Glancing back outside, I wish for the rain to cleanse my path, so I can stop tiptoeing as if mines are scattered everywhere, threatening to blow me up with every step, any second. To find myself somewhere else. Live my life without thinking that even though I am so close to achieving my dream, I might never fulfill it.
“Daydreaming again?” my best friend says in that melodic voice of hers. Placing the book aside, she scoots herself against the headboard.
A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. “That’s the only thing no one can take from me.”
Evie blows out a breath of air infused with frustration. “Sucks to be us, huh?”
“One more year,” I say wistfully.
That was the deal I made with my father. I could go to college, but I would have to drop out if placed in an arranged marriage.
No one in the family knows, and my mother always sides with him. My sister is the opposite. Chiara would lose it if she heard about the deal I made. Even though we love each other and we’re close, I’ve always felt out of place in my family.Overlooked. Most of the time, it was better not to draw attention to myself.
She has her own small family. A man who is beyond madly in love with her, who is also the boss of the Family, and they have the sweetest girl possible, my niece, Celia.
I crave something of my own, a place I can call mine—a true home.
Evie switches into a cross-legged position, her long hair falling over her breasts in waves of copper.
She tilts her head, asking, “If you could go anywhere, where would it be?”
We’ve known each other since we started college. We met in our first class and became fast friends. We bonded over our dream of becoming teachers and the secrets we kept about our families. That’s one topic we never broach.
I sigh. “Somewhere where I can just breathe, forget who I am…”
A place where I don’t have to censor my words or conduct. I’ve lived my life under constant scrutiny.
Solitude has never bothered me. I need it to replenish myself and remain alert. I never know who watches, who reports. Trust no one. Always maintain control. I think that’s my father’s credo.
Evie smiles, her face radiating. She’s beautiful like a fairy princess.
Secrecy shrouds her past. I just know her parents are dead, and she has a brother I’ve never met.
“Come with me tonight. It’s a masquerade. No one will know who you are.”
I am about to refuse, but she pouts, her eyes sparking at the prospect.
The offer plays in my head, pulling me in two different directions. My heart yearns to escape the shackles, to pretend tobe someone else, even if only for a few hours. Is fate somehow intervening?
Fate. A strange concept. Behind people’s greatest achievements and losses, that notion has accompanied humanity. An excuse, just like using God for every little or big thing. But wouldn’t that absolve us of accountability? All I hear is not fate but fear. That might be the real ruler of humanity.
Evie rushes to my side. Taking my hand in hers, she gives it a little squeeze. “Please. Just this once. Nothing will happen.”
“You don’t know.”
A soft smile teases her lips. “No one does, Viv.”
A brief pause follows, and she nudges me. “You’re thinking about it?”
I tilt my head, eager to experience something. Live a bit. Until I can’t.
I need a break. One damn night. It’s not much to ask.
She’s right. What could go wrong? Maybe this little adventure will help me sort out my thoughts. Help me focus back on why I must push through.
Nothing will happen. I think a goldfish lives a more interesting life than I do, having the fortune of forgetting its whereabouts in an eight-second increment. I could never forget who I am.
Viviana Bertinelli. The name means something in the underworld.
