is a good boy, you know that. Boys will be boys,’ Jeff said. ‘We had plenty of those scares ourselves when Greg was growing up, being both ends of plenty of trouble.’
Maria laughed and shook her head. ‘It’s a stressful thing, raising kids.’
‘You can say that again.’
42
The doors of Cristina’s closet loomed in front of Jeff, and it was with a tentative hand that he reached out and opened the French doors protecting his wife’s worldly possessions.
He swallowed hard, hearing a small squeak as he pulled the doors towards him.
