She nodded with faraway eyes. ‘I bet it is. How wonderful that you were able to have that experience, even as a child.’
Danny hesitantly put his arm around her, wondering if she would allow it. She did. ‘Ah, I have a feeling that you will, too,’ he said, as she relaxed into him. ‘Lots of time for that.’ What Danny didn’t say was that he was now one hundred per cent committed to having her see Venice with him. He would take her there someday; he was sure of it. Just like he hoped they’d visit her hometown together some time, too.
Beth and Danny sat in silence for a long time, looking out over the river, utterly content in each other’s company.
It was a special moment and they both knew it, had talked about it many times over the last few years. Like the song went, it was their New York minute.
Now, in the bitter cold, the memory drifting away like the falling snow, Danny looked at the empty space next to him. And try as he might, he couldn’t conjure Beth’s image there. This definitely wasn’t the scene out ofManhattan.
He stared out over the river, remembering the words that he and Beth had spoken that night. They had just been learning about each other, and he recalled feeling so hopeful – there was so much opportunity. They had so much time.
He felt something seize the chords around his heart and his breath catch. But this wasn’t the same kind of feeling that he’d felt that night with Beth. That was based on excitement – like heading over the first hill of a roller coaster and having your heart jump into your throat and adrenalin surge through your veins like a drug. This was different; this was… regret. Regret about the past and for the future – his and Beth’s. Except he could no longer picture Beth in that future. He could no longer visualise those stars over the Queensboro Bridge.
What did the relationship hold for them now? Adele had made things very clear to him barely an hour ago.
About the new addition that was going to further complicate his life.
His eyes watered. There was no hiding this from Beth now. Had it really been only an hour ago since he’d first learned the news? Danny wondered. He looked at his watch. Yes, an hour. Such a momentous, life-changing conversation. Though it was hardly a conversation at all. Adele had done most of the talking. Whereas Danny had listened for a little but had become so overwhelmed he’d walked right out of there, unable to focus on anything other than what he’d just discovered. It was almost surreal.
How flippant we were as humans, to think that we were in control of things, he thought, once again casting his face up into the light of the fading sun – wishing it would warm him; turn up the heat on his cold heart. That’s what it was, after all, he was convinced of it. A cold heart – for all he wasn’t telling Beth now, for all that he had to tell her, and what he was going to put her through.
Danny reflected on yesterday when he and Beth had watched that movie together and put the tree up.
That had been nice. It had felt so normal – so right. Beth had seemed to enjoy herself, though there were times when it was obvious that she was distracted, that she too had something else on her mind. Maybe that guy – Ryan. Danny felt his pulse start to speed up as he thought of the man and his goddamn dimples, but then he shook his head, banishing the negativity that was building in his thoughts.
It was probably good that she was distracted just now. He hadn’t expected her to be at home when he arrived back from his folks’ house, and Beth knew that. She knew something was up. He’d almost been tempted to come right out and tell her then, but he hadn’t wanted to ruin the first comfortable moment they’d had together in an age. At least he was able to distract her – and indeed himself – with some movie trivia. At least in the end they just had a lovely evening together, normal, easygoing, just like old times, though going through the Christmas ornaments, painful reminders of the wonderful memories they’d shared, had almost broken his heart.
Once the truth came out there weren’t going to be any more of those.
Danny felt a sob start to well in his throat. Out of frustration. Out of confusion. Out of regret. Sitting here now, in the place that held so many memories of good times shared with Beth, he knew deep down that, despite his best attempts, their happy life was about to come to an end.
And he knew he wasn’t ready for that just yet.
Chapter 23
Waiting for the lift to reach the twenty-third floor was sheer agony for Beth. She didn’t know what she should be looking for, or what to expect, but then an errant thought crept into her mind and she remembered what she had contemplated earlier that day at work.
If Ryan was the one behind this, would he be waiting for her here?
Admittedly, her palms started to sweat at the thought. Especially as her circumstances, it seemed, had changed so much in the last half-hour. If Ryanwashere, what would she do?
Was seeing Danny on the street like that a sign of sorts? Serendipity…
But no, it wasn’t as simple as that, she reminded herself. While she had immediately jumped to conclusions about what she’d seen on Park Avenue, was she one hundred and fifty per cent sure that Danny was actually cheating on her?
She wanted to say shefeltsure, but that still didn’t give her the right to jump into Ryan’s arms, only to discover that she had jumped to incorrect conclusions about Danny.
‘Two wrongs don’t make a right,’ she said to herself with conviction – another one of her grandmother’s wise sayings – as the elevator car slowed, approaching her final destination. If Ryan was here it was still a no-go.
‘But first things first,’ she reminded herself anxiously. There was no point in worrying about what she would do if Ryan – or indeed anyone else – was here until she at least made some headway on this clue.
Beth pressed her lips together and wiped her hands on her sides. She didn’t necessarily understandwhyshe was so nervous just then, she just knew that she felt some sort of trepidation, as though whatever she discovered would lead her to a tipping point of sorts.
She didn’t know what made her feel this way, but she suspected that she was very close to solving this entire mystery. It was as if her own inner movie soundtrack was bringing symphony music to a crescendo behind her.
A moment later, the lift dinged, signalling her arrival on the twenty-third floor. Beth felt a lump form in her throat and she realised that her stomach was jumping around out of sheer anxiety. It was a feeling akin to heading over the first, menacing hill on a roller coaster and she had to take a deep breath, if only to try to regulate her pulse and quell the excitement (panic?) that was building in her chest.
The doors opened, and Beth could have sworn that she was moving in slow motion. As the opening expanded to its limit, she stood for a moment, breathlessly looking at the scene in front of her – the twenty-third floor’s lobby – as if she was waiting for someone to jump out and yell, ‘Surprise!’
