It was impossiblenotto feel uplifted here on the Amalfi Coast, Colette thought.
The air was cool and the smell of the ocean crisp around them. The restaurant was full, but not overly packed, each table occupied by smiling faces of families and friends gathering together to enjoy time with one another.
Envy wasn’t something she was plagued by often, but as Colette sat watching Charlie and Annie interact, she couldn’t help but feel that loathsome emotion.
She wanted a child so badly the hurt was visceral. Why was she denied when it had come so easily to Annie? A drunken mistake during which she neglected to use contraception, apparently, and she was pregnant.
How many nights had there been for Colette over the years? How many tests and needles and prayers and still nothing? Would she forever be denied the only thing she truly ever wanted in life?
A cool breeze blew in off the water, chilling her exposed arms. She rubbed them gently. She always got colder more easily than others. It had been the same the last time she’d visited this particular restaurant, though the company had been different.
‘This place really brings back memories,’ she commented absently.
‘That’s why I so wanted you two to be here.’ Kim placed one hand on her arm and the other on Annie’s. ‘It just wouldn’t feel right to take this next step without you both. You guys changed my life for the better, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.’
‘Oh stop, everything you’ve done has been entirely down to you – we just happened to be here at the start,’ Colette assured her with a smile. ‘And I suppose it was a life-changing trip for us all in a way.’ She glanced from Kim to Annie and then Charlie.
‘Yep, life-changing all right,’ Annie grunted. ‘At least you two landed on your feet,’ she added with some bitterness, and Colette glanced at her son, hoping he didn’t pick up on anything untoward.
But no, Charlie was immersed in his meal, oblivious to the conversation.
‘Is everything ready for the party?’ she asked Kim, hoping to change the subject. ‘Do you need help with anything?’
‘No, I think we’re good.’ She grimaced. ‘Thank God the caterer managed to sort a replacement in the end. Barring any other last-minute hiccups,’ she added, crossing her fingers.
‘Ah, of course all will work out fine,’ Annie muttered darkly and took a swig of her wine.
Colette inhaled deeply. ‘Smell that?’
‘The sea?’ Kim asked as she turned in the direction of the water only a few feet away from where they sat.
‘I really miss it,’ she commented. ‘I grew up by the water, as you know, but in London everything’s smog and exhaust engines.’
‘Maybe you should move out of the city,’ Annie commented, chucking back her wine far too fast for Colette’s liking.
The thought was tempting, though, and Colette would’ve been lying if she said it hadn’t crossed her mind several times, but it was never the right moment to bring it up with Ed.
Not to mention that he had his career, friends, and family – his entire life in London. She knew he wouldn’t want to move.
‘It might be good for a few reasons,’ Kim agreed. ‘A change of pace and scenery is always good. Look what it did for us.’
‘I can’t see Ed moving,’ Annie said then, which Colette thought was an odd comment, given she didn’t really know him. ‘Ah, you know what I mean,’ she sputtered, obviously sensing she’d spoken out of turn. ‘The English can be a bit set in their ways.’
‘Ed’s not like that,’ Colette defended. ‘He’s very open to change, and very flexible about things; probably more than I am, actually.’
Again, Annie topped up her wine glass.
‘Are you OK to drink that much when –’ Colette cocked her head at Charlie – ‘you know …’
But by the look on her friend’s face, she wished she hadn’t said anything.
‘What? You’re trying to suggest I’m a lush now?’
‘Sorry … I just … I—’
‘Come on, she’s on holiday,’ Kim laughed lightly, topping up all their glasses, though Colette could hear the strain in her voice as she tried to keep the conversation going. ‘Actually, I think a toast is in order …’ But the rest of the sentence trailed off with the ping of an alert on her phone. And by the look on Kim’s face when she saw the display, Colette knew it was important.
‘Sorry, I need to make a quick call …’
