I hadn’t lostallof my appetite. I’d devoured that cheesecake that Renee hadn’t wanted. Not one slice, but two. I’d even sprinkled parmesan cheese on it. The salad I’d made for lunch hadn’t appealed, but somehow, the tart cheesecake and the dry parmesan sounded good. I’d shaken out some salt on it too, because I had a hankering for something salty.
“Oh, no.”
Could this be morning sickness?
Combined with weird cravings?
And those naps I’ve been taking in the afternoons. Those aren’t normal either. I only nap when I’m sick.
I opened my eyes wide as my heart raced. Feeling like a freight train was barreling at me, I did the mental math of when I’d last had my period.
Oh, my God.
Am I… pregnant?
I stood, trembling.
It added up. I was late, and Andre and I hadn’t used protection.
Before I could freak out any further, I showered and got dressed. I’d noticed pregnancy tests in a storage closet in Natalie’s building. She probably had one because she’d recently used one to find out that she had been expecting Rose. I had to get one and take it. I had to know before I could let myself spiral with too many life-altering what-ifs.
I couldn’t ask for a pregnancy test, not from Andre when I was plotting to leave. I couldn’t go out and buy one. Even though no one came out and said I had to stay here, it was implied. Beforenow, I had no reason to go to a store or anywhere else, content to be Andre’s woman and stay here with him.
Not as a spy.
Buthis.
Yeah, that didn’t last long.
I swallowed hard and hurried to the other building. I surprised Natalie, showing up out of the blue, but I lied and said that Anya had mentioned I might be needed for help with Maisie.
“Oh, no. She’s fine.” Natalie rocked Rose, smiling down at her sleeping in her arms. “Sergei just left to check on something with Andre, and Maisie’s content to read for now. Thanks, though.”
“Oh, that’s good. I bet peaceful mornings are rare,” I joked.
She huffed good-naturedly. “Don’t jinx it.”
“Hey, can I use the restroom? I think I drank too much coffee and it’s just running through me.” I winced to look apologetic.
“Oh, sure, sure.” She sighed and let me in. “I know they say one cup of coffee isn’t too dangerous while breastfeeding, but I sorely miss caffeine.”
I don’t.That was another clue I’d missed. The aroma of coffee, usually something that I loved, turned my stomach and stank now. I couldn’t force myself to drink my coffee yesterday.
I grabbed a test and hurried back to Andre’s building to take it.
And sure enough, my fate showed up as a pair of pink lines.
Positive.
“Oh, shit.” I licked my lips and tried not to cry.
In fear.
In joy.
In terror and panic and shock and awe.
So many emotions mixed together, and I couldn’t begin to know which one should be at the top of the list.
