Holly felt her chest tighten as Nick’s eyes grew wider.
More quietly this time she repeated, ‘I’m pregnant.’
Nick sat there for a moment, shaking his head, as if it couldn’t be possible. As if the sheerbiologywasn’t possible. The silence went on long enough until Holly grasped eagerly for Nick’s hands, shaking them.
‘Say something, please.’
‘I … I don’t know what to say. I hadn’t exactly planned on this … ’
‘Well that makes two of us,’ Holly countered. ‘I’m just as shocked as you are. But … I know what I want to do.’
Suddenly, his eyes bore into hers intently. ‘What?’ he asked hesitantly.
‘I want to keep it,’ she said with a small smile. ‘I want to have the baby.’
Nick was silent, and he pulled his hands away again. Gently this time, as if he thought she wouldn’t notice him recoil. He stood up and walked to the wall where a sliding glass door opened up onto a patio. He put his hands on the glass and placed his forehead against the cool pane. Holly waited for him to speak, all the while feeling as if her heart would pound out of her chest in anticipation.
Finally, she broke the silence. ‘Well?’ she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘What do you think?’
More silence still.
‘Nick, please, I understand. I was freaked out too, I didn’t expect this, didn’t plan on it. But I think we should talk about it.’
Holly hated sounding as if she was pleading. After all, this wasn’t just about her; this was about the both of them. Thethreeof them actually.
Nick turned slowly around to face her.
‘What do you want me to say?’ he asked bluntly, with a new edge to his voice.
Holly crossed her legs, Indian-style, on the bed and put her hands in her lap. She had never felt smaller in her life. ‘I guess I want you to say that you love me, and that we’ll figure this out together.’
Nick pursed his lips together. ‘Holly, I don’t want it.’
Holly felt as if she had been slapped, and her breath rushed from her lungs. ‘What did you say?’
This time, Nick’s response was quick. ‘I said I don’t want this.’
Eyes welling up with tears, Holly held out her hands. ‘How can you say that? This is you and me – it’s ours. Our baby. I know it’s scary, and it’s a lot to take in. And I know we’ve never talked about it. But maybe it’ll be a good thing … ’ Holly reached for him, hoping that he would pull her into his arms, tell her he was wrong, that he was just joking, that he wanted their baby.
But he didn’t. If anything, he backed farther away from her.
‘We never talked about it because it’s irrelevant. I don’t want kids.’
Tears fell from her eyes. ‘But you always talked about the future, and being together, and—’
‘Holly,’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘Yes, together, with you. Not together with a baby.’
‘But I want the baby,’ Holly pleaded, crying. ‘How can you be so cruel?’
Nick sighed and walked to where she sat. ‘Babe, I’m not trying to be cruel. This just doesn’t fit in with what I want in my life. In my future.’ Holly froze, she was keenly aware of the switch from ‘our’ future to ‘my’ future. ‘And like I was telling you, Yahoo bought the company today.’
Holly threw up her hands. ‘So what does that mean, that now you have more money?’ she said sharply. ‘Does it mean that you don’t have to work as much? If that’s true, why can’t we have the baby?’
Nick looked her straight in the eye and replied. ‘Because I am moving, to Silicon Valley. I’m included in the buyout. I was offered a permanent position. And I’m taking it.’
‘Silicon Valley? But I thought you loved New York? You always said that this is where you wanted to be. And what’s withyoumoving? What about me?’
He shrugged and regarded her with cool eyes. It was as if a switch had been flipped and nothing was the same. As if their relationship had been irrevocably altered in five minutes. Then again, Holly supposed that it had.
