‘You came to New York because of the movies?’ Ryan’s words brought Beth back to the present. He was smiling but, much to her relief, he wasn’t laughing at her; if anything he was intrigued by the idea. ‘That’s so cool…’
Beth had tried to explain to people before how the city as the backdrop to so many of her favourite films had been an irresistible draw. Some got it; others didn’t – and most New Yorkers, especially Jodi, thought she was nuts – but Ryan was clearly one of the former.
‘I guess I know what you’re saying. I passed by Katz’s Deli the other day and couldn’t resist popping in for fun.’
She laughed. ‘One of many guys hoping for a re-enactment ofthatMeg Ryan scene, I’m guessing…’
He winked. ‘Nope. I just heard they do a good pastrami sandwich.’
‘Yeah, right.’ She shook her head. ‘Oh, I know it’s probably hard to understand, but when you love the movies as much as I do, then this city… it’s just… heaven.’
Ryan was shaking his head. ‘I suppose I should have guessed you were a movie aficionado. Is that where the shoe display thing comes from?’
She smiled. ‘Of course. Aren’t I always telling my customers that a pair of shoes can indeed change your life?’
‘A decent philosophy, though I’m not sure it would work in my department. Can’t see the guys looking for chinos buying into that, somehow.’
‘True.’ Beth finished the last piece of her burger. ‘So now you know why living anywhere else would feel like being on the moon to me.’
Ryan nodded and took a sip of his soda. ‘And your boyfriend? The Mets fan? He from here?’
She nodded.
‘And what does he do?’
Beth straightened up a little at the mention of Danny. ‘He’s in marketing. For one of the Madison Avenue firms. It’s been rough lately, they were going through some layoffs, but since the economy started to rebound things have been picking up again. And that’s good; it’s good for his career. I mean, he’s been busy lately, but that’s to be expected. Same thing happens with me in Carlisle’s around this time of year, as I’m sure you’ll find out soon.’
Ryan eyes narrowed. ‘Sounds like there is a “but” coming, though?’
Beth blinked, wondering how he’d picked up on that note of worry. It must have been in her voice. She shook her head, determinedly negating the assumption. ‘There wasn’t a “but”.’
‘Oh yes there was,’ he argued matter-of-factly.
‘There wasn’t,’ she insisted, setting her mouth in a straight line as if preparing for a challenge.
He put his hands up. ‘All right, all right, there wasn’t a “but”. I was just following your lead, that’s all, but if there is nothing to discuss, then I’m cool.’
She regarded him for a moment, feeling a little strange. What had she really wanted to say? And why was she considering telling someone she hardly knew about something very private?
‘OK,’ she said, taking her napkin off her lap and placing it on her plate, a clear indication that she was finished. ‘So, there was a “but”.’
He looked up. ‘I know; I’m kind of good at reading people.’ When she didn’t reply, he went on, ‘Hey, I didn’t mean to say anything that makes you uncomfortable. I apologise if I overstepped.’
Ryan wiped his fingers on his napkin and pushed his plate away. Then he reached across the table and gently placed a hand on Beth’s arm. As soon as he touched her, she again felt a brief surge of electricity and surprised herself by the fact that this time she didn’t automatically pull her arm away.
She shook her head. ‘No, no, it’s not your fault. There has been… stuff happening, I guess you could say, and I am probably just being silly. It just feels weird, that’s all. I mean… I haven’t spoken to anyone about it. So, it seems odd, saying certain things aloud when I’ve only been thinking them.’ Feeling shocked by her words, Beth couldn’t explain what had got into her just then. Or why she was telling this man – one that she couldn’t deny she felt an attraction to – what was going on in her relationship.
‘You don’t have to talk about any of it. It’s none of my business,’ he continued softly.
Beth found herself pressing on, realising there was something actually quite cleansing about unloading it all like this. ‘No, it’s OK. I’m probably being overly dramatic. I suppose I’ve just been feeling a bit in second place and… oh God, that probably sounds really needy, and I am totally not a needy person.Not at all.’ She laughed nervously. ‘Danny has just been really tied up lately, like he has a million things on his mind. And I’m not always sure if I make the cut.’ She felt a lump growing in her throat, and to her horror, realised her eyes were beginning to well up.
Oh, for goodness’ sake, stop it! she remonstrated with herself. You will not do this… not here and certainly not now.
‘Beth…’
‘Oh God, I’m sorry. You wanted just to go and get a bite to eat, and here am I going all serious on you. I’m—’
But Ryan was unfazed. ‘Beth, it’s OK, honestly,’ he said, his voice soft as he reached for her hand, urging her to look at him. ‘I’m sorry that I started this, I didn’t mean to make you upset.’ She chuckled a little, trying to make light of everything. ‘I suppose I should just say thank you for listening to me. Good therapy.’
