‘I’ll make it up to you, I promise,’ he insisted, meaning it. ‘This weekend. We’ll do something special this weekend, OK? Anything you want.’
There was silence on the other end of the line and Danny felt the tension growing as he waited for Beth to speak. What if she was on to him? What if she knew that right now he wasn’t working, wasn’t eating takeout at his desk? What if she had already called his office only to have his assistant, Kimberly, tell her that, no he hadn’t actually arrived yet and had left early yesterday, saying he had an ‘appointment’. What if, what if, what if…?
Finally, Beth spoke and once again Danny could hear her smiling on the other end of the line. ‘That sounds good. I think we could do with that, to be honest.’
He felt himself exhale. ‘Great. I’ll see you later, maybe try to get out of here a little earlier if I can, OK?
Soon after, he and Beth said their goodbyes and Danny ended the call and stared at the phone after hanging up, just taking a moment as he thought through their conversation one more time.
Then he put his hand on the doorknob and steeled himself to face Adele, turning momentarily to look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sure, he looked the same, more or less, a bit pale maybe, but he wasn’t sure if that was due to the fact that he felt rattled by Beth’s call, or something else. He just knew that he didn’tfeelthe same.
And he worried that there was a part of him that was lost, as if part of his soul was crumpled and damaged and dark. He felt as if a great black blob of nothingness was living in his body, ready to consume him as punishment for what he’d been doing.
Danny breathed deeply, hoping to cleanse himself, steel himself, then he opened the door.
Adele took in his appearance and he knew that she could feel the tension rolling off him.
‘You OK?’ she asked, her eyes watchful.
He nodded, finding it hard to meet her gaze.
‘You know you would feel better if you just told her,’ she said simply. ‘The truth will set you free, so they say.’
Danny shook his head. ‘No, it wouldn’t. It would change everything. You don’t understand.’
‘Danny, really, I do understand. I’ve been down this road a few times before, you know,’ she said, and for a moment he was a little taken aback. But of course a woman like her would have experienced something like this before, he realised, feeling stupid. He certainly wasn’t the first. ‘But it’s your choice,’ she continued. ‘It’s your relationship, not mine. And I’m just trying to help.’
‘You’re right – it’s none of your business,’ he replied curtly, then immediately relented when he saw her expression. ‘Hey, I’m sorry, that was out of line. I’m just… I’m sorry, but like I said, I need to do this in my own time.’ He took a few steps in her direction, but she held up a well-manicured hand.
‘It’s OK. I get it, and I know it’s difficult. Really, it’s all right. Take your time. But don’t take too long…’
Danny nodded, completely understanding the subtle warning. Suddenly he felt awkward. They’d been seeing each other for a few weeks now, but he didn’t reallyknowher as such.
‘So…’ he said, absently, wondering how to take his leave.
‘Right, so, see you next time? Same time, same place?’ she said, catching his drift. ‘Give me a call.’
‘Sure.’ Danny swallowed hard, considering his weaknesses, his deficiencies and then answered, ‘I’ll be here.’
He couldn’t stop himself if he tried.
***
Much later at home, Beth lay curled up in bed with Brinkley next to her when she heard the front door of the apartment open. Looking up from reading an old dog-eared romance novel, she looked to the door of the bedroom expectantly and stole a glance at the clock.
Nine-thirty: not exactly an early finish, she thought, remembering Danny’s claim on the phone earlier that he was going to try to make it home from work at a reasonable time.
She tried to shake off some of her disappointment and reminded herself that he was just trying to do well at work, especially in the run-up to Christmas, when the company would be handing out bonuses. She shouldn’t really be annoyed if he worked hard; after all, it wasn’t as if he was running around the city with his friends, hitting bars and partying it up. And she’d been enjoying an early night curled up with a book, in any case.
Quiet footsteps moved closer to the room, and Brinkley jumped to attention the moment the door opened. Danny stood with his hand on the door handle, a hesitant look on his face.
The moment he saw Beth he broke into a half-smile. ‘Hey, I thought you might be asleep,’ he said quietly as Brinkley jumped from the bed and crossed the distance between them. ‘Early night?’ He leaned down to place his briefcase on the floor and picked up the dog, scratching him around the ears, much to Brinkley’s enjoyment.
Beth smiled and stretched her arms above her head. She kicked her legs from under the bed sheet and stood up. ‘Yeah. It’s so cold out, and I was just reading.’ As she drew closer and opened her arms for a hug, instead of welcoming her embrace Danny quickly handed her Brinkley, almost as if he wanted to avoid physical contact.
A curious act that didn’t go unnoticed by Beth.
‘What? No hug?’ she joked.
