She was the only one who was going to provide for him. In recent years she’d managed to carve out more time, but it would never quell the regret she felt for having been so absent in his life as a toddler while she tried to make a go of #GlamSquad.
He was the reason she’d worked so hard in the first place, and why she’d been so absolutely determined to see her (and Felicity’s) original plan through, despite her unexpected pregnancy.
‘How about a nice walk after breakfast?’ she suggested, kissing him on the cheek. ‘And then maybe a movie later?’
‘In the day?’ he questioned, wide-eyed. ‘But you never let me watch TV in the daytime.’
‘Well, today is a new day,’ Annie declared, as her phone dinged.
Her breath caught in her throat as she glanced at the screen alert to find a reply to the email she’d sent the day before had finally arrived.
Free to talk now if you like. What’s this about?
Followed by a number for her to call.
Annie’s heart thumped with both fear and shame as she realised she was really going to do this. She had to.
‘Love, tell you what – I’ve just got to make a quick phone call. How about you chill out for a bit, maybe do some colouring and then we’ll head out for our walk, OK?’
‘Maybe some cartoons instead?’ He grinned, ever the negotiator, and she distractedly smiled back, her emotions all over the place. ‘Just for a little while. But then we go for a walk, OK? It’s a beautiful day out.’
He scurried off into the living room, pleased at the unexpected opportunity to watch TV.
For a few moments, Annie busied herself in the kitchen with tidying up, hoping that the run-of-the-mill activity might settle her shaking hands.
And when she was sure Charlie was settled in front of the TV and well out of earshot, she dialled the number.
‘You told me once that if I ever needed anything for Charlie, that you would help. Well, I need that now …’ Annie couldn’t believe how normal she sounded as she explained her situation, as if this was no big deal.
She hated,hatedlowering herself to this, the idea of being beholden to anyone.
It was possibly her lowest moment yet.
A deep sigh on the other end. ‘I understand, and I’m sorry but … the timing is not good.’
At this she began to shake with fury. As if this was something she could control!
Well, fuck that. And boo hoo.
‘Are you serious? I never had the luxury of deciding when or if the timing wasgood. No, I was too busy trying to keep my head above water, trying to keep me and Charlie going when we had no one else. And now, the only time I ever ask you for help, you throw it back in my face?’
‘I’m sorry. Truly, I’d love to do what I can to help, but like I said, it’s just a very bad time …’
She couldn’t believe how anyone could be so goddamn cool, so unaffected by her plight or her request.
‘So after all your promises, and my keeping quiet all these years so you can maintain your sweet life, you’re telling me that you’re just going to turn your back on it all now – on your own son?’
Annie was so enraged, she hung up the phone without even waiting for an answer. But she’d got her answer, hadn’t she? There would be no help forthcoming from Charlie’s father, despite his promises and so-called best intentions.
She was on her own. Same as always.
‘Mum?’ Her son reappeared in the kitchen doorway, concern written all over his small face. ‘Why are you crying?’
Was she? Annie didn’t even realise. She put a hand up to her face, finding that yes, she was indeed crying.
‘It’s nothing, sweetheart. Someone just upset me, that’s all.’
‘Who upset you? Someone on the phone? Who was it?’
