‘He’d never forgive me,’ she muttered out loud, unbeknownst to herself.
‘Who’d never forgive you?’ Gabriel’s smooth voice appeared in her ear then and Kim jumped in her seat. Her husband laughed as he jokingly raised an apologetic arm in the air, their three-year-old’s hand held firmly in the other as they both grinned at her.
‘Mommy!’ Lily cried out with a big toothy smile.
‘Hey, baby.’ Kim jumped out of the car and went to hug them both.
‘What’s the matter?’ Gabriel asked. ‘You looked so spooked when we walked up. We didn’t mean to scare you like that. You looked like you were sleeping. I know this whole thing has been wearing you down …’
He had no idea.
‘I’m fine,’ Kim lied. ‘I was just thinking. I didn’t notice you guys walk up.’
‘You sure?’ he questioned as he studied her carefully. Her husband knew her as well as anyone, but he also respected when she didn’t want to talk.
She nodded. ‘Yep. I’m fine.’
‘OK. Then pop the trunk and let me get these bags in. You remembered to bring the car seat?’
Kim put a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh fu—’
Gabriel shook his head but there was a smile on his face. ‘Lucky I brought a back-up.’ He wrestled with a zip on one of the suitcases and produced a child’s blow-up travel seat.
Again, Kim felt like the worst mother in the world. Unsure what else to say – what was there to say? – she picked up her daughter and pulled her close for a hug.
Lily clung to her neck like a limpet, making her feel even guiltier, and combined with the strain she was under and the afternoon heat, Kim felt as if she was suffocating.
She pulled her daughter’s hands away, gently lifting her into the rear of the car as Gabriel wrestled with the car seat. Once Lily was buckled up, Kim got back in front and he came around to sit beside her in the passenger seat.
‘Sure you don’t want me to drive?’ he asked before putting on his seatbelt. ‘You do look pretty beat.’
‘I’m sure.’ Kim started the engine, eager to get going, desperate to feel the sea breeze on her face once again to cool her a little.
‘Wait a second, slow down.’ Gabriel leaned over to kiss her. ‘I missed you.’
The sensation of his lips on hers had an immediate calming effect. No one had ever kissed her like he did. His lips were always gentle, never rushed or seeking, but patient when she needed him to be. It was as if he could read her so completely and know just what was necessary at any given moment. She didn’t want to lose that. She didn’t want to losehim.
Gabriel’s hand remained against her cheek as their lips parted. His thoughtful blue eyes looked at her lovingly.
‘I’m here now so talk to me,’ he reassured. ‘I know that things have been stressful and you need an outlet. And I know you think you can do everything alone. Just because we’re separated by an ocean, it doesn’t mean that I’m not there for you. I am. And I always will be.’
The words were so timely it was a soothing balm to Kim’s panicked heart.
His brow furrowed as he seemed to realise there really was something other than last-minute launch jitters affecting her mood. ‘Kim, what’s going on?’
Lily’s hot and bothered cries interrupted the conversation then and Kim was grateful. She didn’t want to answer, couldn’t answer his question just then. She couldn’t tell Gabriel what was going on, not yet. Not when she didn’t really know herself.
She pushed the button to lift the convertible hood back up and give her daughter some shade.
‘Everything’s fine. Let’s get going. Lily needs to rest.’
Chapter 20
Then
‘Aren’t you getting in? The water’s amazing …’ Colette, her translucent skin dripping in sea water, ran up to where Kim lay on a towel on the beach. She was dressed in a yellow-and-white polka dot swimsuit she’d borrowed from Annie, which really accentuated her figure.
A week had passed since Kim had found that little journal full of motivational quotes and interesting titbits, and since then she’d been dipping in and out of it, finding more stuff of interest to use for her social media captions.
